i’m re-reading animorphs, a series i loved when i was a closeted young child, as a queer adult and feeling a little insane over it actually. like ok so. imagine you are just a normal regular kid until one day, a chance encounter with an adult unlike any adult you've ever met before abruptly changes who you are as a person, and suddenly you are not like other kids at all. and now you have to fight a secret battle for survival, but you cannot tell anyone around you about it, because many of the people around you harbor a secret violent hatred for who you are, and if you tell someone without realizing the person you're talking to is one of the people who hates you, that person will either put you through horrific harm to make you like them or just outright kill you. this is true of every single person around you—your parents, your siblings, your friends, your teachers—except for a few other kids who you know share your same secret.
and now you have to try to maintain close relationships with the people you love even though you cannot tell them who you really are, who you spend your time with, who you go to when you're not with them. when you see your secret companions in public, you have to try to pretend you barely know them, because being seen together too often could lead to suspicion. you are enduring consistent ongoing trauma that you cannot talk to anyone about because anyone whose job is to help people through trauma may also be one of the people who wants to kill you. also you're a shapeshifter. like yeah ok i wonder why so many people who were obsessed with animorphs as a kid turned out to be queer
