Kitten Night Farts

Do you guys want to hear a really good idea I have for a production of Hamlet?

Heck yeah

in the words of the great Elizabethan wordsmith William Shakespeare, in Hamlet Act IV Scene V, “When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.” or, in the words of the great Twitter wordsmith @Horse_ebooks,

this is 1947 Cincinnati Enquirer erasure

please do not forget your smash mouth

tchaikowsky donating his skull to the royal shakespeare company in the hopes of becoming yorick is the most dramatic ass dark academia shit ever and you can’t convince me otherwise 

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS TRUE and you will not believe it that they never used on actual productions, only rehearsals because people got creeped out and didn’t want to use it, UNTIL DAVID TENNANT IN 2008

THAT MAD MAN ACTUALLY PERFORMED WITH THE REAL SKULL!

They had to stop using cause once the audience found out that was Tchaikovsky’s fucking bones(!) they got creeped out too and didn’t want it there, BUT DAVID JUST WENT “YEAH, LET ME HOLD THIS PIANIST’S FUCKING SKULL, WHO CARES”

Tchaikovsky DONATED IT FOR THAT PURPOSE. why did this creep anyone out? and why did they cave to the audience’s weird hangups?

some people are cowards

Cowards I’m not watching Hamlet unless there’s a real-ass skull in there

Let the man have his post-mortem stage time.

Man if you have the chance to recite Shakespeare to Tchaikovsky’s actual skull and you turn it down, I have already lost faith in your ability to embody Hamlet

Guys, guys I looked up the rest of the story and it turns out this isn’t the end of it:

They told everyone they stopped and then QUIETLY KEPT USING IT because OF COURSE they did.

in the words of the great Elizabethan wordsmith William Shakespeare, in Hamlet Act IV Scene V, “When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.” or, in the words of the great Twitter wordsmith @Horse_ebooks,

this is 1947 Cincinnati Enquirer erasure

please do not forget your smash mouth

© Andrej Dugin “Hamlet” Hamlet and Ophelia mixed media on paper, 38,4 x 48 cm

sparknotes social media part 2

(part one)

Oh god the first Mulaney one.

y’all im on the sparknotes twitter and i am losing my goddamn mind

Classic novels as Onion headlines (x)

AVENGE ME HAMLET FOR I WAS KILLED BY YOUR UNCLE, AND MY BROTHER 

Worth another reblog

I’d watch this production of Hamlet, no lie.

Emily Majarian

‘Ophelia’

For Month of Love 2018 “Blue”

There is a willow grows aslant a brook, That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream. There with fantastic garlands did she come Of crowflowers, nettles, daisies, and long purples, That liberal shepherds give a grosser name, But our cold maids do dead men’s fingers call them. There on the pendant boughs her coronet weeds Clamb'ring to hang, an envious sliver broke, When down her weedy trophies and herself Fell in the weeping brook. Her clothes spread wide And, mermaid-like, awhile they bore her up; Which time she chaunted snatches of old tunes, As one incapable of her own distress, Or like a creature native and indued Unto that element; but long it could not be Till that her garments, heavy with their drink, Pull’d the poor wretch from her melodious lay To muddy death. - Hamlet, Act IV Scene VII

How to turn Hamlet into a comedy: 

Adam Gopnik (via currentboat)

Adam Gopnik (via currentboat)

William Shakespeare’s Hamlet at the Wilma Theater in Philadelphia: Starring British Actress Zainab Jah as Hamlet

In the spring, the Wilma will stage back-to-back productions of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet and Tom Stoppard’s now classic behind-the-scenes comedy Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, both directed by Wilma Artistic Director Blanka Zizka and using essentially the same cast for both productions.  The title character in Shakespeare’s tragedy will be played by the powerful actress Zainab Jah, who appeared as Prudence in last season’s production of The Convert.

Prudence (Zainab Jah) enjoying a pipe and cup of tea at Chilford’s house in the world premiere production of The Convert by Danai Gurira, directed by Emily Mann 

The Wilma is excited to produce what many believe to be the greatest play written by Shakespeare, and many others consider the greatest play written in the English language.  The fight for the throne of Denmark, quest for moral righteousness, and complexities of vengeance within a 21st century context will be reexamined on our stage.

winemomhendrix, tamikaflynned, sting-like-jelly

Did you know that my choose-your-own-path version of Hamlet, To Be or Not To Be, is now available in game form on Steam, Android, and iOS?  YOU DID?  Well that’s awesome because it’s getting some great reviews; thank you for being aware of that.

Anyway I’ve got NINETEEN different download codes for iOS to give away!  So everyone who reblogs this will be entered into the RANDOM DRAW, and if you win I’ll send you a code that’ll get you the complete game for free.  Make sure your Tumblr is set up to accept messages from strangers, otherwise I won’t be able to contact you.

(iOS only, sorry!  We already gave away the Steam keys and don’t have any for Android, but if you have an iPhone or iPad and are wondering “gosh why did I spend so much money on this when functionally identical hardware could’ve been had for much cheaper”, MY FRIEND, TODAY IS THE DAY THAT CHOICE PAYS OFF)

vanderllyle please come scream with me