YOU CHOSE THIS

so i walked past the downstairs kitchenette today after lunch and noticed there was a box of donuts. and i thought okay, i am an adult human, i am capable of learning from my actions. i only took half a lemon bismarck. i wrapped it in a paper towel so the jelly would get on the paper and not on me. that totally worked. i am so mature, i thought, as i ate my half a lemon bismarck from someone else’s meeting.

and then the end of today came. i have to pass by that same kitchenette to leave the building. there was half a red bismarck left. i am an adult human capable of learning from my actions.

i took the half a red bismarck.

i immediately got jelly all over my right hand.

i had to grab my badge out of my right jacket pocket with my left hand in order to leave the building, and it was a confusing dance and i’m glad the hallway was empty.

i am an adult human and i might be capable of learning from my actions i just have yet to do it.

welcome, newcomers.

YOU CHOSE THIS

take my mug take my cube put me where there’s less free food I don't care I'm still free you can't take the sky from me shut me in the conference room tell me I ain't leavin’ soon burn the LAN and the copy machine you can't take the sky from me have no place I can be since I lost my sanity but you can't take the sky from me