And What If I Just Rip Out Her Throat

i love that halo can die from the broken steam pipes at the start of the first game... uh oh earth is really in trouble now, halo went out broccoli style

Someone commented very angrily one day that my fallout fanart is emo and gay. I took it as a compliment

tip for californians: sometimes you might see a trans woman complaining that she doesn't like being called 'bro' or 'dude'. you might be behin a lobg reply about how you can't help it with "as a Californian." this is NOT NECESSARY—everyone could already telll you were californian because of your unshakeable conviction that you're the main character of reality

The onion jumpscaring me with good news

tumblr is really funny because a bunch of the posts on here are the kind of funny that anyone would enjoy them. but then there's also a good fucking portion of posts on here that are so fucking bizarre that they're only really funny to the weird cockroach bitches whove been on tumblr nonstop for over a decade. and if you're tumblr-irradiated enough, you start to lose the ability to differentiate between those two types of posts.

Kamala: Joe Biden, my kitten, we have been defeated. swallow this pill with Mommy. it will all be over soon....

i gotta remember this

consider the sperm whale and the squid. an ancient rivalry that dates back millions of years. we know the whales eat the squids. we know the squids do not make it easy for them. we know this because of the scars the whales carry, scars on the outside of their body, and on the inside as well. how badly must you want something to endure wounds inside your mouth? inside your gut?

consider the whale, who is harmed by what sustains her. consider the squid, whose flesh is soft and delicious but refuses to go down easy.

This post is about lactose intolerance I can smell it.

Yo what’s in da sausage

a co máte v plánu vy?

Oh my fucking god god god god god i just found the funniest picture while deep into google images

I gotta ask, what were you searching for that you dug up such a gem?

It was honestly something like “fucking Bingo boy when the binga bonga bling” i can tell you exactly when i get home

Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs

jesus that is good to know.

Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten. 

REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit

my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies

Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs. So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying. So what’d they do? They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs! The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!

AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS

this post just got so much better

THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST

this is emmett and cullen they are best friends

This is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.

Dogs are truly angels.

so THATS why these cheetah ft dogo pics exist

the anxiety cat

Also! Cheetahs are not in fact classified as big cats, they are simply very large lesser cats, due to the fact that they purr, meow, chirp, and cannot roar. Also many cheetahs have learned to recognize wildlife photographers are friends and not foes, so they will just come up to people and be friendly occasionally as pictured at the top of the chain. Some will even leave their Cubs with photographers to look after while they hunt. So. Yeah. Cheetahs are great

this works because cheetahs are actually fairly social animals, and they look to members of their group for context on how worried they should be about any given Situation. but since cheetahs are also nervous social animals, they can work each other into an anxiety spiral pretty easily over things like “being in an enclosed habitat” and “there’s a guy over there”.

so by introducing a dog as a member of the group, the cheetahs will now look to the dog for context clues on how worried they should be! and the dog Is Not Worried At All, Thanks, so the cheetahs think everything must be chill even if they were personally unsure about it, and they stop being so freaked out about literally everything.

Cheetah: oh god what’s going on how are we feeling weird spotless cheetah

Dog: :) fine, thanks

Cheetah: :) oh, okay

accidentally hit something on the treadmill at my gym and it opened a web browser??

whatever dude i dont even look that tormented mostly