Kitten Night Farts

twitter user @ likewatercress speaks the truth

a certain type of (male) star wars fan really wants there to be a cool ladies man scoundrel in the franchise to idolize but there really isn’t… Anakin is a dedicated wife guy, Obi-Wan is a dedicated space monk. Han as mentioned above is immediately head-over-heels for Leia, Luke spends all his time pursuing the ways of the force. the sequels and even offshoot properties just don’t feature that kind of character - the Mandalorian is most concerned with being a dad, in my understanding

the only coherent thought i had today

oh my god IT’S TRUE

also much as i hate to mention the solo movie when chewie introduced han to the wookie they found in the mines his first reaction was to pat hans head like you would when you meet a new dog

To further the analogy of Han is the Dog, According to various canon sources, a Standard Human in the Star Wars universe has a life expectancy of roughly 100-120 years. A Wookie has a life expectancy of around 400 years. So, caring for Han for Han’s whole life is a commitment of less than a quarter of Chewie’s life. It’s like having a dog that lives to 20-22. A long term companion, but one you know you’re probably going to outlive.

When they kill your dog

oh my god

Shrek and Han Solo kinda dress the same

more of this very self-indulgent au

poe isnt like cassian who isnt like han who all aren’t suave flyboy womanizers and that’s #facts

#all of these men are goobers #handsome goobers but goobers nonetheless

so you know how the ‘a certain point of view’ novel posits that yoda wanted to train leia instead of luke… that could have been an interesting movie too

(patrons have early access to comics)

Choose an original trilogy character to be your partner in crime (x)

Every listicle about which Star Wars characters go in which Hogwarts houses is bullshit. They always make Leia a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor. Leia is a Slytherin. She was raised a princess but even that wasn’t enough for her, she was like “I’m gonna overthrow the government, bitches.”

And Han Solo is not a bad-ass Slytherin, he is a Hufflepuff, because every five minutes he is dropping his own agenda to help his friends not die doing whatever crazy shit they’re about to do.

The biggest Gryffindor in the whole trilogy is R2D2, because every beep of his can basically be translated as “Hold my beer and watch this,” usually followed by him getting zapped by something and falling over.

i was already reblogging, but R2-D2 made me laugh so hard. 

[x]

This is so special.

Honestly I agree with the theory that Kyle’s birth name is Ben Organa and that Han took Leia’s last name but I disagree that it’s just because Alderaan is matriarchal, like, A. you’d better believe Han would’ve taken Leia’s last name no matter how patriarchal her culture was, and 2. Solo is the name of a notorious criminal with all sorts of bounties on his head, but Organa is a name associated with royalty, meaning Han could show up in sweatpants at any restaurant in the republic and get a table for Han and Chewie Organa without a reservation

I love that Chewie is also an Organa, no questions asked. 

12 Times Han Solo Used The Force Without Knowing It

I need Han to accidentally be force strong, mostly because HE WOULD HATE THAT SO MUCH “Wow so you’re basically a self-taught Jedi” “WHAT–ARE YOU–I’M THE BEST PILOT IN–” “That’s force shit” “I’M AN EXCELLENT SHOT” “Yeah, because of the force” “I’M INCREDIBLY PERSUASIVE” “That’s the force making people believe your terrible lies against all reason ” “I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL”

I can picture his reaction now…

Originally posted by gameraboy

No, but this is:

Originally posted by sterkiller

Oh heck

George Lucas can pry Force Sensitive Han from my cold dead hands.

I love everything about this theory, but my favourite part of it by far is now utterly offended he’d be by the suggestion.

HOW DID I MISS THIS

2,187 is a lucky number. I assume they picked it on purpose, but guys. I am so excited by this idea. A mathematically lucky number is one that survives something like Eratosthenes sieve. It’s an algorithm to find prime numbers.

You find a prime and then you cancel out all the multiples of it. What you’re left with are primes. Occasionally a number that isn’t prime survives the process and is called “lucky.”

We all knew Finn was the inverted version of Leia in TFA. But they both survive things they shouldn’t have. They squeak by and survive a regime who reduces humanity to numbers and destroys individuality in the name of fascism and control. IDK. I just think this is so cool.

Star Wars | 2187

They picked it on purpose because it’s the title of a short film that inspired the original star wars. Still a cool addition though.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Tunnel Standoff Deleted Scene.

Han Solo, asking the important questions.

I’d like to thank space God and also fruit jesus

“Are you kids with my son? You look like you’re part of that dumb band he joined. What are you called again? The Face Order? The First Odors?”

Han please