Kitten Night Farts

What We Do in the Shadows - 1x07

Bonus:

Dark greetings of the night to all members of the Vampiric Council.

Amazing.

WAIT DID THEY MAKE MORE WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS WHAT WHAT @lucilannister @tinysharkperson

update: there is apparently a tv show going since MARCH how did nobody tell me

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney - early 20th century

Eric Andre - Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi - Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves - We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum - 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau - Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

this is david lynch erasure

Who are the female immortals?

Jenny Slate - Jazz Age Darling, bffs with Alice Roosevelt

Helena Bonham Carter - Refused an invitation to dine with Queen Victoria based on her treatment of the Irish

Lucy Liu - ran away from home to join Ching Shih, 19th century Pirate Queen’s crew. Was considered too soft for fighting and was given an accordion

Bjork - 14th century Icelandic healer accused of witchcraft, also possibly a selkie

Whoopie Goldberg - present during the Conquest of Constantinople but don’t bring it up around her, it’s too fresh in her mind

Tilda Swinton - found sleeping in a peat bog. Carbon dating inconclusive

☓ HANNIBAL GENDERSWAP ☓

“Along the way you bump into people who make a dent on your life. Some are born to sit by a river. Some people get struck by lightning. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim the English Channel. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people can dance.” The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (dir. David Fincher, 2008)

☓ HANNIBAL GENDERSWAP ☓

Tilda Swinton By Tim Walker

Rebecca Keegan: Tilda, in Snowpiercer you’re playing a role that was originally written for a man…how did that affect the way you approached it? Tilda Swinton: I think it still is actually written for a man. I don’t think it ever changed.

—Hollywood Sessions: Supporting Actress [x]

JEAN-BAPTISTE MONDINO | TILDA SWINTON | POMELLATO COLLECTION | 2014 

I am laughing, so loudly right now, it’s almost inappropriate. 

Endless list of favorite kinks [2/∞]

Tilda Swinton

“Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen, not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Tempestuous as the sea, and stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me and despair!”

“If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of his love.”

dansmonunivers:

Tilda Swinton as David Bowie by Craig Mcdean for Vogue italia 

WHATWHATWHATYES

I feel like this is relevant to some of my friends’ interests.

whoa.