Kitten Night Farts

real

Quick! Funniest reason for someone to become a villain

Has a crush on the hero and can't be normal about it

I really hated this girl in my class and we kept exchanging notes with various threats of violence on them but then on a Zoom call I saw that she kept a bunch of them pinned on her wall with little hearts around them and I got the biggest crush on her after that.

david and patrick are the enemies to friends to lovers trope except they were only enemies for 2 hours and david was the only one who thought they were enemies thanks for coming to my ted talk

#patrick: *perfectly polite conversation* #david: some GUY basically told me my BUSINESS is a FAILURE??????????

patrick: i’m just gonna ask you these questions on the form you have to fill out it’s my job david: who the fuck is this guy? who the fuck does he think he is?

#patrick: what’s your business plan?

#david: so i was the VICTIM of a HATE CRIME???????

#stevie: i have never met this man but i am almost certain that is not what happened

@dionysuswearsanorangetracksuit

im sorry but writing enemies to lovers on ao3 is so fucking funny. one of them will go a whole paragraph saying how much they hate, absolutely despise, have genuine burning contempt for the other and we’re all here knowing damn well that enemies to lovers tag is just sat there. like we already know what’s coming bro you’re just embarrassing yourself

the appeal of enemies to lovers though is less “oh will they ever get together?” and more “at what exact point does he go from wanting to kill the bitch to the oh in italics?”

miles “who’s morales” morales’s biggest weakness is the cover story

peter, lying out of his ass: i was, uh, married to his uncle aaron. he just never let you know

Jefferson, later: Do you think Aaron never told us because Peter’s…

Rio: …Tall

Jefferson: I didn’t think Aaron liked … Tall people.

Jefferson: “But listen: Aaron might have married a white boy just to annoy me, specifically. It’s a thing he would do!”

Rio: “I can’t hear you. I’m asleep.  I have a shift in four hours.”

I really wish there was a way Uncle Aaron lived and came back to meet his “husband” at some point now.

Aaron: …Miles…I love you, and I am proud of you…but you are somehow the smartest and dumbest boy I have ever known.

Miles: Says the man who used his big brain to become a criminal when he could’ve been a black Tony Stark with that gear he made. And thought working for the Kingpin, who everyone knows will throw his minions away like tissues, was a good idea!

Peter: He makes a good point, babe, you did kind of mess up first–

Aaron: Call me babe again and see what happens. I’ll whoop you with a collapsed lung.

All I see is “fake marriage au, but it’s also enemies to lovers”

If I ever stop reblogging this post, assume that I have yeeted myself off this mortal coil

Enemies to best friends to lovers is about the sexual tension multiplied by the yearning by a factor of 10!pining

Unmute !

Enemies to lovers speed run

a villain who commits crimes because they want to impress the hero and get their attention but they don't know how to flirt like a regular person

A music video I would break legs for to become a film