Had a dream where this became the new meme for a bit

Did I do it right?

You did it perfectly.

@lipid

official fish post

I dreamed that I was playing mariokart and there was a track that took 3 days to complete and when I somehow managed to get 1st place a popup came onscreen that had a pic of koopa troopa and text that read “congratulations!! you’re gonna have so much sex” and I started laughing so hard I woke up

Did they stop quartering people cuz they realized all it did was create four of the guy they were trying to kill

posts from the timeline where starfish are the dominant civilization

Well those are allllmost done

question. why do you have 7 featureless grey monoliths in your driveway

There's eight actually but the last one is still in the garage

question. why do you have eight featureless grey monoliths

They're actually a really dark purple

question. why do you have seven featureless really dark purple monoliths in your driveway and an eighth in the garage

Some of them do have features though. There's holes and hinges and stuff, so I can put secrets in em

question. why do you have 8 really dark purple occasionally featureful monoliths

The heart wants what the heart wants

this reads like a muppet sketch

see? See!??!

You're not wrong

Someone should probably check up on this guy

I called his house and his cat told me he's fine and not to worry about him.

(via @wojit )

Source: lilochipie

I don't usually like animal videos with captions, but I'll make an exception for this one because the voice-over is actually good.

This gets funnier to me everything I watch it.

I love that she’s not putting on a scary mask, or making scary faces or noises, or wearing her clothes to distort her figure, or doing anything overtly scary or inhuman. She’s just… walking in a way that humans are technically capable of walking and it’s somehow terrifying. It’s not even just that it’s unusual– if she’d come around the corner walking on her hands I doubt they’d have bolted.

I wonder if this is a learned fear (from horror movies and such) or something instinctive about the pose?

WHY IS THIS FUNNY?!?!?!

Pablo Wendel, made up like an ancient warrior, jumped into a pit showcasing the 2,200-year-old pottery soldiers and stood motionless.

The 26-year-old was eventually spotted and removed from the scene.

Mr Wendel is reported to have entered the museum where he changed into his outfit, jumped over a barrier and took up a position on a pedestal he had taken along.

“I got to the area where he was supposed to be, looked around and didn’t see him - he looked too much like a terracotta warrior,” said a security guard.

(Fact Source) Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

who else up hurkleing their durkleing

Another day in the Office

Surrealist humor sure is taking on a new flavor huh

I have finally identified my only two braincells.

In 3d video games at least, objects that clip like this bump around and make so much noise because they are gaining speed as they rapidly cut between being pushed and pulled by the surface's collision box. These objects can possess immense speed even if they look relatively stationary.

Touching the chair may well result in releasing this enormous amount of confined speed into your body, which is a fun way to meet the dev team.

#well now i gotta forever use meet the dev team as a euphamism for dying

Luna had to wear her surgical recovery onsie for a few days after getting fixed, but she took it in stride

My roommate and I quote this all the time but the name keeps warping more and more every time. No dinner for gabiblio? No shower for john the baptist? No gas station Slurpee for jorbigoth?

@salticid​ you’re amazing and I love ur cryptic spambot convo I hope u like this!!

[twitter]

IVE FOUND IT AT LAST

This will always be my favorite gifset. Ever.

im morally obligated to reblog this every time i see it

So I went to the Josh Fight

a summary:

- Two Josh Swains were in attendance. OG Josh, hailing from Arizona

- And Nebraska's own Josh Swain, from Omaha.

(feat. An Audio Engineer doing THE MOST for that sound quality)

-All the local news stations were there

- The majority of attendees were from out of state

- The two Josh Swains battled for supremacy by Rock Paper Scissors duel.

- The victor? Josh Swain, from Arizona. A crushing defeat for Josh Swain, who despite having none of Josh Swain's newfound Twitter Clout, DID have the home team advantage, as well as a Great Look.

- Following the Josh Swain Duel and coronation of the One True Josh Swain, there was an All-Josh pool noodle battle royale

- A brief list of notable Josh Variants I saw in this battle:

The rules were simple. Enter the ring and fight honorably (no headshots, no hits below the belt.) If you are hit with a pool noodle, you are dead, having fallen in glorious battle. The last Josh standing would be the winner.

The battle lasted a little over sixty seconds in total. The final victor was....

LITTLE JOSH, THE SMALLEST COMBATANT.

The crowd was going wild. The chanting for Little Josh was deafening. Truly there could have been no better outcome.

pool noodle combat was then opened to the general public, for fun rather than glory.

As for Josh Prime, he was like a very cool dude! As of last reporting, he raised $6600 dollars for the Children's Hospital and a truckload of nonperishables for the local food bank alongside the other Josh Fight attendees! He offered masks to any maskless people he met, and did his best to keep things as safe and socially distanced as he could, despite the ungodly amount of people who showed up to this random fucking field outside of Lincoln, Nebraska.

(Also for the Nebraskans: Yes he tried a Runza, and yes he says he enjoyed it.)

So anyway. Shoutout to the one and only Josh Swain.

OH ALSO here is just the raw footage I got of the Josh Swain Duel and the All-Josh Pool Noodle Battle Royale