Kitten Night Farts

not to sound like a whore or anything but i really want to compare hand sizes with you

∞

I always see the first three panels and think “is this supposed to sound ridiculous? Bc I would love this”, completely forgetting about the last panel, which i then scroll down to and proceed to lose my shit

fewer bisexuals who are suave and seductive

more bisexuals who are incredibly awkward around their same-sex crushes b/c they were never taught how to flirt in gay

post cancelled, i’ve been made aware of the fact that none of you messy bi bitches capable of flirting in straight either

You’re completely correct.

it’s a gun

How to Flirt: A Guide, by Dr. Ross Geller.

Thanks American Girl!

if a guy is hitting on u and he is clearly the alpha in his group of guys.. go for the third in command and undermine their whole power structure

Oh god, I used this tactic so often. Because in most cases I was trying to pull dudes for my friends, rather than myself. You figure out who their leader is, go for #3 or #4 in the group, who is generally much cuter and a bit more shy. This is why he ranks high, but not too high. You go hard on this dude. You hold his hand and smile at him. You don’t even have to go further. Dude #3 is just bewildered you brushed off #1. This makes the dude at the top antsy. It causes dissent in the ranks. Your friends can now swoop in, picking from the remaining dudes as they start to scatter in the wind. They have lost all sense of self. You have secured free drinks for the rest of the night. And whatever else your genitals desire.

She broke that shit down so beautifully

me, with someone I have no interest in: lighthearted witty banter, often perceived by others as flirting.

me, with someone I’m interested in/actually trying to flirt with:

credit to ashy-bear

Yeah you’re fine af but do you believe in gender roles ?

Yeah I’d love to go out but what are your opinions on institutionalized racism?

Yeah, you can have my number, but what are your views on gay conversion therapy?

I mean you’re a cutie but I’m more concerned with your stance on the unconstitutional incarceration & negligent placement of youth…

Sure,you got a nice body, but what do you think of the of current day segregation and it’s effects on public educational funding from the government?

You may be amazingly attractive but are you aware of the material basis for oppression and the necessity/inevitability of Capitalism’s downfall?