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#going outside is really difficult – @kixboxer on Tumblr
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beep beep danger

@kixboxer / kixboxer.tumblr.com

I may or may not be a jar full of moths.
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Anonymous asked:

hey do you remember the self parking chairs??? because i had the sudden mental image of office au where Yurio claps every time JJ is about to drink or something bc FUCK YOU JJ and Yuuri is long-suffering because not again. please. meanwhile victor either works in another department or has a whole 'nother job and loves to welcome Yuuri home after a long day of work in probably a sexy maid outfit or some shit. next to Victor is Yuuri's only safe haven and heaven away from the madness

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE HEARD OF THEM (as a side note, clearly none of these people give very good presentations if the only time people clap afterwards is when they want the chairs put away, just sayin)

Yurio thinks he is the Jim to JJ’s Dwight, I can see it.

Meanwhile Viktor is Yuuri’s loving trophy husband who stays home and looks after their children - the nanny properly takes care of them, but Viktor watches them with love in his eyes!! - and sometimes takes contract work. Viktor buys himself nice suits so he can look good for Yuuri when they go to company events. “This is a summer picnic Viktor oh my god is that couture,” Yuuri says. Viktor holds the tub of potato salad the nanny showed him how to make close. He just wanted everyone to know how Yuuri keeps him in a level of comfort he has come to enjoy!!

Yuuri still lets Viktor spoon-feed him potato salad while they watch their children and dogs run through the sprinklers because he is a good husband.

#ask response#anon#i don't know what i'm doing anymore#tell me to take a shower and go to the library and the store#GOING OUTSIDE IS REALLY DIFFICULT#BUT TROPHY HUSBAND VIKTOR NIKIFOROV#GIVE ME TEN NOVELS WORTH OF TROPHY HUSBAND VIKTOR NIKIFOROV AND YOU WILL NOT HAVE GIVEN ME ENOUGH#let's see how many yuuri eating his feelings tags i can accumulate!!!#DISGUSTING MARRIED PEOPLE#like proto fic#yoi
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hockpock
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luchia13

How to Have a Highly Successful Social Reputation When You Have Severe Anxiety to The Point of Agoraphobia:

  1. go to one in three events you are invited to, as long as you are given that invitation over a week in advance to prepare,
  2. tell people beforehand that you have to leave by a specific time due to Excuse (even ‘early morning tomorrow’ works if you inform them immediately upon receiving invitation), stick to this departure time at all costs, regardless of events,
  3. pretend to be Hannibal Lecter when you get there.
  4. you must at all times be amiable and charming so people don’t realize you are a serial killer
  5. you can hang out by the food and compliment it and ask questions about ingredients and stuff
  6. you can focus on making subtle cannibalism puns throughout the night (and yes this does help)
  7. you are interested in people, and learning about those people, because you have that whole ‘choosing victims’ thing going on and also have to think of an ironically beautiful way to kill them
  8. THEY CAN NEVER KNOW YOU ARE PRETENDING YOU’RE HANNIBAL LECTER, so you better use a cover story of being yourself when they ask questions. quickly deflect back to your target conversation partner.
#GOING OUTSIDE IS REALLY DIFFICULT#THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED UNTIL THEY WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME#but what if i meet another person pretending and we accidentally plot the perfect murder#what then
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