🥠Cookies🍪

Dear god Epic is slowly pulling me back into Percy Jackson so it's time for a mini crossover idea. (If I get some details wrong please forgive me, it's been a hot minute and I've got the memory of a walnut). Okay, let's say they've gotta get Odysseus's Bow for whatever reason. As the group's contemplating how they're gonna find this thing the gods all just slowly turn to Poseidon.

Poseidon: ...

Athena: You gonna give them her address or should I?

Poseidon: *Groans as he pulls out a pen and post-it note* Okay boys, you're gonna go to this address in Ithaca, knock on the door, ask for [Insert Name Here]. If she's not there go to this address in New Jersey.

Tyson: Who is she?

Poseidon: Your older sister

Percy: We have a sister? Why didn't you ever tell us about her?

Poseidon: ...

Athena: 🤨

Poseidon: .....Go visit your sister

So they do their adventure, escape a couple rough situations, slay a couple monsters. They eventually get to the address, knock on the door, and a young(in terms of appearance) woman with the bluest eyes known to man opens it. She's all smiles, offers them some snacks while she gets the bow.

Nico: Okay, just wondering, why do you have this thing?

Sister: ???

Sister: It's my dad's...Why wouldn't I have it???

Tyson: Huh?

Sister: Odysseus is my other dad

Silence for about a good fifteen seconds before a sly smirk spreads across her face.

Sister: You want the tea?

Percy: Hell yeah!

She pulls out her phone, sends someone a text and not even five minutes later Athena is bursting through the door.

Annabeth: Mom?

Athena: Hi honey. *Points to [Insert Name Here]* You, put the kettle on. *Points to the group* The rest of you, sit down and listen up because I'm still pissed about this shit.

Over the course of the next hour and a half she tells them the juiciest tea they've ever heard. By the end of it they're not surprised that shit never got written down because why would Poseidon and Zeus ever allow future generations know they were fighting that hard—caused a whole second war—for a damn mortal.

Apollo and Hermes pop in for colorful commentary and Athena is less than amused.

Athena: What are you two even doing here!?

Apollo: Bored :P

Hermes: Poseidon asked me to send a message to the girl—

Sister: I have a name 😑

Hermes: —But it can wait! Now have you told them about how they both tried kissing up to the kids to soften Odysseus up?

Apollo: Oh yeah! I remember Poseidon bribed me into giving Telemachus a couple arrows—

Athena: I WAS GETTING TO THAT!

Do you think the PJO Demigods, when they are allowed to use social media, are as obsessed with Epic as the rest of us?

Or do you think that College age Percy and Crew are secretly working with Jorge in making Epic?

Because, just imagine Percy just randomly appearing in Atlantis, walking up to his dad, and randomly asking "so what do you think of the Manwhore AU?"

And Poseidon is just utterly confused.

If it's college age oh they're definitely working with Jorge no questions, however, middle and high school is where it gets truly interesting. Because if it's that age bracket camp halfblood is a warzone every time a new saga drops because they're definitely fighting over whose mom or dad had the best intro song.

But anyway, Percy absolutely belts Ruthlessness in the shower. Annabeth pretends she doesn't like it but everyone's caught her mumble singing "Goddess of wisdoooom, master of waaaaar" at least once. And if Percy were to elaborate—

Poseidon: ...I mean if he had offered—

Percy: EW! DAD—

Zeus: No, because Homer wasn't exaggerating about Odysseus's thighs—you could have crushed a watermelon between those things—!

It's November 1st, and Percy Kicks down the door to the Hades Cabin, points towards the bathroom, and belts out "Get in the Water" to a Nico who hasn't had a shower in a week because Will was given a Quest and hasn't been around to mother hen him.

And Annabeth absolutely adores "We'll be fine" because that's just a song about Annabeth thinking about Luke and nobody can tell me otherwise.

Grover roams around camp humming the tune to "Open Arms" because he and Polities are peace bro's.

