may have found the funniest possible thing ever in this essay on medieval sex laws im reading hold on

From Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe by James A. Brundage

This is how tiktok users decide if you deserve to die or not

it. it ends in 50 years…..horse is fucking eternal

Let’s keep the post circulating for 50 years it’ll be great when we’re all in the old folks home

Shape: Unimodal, Roughly Symmetrical

Center: Likely at "🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🐎🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱"

Two lovers have reincarnated throughout history, destined to find each other and fall in love all over again. There’s also this third guy that reincarnates alongside them… we don’t really know what he does.

this is insane

Every part of this car sounds like this project we did in 6th grade to design a car. And this company's cars already has a kill count.

my son Otto Mobile who has every disease

new states just dropped and white supremacist sharks live there

met a new kinda guy on twitter today

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Who the fuck wrote this

“Encountering an artichoke, one might wonder how the first person to eat that vegetable ever got past the exterior spines and the interior core of throat-raking needles to discover the sweet heart hidden within. Many foodstuffs present similar mysteries, such as rhubarb, whose poison parts surround succulent stems, or vegetables and meats whose toxins require hours of careful flushing before they relinquish edible substances. The vast family of peppers can burn the tissues of the mouth, eyes, and nose so painfully that they are sometimes used as punishment, yet they also have become immensely popular in the diet of many peoples. None of these examples represents bounties of the earth immediately inviting to the palate, and given the sheer difficulty of finding the nutrients to be had from fierce, dangerous, or toxic substances, we might well wonder that human beings ever learned to eat anything beyond the first fruits of the garden of Eden - one of which proved to be the most dangerous of all! (…) The remarkable thing is not just that we managed to eat, but that we managed and continue to manage to take considerable pleasure in foods that present us with challenges to both our senses and our sensibilities.”

— Carolyn Korsmeyer, ‘Delightful, Delicious, Disgusting’, The Journal of Aesthetics and Art Criticism, vol. 60, no. 3 (2002)

this is just what gerrymandering in the US looks like 

You do realise a LOT of french people will oppose that right ? Word of advice : leave the Bretons alone or be prepared for repercussions

the french will be completely fine with it stop being such a tightass

i always forget that bird from starfox is named falco lombardi. italian bird. i know his home life is some bananas shit.

falco's italian bird mom: falcone when are you gonna get a real job. youre comin home all hours a the night smellin like space shit trackin martian dirt on my fuckin floors. how am i supposed to get any grandchildren with you livin like this

falco: ma i dont wanna hear it right now alright can you just tell me where the prosciutto is, im tryin ta make a fuckin sandwich ova here

falco's italian bird mom: giacomo do you hear this bullshit comin outta your son's mouth right now

falco's half italian bird dad: m'watchin wheel of fortune

thank you doraemon <333

remember when you used to be able to play snake with the… hold on what’s it called

hmm. don’t think i’ll be calling it that. anyways i was gonna say remember when you could play snake with the buffering circle on youtube but. now i have other concerns

i love solar beam,

water pokémon 5 to 10 levels below me prepare to feel the unmatched power of the sun.

@iamthepulta

Effeminate dentist: You need to brush more on your gums-- hold on why am I "effeminate?" What? I'm literally just a normal dentist. A masculine one, even.

Me: (struggling to speak through the dentist's fingers) youw weren't shupposhed to shee that