Kitten Night Farts

it’s nov 5 and new johnlock just dropped babes

When looking for a gif of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law dancing as Holmes and Watson I fell down one hell of a rabbit hole.

First off I learned that if you want homoerotic tension you went to the right guys because you got an actual bi man who famously paired up with Spider-Man in a not so parental way ifyaknowwhatImean

And a guy who spent a good chunk of his early career playing dangerous twinks who ruin men’s lives because he’s too pretty.

And that made me realize that Jude Law is the most literal male translation of the “dangerous seductress” I’ve ever seen. Sort of how Chris Hemsworth is the best in business at playing the male version of a “dumb blond”

Hemsworth’s dumb blondes know they look good and that people tend to let them have their way because of it, but they don’t know how to use their good looks to manipulate others and are always in danger of being taken advantage of by people who desire them.

Not Jude Law’s characters. They know they look good, they know how to weaponize it and loudly signals “objectify me at your own risk”

Even in A.I. where he plays a literal sex toy/robot prostitute, who is programmed to not be able to defend himself and has no say in how he is used, he still manages to conspire against humans in the most passive way possible “They want to fuck me but they also hate me because they know robots will outlive humans”

His characters even get to experience the downsides of being a “dangerous seductress” that are usually reserved for women. In Mr. Ripley he gets murdered because how dare he lead people on and not put out? It was totally his own fault for being a sexy asshole.

And in The Young Pope he can hardly move a finger without everybody objectifying him despite him being asexual and the goddamn pope, and despite sometimes using it to his advantage he has also turned rather cold and cruel partly because of it. It’s no wonder that it’s a common trait for a lot of these characters that they recent the people who are attracted to them.

And I have noticed a trend. Straight male directors seem to hire beefcakes like Hemsworth when they need a character they think women should be attracted to, but hire Jude Law when they want an actor with a more androgynous aura they’d personally be willing fuck. He doesn’t get those roles quite as often anymore though as he has gotten older and less feminine to look at.

But anyway, Downey Jr. and Law, what a combo. The bi disaster and the twink who lost the good will of his patrons because he’s pushing 50. Quite the match.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows

I’m not sorry

This might be my new favorite thing ever

>>It’s not mine, credit to Sherlockspeare

Watson And Holmes Vol. 1: A Study In Black (2014)

“Watson, an Afghanistan war vet, works in an inner-city clinic; Holmes, a local P.I. who takes unusual cases. When one of them ends up in Watson’s emergency room, the unlikely duo strike up a partnership to find a missing girl. Watson & Holmes bump heads along the way as they enter a labyrinth of drugs, guns, gangs and a conspiracy that goes higher and deeper than they could have imagined.”

Story: Karl Bollers, art: Rick Leonardi 

Available at comixology

These are so good!!!

This is an amazing comic. If you get a chance you should read it. It’s Shelock and Watson in modern day Harlem. 

Missing shoulder.

fancast: dwayne “the rock” johnson as sherlock holmes w/vin diesel as watson

Ride or die, my dear Watson.

Fancasting for Unentitled Sherlock Holmes movie:

Idris Elba as Sherlock Holmes

Don Cheadle as Dr. Watson

Chiwetel Ejiofor as Professor Moriarty

The cats just looked at me funny. Apparently I made a noise that’s too high for human ears to hear.

Best scene.

And that’s the moment Sherlock realized how much he underestimated Molly Hooper.

This scene breaks my heart every time.

#while bbc sherlock is at the stage where sherlock and john are finally discovering their love for each other #the movies have flown straight past flirting and into husband land

Interviewer: Tell us about your relationship with Robert Downey Jr on set. Jude Law: Oh, I love him. I love him. Interviewer: Yeah? You had a bit of a bromance going on there. Jude Law: What is this new term everyone is using? Interviewer: Bromance? Jude Law: Oh, it’s a horrible term. What about just a romance? Interviewer: No, it’s not the same. Jude Law: Why not? Why? Interviewer: Cause then you’d have to star in a romantic comedy together or something. Jude Law: We just have. Have you not seen it? [x]

Jude Law does not have time for any of that ‘No Homo’ bullshit…

#lestrade’s least irritating officer is Lestrade

LESTRADE’S LEAST IRRITATING OFFICER IS LESTRADE.

LESTRADE’S LEAST IRRITATING OFFICER IS LESTRADE.

so mary wanted to escape her past and she tried to have a normal life and she married john and lied about her past to him and for a while they were happy together until mary’s past caught up to her

am i talking about sherlock or supernatural

Extra hints! Mary’s blonde and knows how to fight!

Another hint: John was in the military.

FOR THOSE DAYS WHEN YOU THINK “DAMN I COULD SURE USE A 2014 CALENDAR FULL OF A LOT OF ALMOST NAKED SHERLOCK CHARACTERS RIGHT ABOUT NOW”

PROBLEM SOLVED - BUY IT HERE

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Okay so, here’s the story. For the past few years some friends of mine made a habit of getting me one of those “Men of the Hawaiian Islands” calendars every time they visited Hawaii (one of them had a brother who worked there so she went often, I ended up with several of these). I hung them up at work and we’d giggle a lot at how ridiculous they were, all these oiled up sweaty hairless dudes with weird faces trying to play sexy.

Cut to a few weeks ago and suddenly two of them are like “hey we thought of an idea for you” and we ended up having a long conversation about calendars and some challenges were thrown around. And I ended up agreeing to do a naughty Sherlock calendar. But not a legit trying-to-be-sexy calendar. They all had to be glistening, look slightly uncomfortable, and have totally OOC bangin bodies.

I did my best and this is what happened. I hope you enjoy~