mouthporn.net
#i still need to use it in a real fic – @kixboxer on Tumblr
Avatar

beep beep danger

@kixboxer / kixboxer.tumblr.com

I may or may not be a jar full of moths.
Avatar

I have already spent a significant amount of time today thinking about Mayoraa Yuuri: Russia Edition. "Oh Yuuri it's okay if you don't like the smoked herring salad, I'm told it's an acquired ta--" Yuuri has already tripled the amount of mayo and is blithely spreading it over crackers. He has essentially created Smoked Herring Mayo.

Avatar

What if Yuuri accidentally becomes a Russian hero in his own right after Viktor nudges him into doing an ad for Sloboda? He downs an entire packet like it’s the nectar of the ice gods and not spoiling egg paste. He’s already a meme because of his spectacular falls and all the times he’s cried and his resting bitch face. (Well, those things with Phichit’s judicious application at the right websites at the right hours of the day turned him into a meme, otherwise his glory may have been lost to the sands of internet time.)

He’s already disliked in Russia for taking Viktor away.

But then the ad campaign becomes popular.

And then the Katsuki Challenge surfaces from somewhere. Russian teenagers post videos of doing mayo shots. Russian grandmothers post videos of doing mayo shots.

The country sits up a bit.

They notice how Yuuri brought Viktor back to them. How Viktor’s doing the best they’ve seen him in so many years. Sure, there are the fans that will always hate Yuuri for one reason or another. But on the whole, the nation starts to love him.

The ISU and the FFKKR have to issue a joint statement banning jars from rinks and stadiums because so many Russian fans begin to throw them at the ice after Yuuri skates. It causes long delays as the ice has to be resurfaced from the damage. Russian fans get around the ban by slathering mayonnaise on other things to throw to Yuuri: dumplings, underwear, herring, pizza.

A story starts to circulate about Viktor being jealous of all this attention. (He hasn’t had to share the spotlight in years. He’s used to being alone at the top.)

Yuuri thinks it’s absurd anyone really believes he’s a Russian hero. What. What?

Viktor thinks it’s absurd anyone really believes he is not thrilled to pieces that his country has taken to his fiance and loves him almost as much as Viktor does.

(Plus, now Viktor doesn’t have to pretend to have particular fondness for mayonnaise, because Yuuri eats every bit of it that winds up in their house.)

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net