Thalia hates to admit it, but she adores "Thunder Bringer" but will eternally claim that she hates it, and that "Storm" is her favorite.

Nico and Will worship the Underworld Saga in it's entirety to concerning levels.

Clarisse first heard Ruthlessness about 20 seconds into the song, walking into the room after all the chanting of Poseidon and totally believed that the song was about Ares on her first listen, claiming it was the best song she's ever heard. Only to freeze in fear when she hit replay and there was 20 seconds of straight chanting saying that the song was about Poseidon and made the rest of the Ares cabin swear to never speak of this again. (It's still her ringtone to this day and Chris laughs every time it rings around Percy.)

Thalia: In the end, it's all the same once I apply all the pressure~. THUNDER BRING HER—!

Will: Hey, have you seen—?

Thalia: GET OUT *Throws brush at his head*

Might I just say, Thalia and Jason definitely knew no peace after God Games dropped. For at least two weeks whenever someone needed something it was always "THALIA, GOD QUEEN" or "JASON, GOD KING". And you know the manwhore au jokes were even worse for them since their father basically caused it.

Anytime Thalia and Jason were playing a game after God Games, everyone they were playing against began throwing the games and letting them win because "they didn't want to get Smited and have their kingdoms fall" for a solid 2 weeks before Thalia finally snapped and said "I'll Smite everyone who throws the game from now on" and things went back to normal.

The Official Animatics of God Games made all of the Athena kids Cringe at how bad of a dancer their mother was, and the Apollo Cabin has made an oath that all Athena Kids have to have Dance Lessons so as not to be as awkward and terrible as their mother. (The Stolls and Dionysus twins have begun using the Gif of Athena awkwardly dancing in all Official and unofficial messages from the Camp Social Media and their own personal messages.)

Will had a prophetic vision of the end of God Games and accidentally spoiled the fate of Athena getting Smited by Zeus to Nico and the entire Apollo Cabin. Nobody has forgiven him and it's been 3 months since he spoiled it.

The Aphrodite Cabin were the first among camp to find both the fully leaked beta version of "the challenge" but also were the first to discover that AO3 had a Odysseus/Penelope/Athena tag. The Athena Cabin has not known a single day since without having printed out copies of very detailed Fanfiction about their mother having an undying love for Odysseus and Penelope that they have at this point just started an evidence board to try and disprove it, and are finding concerningly little evidence that says they weren't a Throuple after the Odyssey.

The harder they search, the more evidence they find pointing in the opposite direction that Athena might have had a thing for at least one of them. They all wanna stop but they're in too deep now, have to know more. Percy always held back giggles whenever Annabeth vented about another fanfic taped to the cabin door. Yeah it stopped being funny after they got a spicy Odysseus/Poseidon fic stapled to theirs.

Playing certain songs around certain cabins/people is basically a declaration of war. Playing Ruthlessness around Zeus's or Thunder Bringer around Poseidon's will get you the most vicious death glares known to man. Playing Warrior of the Mind around Ares will get you jumped.

Multiple people have caught Will performing No Longer You in the woods when he thinks he's alone. Getting real into the ghostly prophet role.

Somebody accidentally socked Tyson in the eye with a ball and all eyes turn to Percy. You could hear a pin drop it was so damn quiet.

I feel like Tyson would rock with Legendary—I don't know why I just think he would.

Yeah it's safe to say ALL of the councilors are seriously regretting giving them wifi, but it's too late to go back now—there'll be hell to pay if they take this away from them.

Percy: hey dad… I’ve heard some… interesting things about you.

Poseidon: huh? What things?

Percy: well Annabeth was talking about some guy named Odysseus and-

Poseidon: *realization* PERCY WHAT EVER ANNABETH SAID IS FAKE!!!

Percy: I don’t judge dad, I know you’d do the same if someone one hurt me or Tyson.

Poseidon: *relief* oh, oh yes that’s it. I killed most of that man’s crew that’s it. I was a different person back then.

Percy: oh and she also said that you and that dude fu-

Poseidon: WHAT!?