so THIS is why he tried to shake Harry’s hand!

i honestly wish there was just a crack version of all the hp movies and this was the basis of the first plot

Now imagine everything Harry does being seen as some cool power move by Malfoy.

Refusing his friendship? Just knowing his own worth and not willing to be an underling.

Befriending Weasley and Granger? Nice going, Potter. Keep rabble around to accentuate yourself.

Being rich and powerful but still getting Dumbledore to buy you the literal best broom on the market with money that was part of schools’ budget?……You remind me of a muggle father mentioned, I think his name was Bezos?

I’m sorry, but - Malfoy would LOSE HIS SHIT when everyone thought Harry was the Heir of Slytherin. He’d idolise him.

And the fic for this is where, please?

Jesus christ

WELL DONE LA LA LAND

HOWEVER-

WAKE UP POTTER

WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO

Oh i get it now.

OH MY GOD IN FCUKING DYINF

oym ah WAT

Since They changed Philosopher's Stone to Sorcerer's Stone for America, I decided to change the rest since us American's are too dumb to understand the word philosopher:

Harry Potter and The Whisper Snake Place

Harry Potter and That Mean Jail Man

Harry Potter and The Hot Cup

Harry Potter and The Bird Club

Harry Potter and The Guy With Only Some Blood

Harry Potter and Death 

Just imagine though all the letters that must have been sent home about the shit Hermione did at school or updates the school sends to muggle parents so they’re kept in the know. And she’s never been in trouble before so her parents think this is just regular wizarding school hijinks because it obviously never has context for them and Hermione just rolls with it

“She saved the philosophers stone.” “Oh good for her! She must have gotten there before everyone else in class”

“People must get petrified all the time. It says not to worry though so it can’t be a serious illness”

“It says they’re obliged to inform us that ‘dementors’ will be at the school all year.” “That sounds exciting, I wonder what subject they’ll be teaching?”

“She’s been selected to participate in the second triwizard tournament task.” “Yes we had a letter about the tournament, she must really be getting stuck in with it and making all sorts of foreign connections.”

“Says she was part of a secret defence club?” “Oh I’m so glad she’s finally getting involved in the clubs, it’ll be good for her, you know she studies too much”

“I wonder why we didn’t get any updates from the school this year? They always seem to have something going on.”

“I’ve been thinking you know, about moving to Australia. We did always want to.” “I don’t know what’s been stopping us all these years to be honest. Let’s do it.”

You lured me in and then stabbed me in the back

I’m not crying, my eyes are raining that’s all.

So how stupid do you think the Hogwarts teachers felt back in Harrys first year when their traps and riddles designed to keep out Lord fucking Voldemort were beaten by three 11 year olds

do you think after Ron and Hermione got out of the trapdoor and raised the alarm and were being patched up in the hospital wing

do you think they were given the most royal proud mama smackdown by McGonagall like “ how DARE you infiltrate a death maze you are ELEVEN and miss granger how on earth did you solve my chessboard i”

and hermione interjected like “oh professor it wasn’t me. i’m useless at chess. it was ron.”

and McGonagall turned to look at Ron Weasley in total amazement at this 11 yr old kid who had been pretty ordinary in all her classes but had apparently beaten her in death chess and he just shrugged like “rookie mistakes, professor. you made some rookie mistakes.”

Can you imagine how it felt when harry caught the snitch and an entire stadium of people cheered for him. A whole stadium of people proud of harry who’s never had someone be proud of him in his entire life

Guys. I just realized something.

I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING.

In this scene in DH part II, Harry, Ron and Hermione are just running around doing shit. Until now, I thought it was rather pointless and that they just took it in the movie to add some action. 

But then.

I REALIZED SOMETHING.

Okay, in this order, it happens.

First, a giant, ugly creature tries to kill them with a large weapon. They hide behind a pipe.

Second, there are spiders. Loads of ‘em.

Third, there is a werewolf.

Then, there are dementors.

In that particular order.

Still don’t get it? We’ll take it again.

FIRST, A GIANT, UGLY CREATURE TRYING TO KILL THEM WITH A LARGE WEAPON AND THEY HIDE BEHIND A PIPE.

SECOND, THERE ARE SPIDERS. LOADS OF THEM.

THIRD, THERE IS A WEREWOLF.

THEN, THERE ARE DEMENTORS.

THIS SCENE IS A PIECE OF ART AND IT IS SO GODDAMN IMPORTANT BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT THEY HAVE ALREADY BATTLED AND NOW THEY DO IT AGAIN IN A SECOND WITH A SMALL SPELL AND IT SHOWS HOW MUCH THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH AND HOW MUCH THEY HAVE GROWN.

thank you and goodnight

Then the Order of the Phoenix appears, and then they get to the Half-Blood Prince.

This is one of the best HP insights I’ve ever seen and that’s saying a lot.

Courtesy of Sincerely Tumblr on Twitter

Whelp.This just broke my heart.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone.

The very first book I really enjoyed reading.

I’ll try to do one fanart for each volume if I have time.

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."