We got a box of donuts at work today and I cut mine in half and everything.
I’m going to miss my carefully curated butt collection.
I was given so much candy at work today that I turned down work cake later on in the afternoon, but what I really want to know is why did five people follow me today. Who did the thing and what even was the thing???
sup new followers. you chose this.
i set a goal that i would go to the store today, but so far the only items on my list are liquor and yogurt.
hello new followers. you chose this.
There aren’t even that many more of you, I just wanted to share that I found a BBC documentary on frat boys (specifically a set in Florida), and this guy is having a pledge clean out the black mold from behind/around his bed and the narrative is focusing on making pledges do menial chores and power plays and brotherhood and not the fact that this guy’s been sleeping in a cocoon of black mold for an unspecified amount of time.
sup handful of new followers. you chose this.
“It smells funny in here,” one of Yuuri’s coworkers says offhandedly at the end of a Thursday morning progress assessment. She sniffs loudly and frowns at the copier. The copier continues not to smell like anything but toner, but Yuuri knows what she means. It does smell off in the office. He wrinkles his nose. “Ah,” he agrees, before wandering back to his cubicle.
Or trying to, anyway.
“You think,” another coworker blocks his path, “I mean, yeah, it’s bad. I could bake?”
He’s from America. Yuuri’s pretty sure this coworker is from America, but Yuuri couldn’t remember his name even if remembering his name gave the rememberer a date with Viktor Nikiforov.
“The kitchenette has an oven, and I have all the stuff I need at my desk, or. Most of the things? And the smell of cookies makes everything better, right?”
When Yuuri was in America for college he once ate an entire tub of bright blue July-themed cookies from a grocery store. He gained seventeen pounds that summer before he worked it all off crying over job applications. He smiles. “Ah,” he agrees.
The American coughs.
Somehow Yuuri ends up helping the American bring a box full of baking supplies from one end of the building all the way over to the kitchenette. He melts a stick of butter the American digs out of the back of the refrigerator, and helps the American roll the dough into smooth clumps. Yuuri has three projects he needs to finish, as well as a presentation for the CEO, but the mindless work is calming. Plus, there will be cookies on the other side. It’s a bit troublesome that the American keeps coughing, and blushing, and talking about dancing and how much he likes dogs, but Americans are odd. Yuuri learned that even before he went to school in America.
“Thank you,” Yuuri says ten minutes later, when the American places an oven-warm cookie in Yuuri’s hand. Then he leaves, the smell of brown sugar and chocolate chips wafting along behind him, replacing the unpleasant odor from before. The American coughs again.
Yuuri hopes he’s not coming down with something. It would be irresponsible to cook for the department while ill.
(based on a true story)
(sup new followers. you chose this.)
I had to clean my bag out for my trip and it now no longer has five (5) dirty spoons inside it. Also, I thought I just had the one ice cream place stamp card floating around in there, but once I starting taking crap out I found out I also had enough stamps for a free small gelato spread across five (5) gelato place stamp cards.
I can’t say I’m surprised.
Hello, new followers. You chose this.
So as it turns out, when you mix vegetables with white pepper, red pepper, cayenne pepper, and chili oil they turn out super hot once they’re cooked.
Hello, new followers. You chose this.
Today I picked up the first delivery from the farm share thing I signed up for.
I also became the unofficial MVP of my kickball team.
Adulthood is really inconsistent.
Sup new followers. You chose this. And if you did it because of the donut AU you already know what you’re getting yourself into. If you don’t know what I’m talking about when I say donut AU then IGNORE THAT PART, CARRY ON.
This morning I remembered I have an upcoming assignment which requires me to build a documentation binder for reference purposes (and then to duplicate it for multiple locations) and my first thought was not ughhhhhh paperwork but rather yesssssss binders.
Sup, new people. I forgot my lunch today and I think I might not be able to find a free replacement. Feel free to talk to me about garlic butter, nonsense, FEELINGS, office supplies or what have you. You chose this.
A tip: if you have already burned the roof of your mouth on pizza, do not take a sprinkled cake donut from the kitchenette. Choose a softer donut. Ow. Hi new followers. You chose this.
On Monday some of the guys at work gave me 3/4 of a pizza. (I ate the other 1/4 in the meeting where we ordered it, so I guess you could say they gave me 4/4 of a pizza.) I had biked to the place where we had the meeting and the basket on my bike was too small to fit the pizza box in it, so one of them drove over to my office just to put the rest of the pizza on my desk. I finished that pizza at lunch today. Someone came by my cubicle to ask my secret to obtaining an entire free pizza. This doesn’t really count as a YOU CHOSE THIS, I’m just bragging about my pizza game this week.
You chose this, new followers. I send my pizza luck along to you. May you be blessed with free pizza and sunny skies under which to bicycle.
Today I learned I have a thirst for Georgi merch. Did you know they make Georgi merch WITHOUT EYESHADOW? How dare they.
(I also have a thirst for Makkachin merch. That one’s easier.)
Sup new followers. I need to stop buying yoi merch. Talk to me about your own yoi merch buying problems. Also: you chose this.
my most worthwhile contribution to this fandom is probably gonna be helping people realize no they are not being judged they are instead BEAUTIFUL INTERNATIONAL STUDENT to someone else. and that's too positive, so to bring it back to the usual territory there were cupcakes in the kitchenette this morning and i had one for breakfast. sup new people. you chose this.
SOMEONE SNUCK A DOG IN TO WORK TODAY. MY SOUL IS FILLED WITH JOY EVEN AS THE REST OF ME IS DEAD INSIDE BECAUSE NOT ENOUGH SLEEP AND I WANT TO FLIP A TABLE AT THE INCOMPETENCE OF MY PEERS.
ALSO I HAVE ACQUIRED A SECOND SATAN-BASED NICKNAME AT WORK AND I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF.
sup, new people. there are almost twice as many of you now as were following me for like the past 2 years.
i just set a can of coke down into a mug of cold tea
like i’m sitting on my couch, and i wanted to set down my diet caffeine free soda, so i reached down and without looking set it in the exact same spot i set my mug of tea down on last night and then never picked it up again.
i need to get an end table.
welcome, new followers. you chose this.
Today I am spending my lunch break eating tacos and stealing nicer chairs from other conference rooms. Happy Valentine's Day, new people.
this morning i stole an apple danish from outside a meeting i was definitely not invited to and i didn’t even get jelly hands. #adulting
hello and good morning, new people.
update: for lunch i was brought three halves of separate kinds of pizza that were left over from a meeting i was also not invited to.
