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#fred colon – @kittennightfarts on Tumblr

Kitten Night Farts

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‘War, Nobby. Huh! What is it good for?’ he said. ‘Dunno, Sarge. Freeing slaves, maybe?’ ‘Absol–well, okay.’ 'Defending yourself against a totalitarian aggressor?’ 'All right, I’ll grant you that, but–’ 'Saving civilization from a horde of–’ 'It doesn’t do any good in the long run is what I’m saying, Nobby, if you’d listen for five seconds together,’ said Fred Colon sharply. 'Yeah, but in the long run, what does, Sarge?’

Terry Pratchett, Thud! (p.50)

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Quotes from Thud! that are frighteningly apropos

— “Young dwarves listened to him, because he talked about history and destiny and all the other words that always got trotted out to put a gloss on slaughter.”

— Colon: I don’t know why they don’t get back to where they came from, if they want to do that! [fight] Nobby: Most of ‘em come from here now.

— “A wise ruler thinks twice before directing violence against someone because he does not approve of what they say.”

— “Or did you say, 'Well, I don’t agree with him of course, but he’s got a point’? Did you say, 'Oh he goes too far, but it’s about time somebody said it’?”

— “You couldn’t say 'We’re the good guys’ and do bad-guy things.”

Terry saw the writing on the wall. And he was angry. May his voice give us strength in terrifying times.

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They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. 

This book is dedicated to those fine men.

(art: William Bradford)

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