Kitten Night Farts

the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire

feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated

Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.

Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.

Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures

Pandorean task: some people fucked around and now it's your job to make sure they find out

All the weird misinterpretations and revisions of Russian history aside, Anastasia is one of my favourite movies because its plot structure is so fucking weird

It’s a period piece romance. That’s cool, that’s all well and good, except that on the sidelines there’s an undead warlock who’s trying so hard to kill the protagonist, but all in ways that the protagonist either doesn’t notice or doesn’t accept as supernatural

And it isn’t a twist! The audience knows about the warlock! The warlock has a villain song! The warlock is one of the principal characters! But the protagonist spends 95% of the movie completely unaware of the warlock, and just spends the entirety of the movie doing period piece romance things while being repeatedly inconvenienced by the warlock until the climax, when the protagonist has to very suddenly

I have never seen a movie with a plot structure like this before, and I don’t think I’ll see one like it ever again. It’s like an adaptation of Pride and Prejudice that turns Lady Catherine into a vampire who’s just repeatedly trying to drink Lizzy’s blood, but Lizzy doesn’t even notice until the climax whereupon she stuffs Lady Catherine’s mouth with garlic and cuts off her head (an adaptation I would kill to see, by the way). There are two completely different genres playing out at the same time, and one of them is trying to kill the other

Anyways that’s why the stage musical is bad, thank you and good night

The only thing I’m adding to this is that Disney’s Hercules has almost the same hero-villain dynamic in that the protagonist and antagonist think they are the heroes of two wildly different stories, and the protagonist doesn’t really know the antagonist exists until the endgame starts. It’s so fucking bizarre. They also both came out in 1997, and feature a red-headed protagonist who starts the story trying to find out who their parents are and falls in love with a shady brunette with dubious intentions who winds up trying to sacrifice themselves so the protagonist can live/be happy. I dunno what this means, but coincidence? I think NOT!

Listen that was just the vibe of 97 alright some shit went down that year

wait, wait, wait

you know what else came out that year

The Fifth Element

in which a red-headed protagonist is trying to save the world in a heroic manner with a shady cab driver

and the villain is, like, running guns? he might be in a heist and/or organized crime movie in his own head?

and again, the protagonist is completely unaware of the villain (she is aware of a DIFFERENT villain and thinks that is all she has to worry about) until he shows up with a big illegal gun

1997. huh.

I swear, it’s like the critics who are so gleeful in dragging The Witcher for its ‘silliness’ and ‘crazy tropes’ have all conveniently forgotten there’s a REASON why Hercules & Xena were so goddamn popular and ran as long as they did - 

PEOPLE LIKE SILLY FUN FANTASTICAL SHOWS ABOUT BISEXUAL GRUMPY PROTAGONISTS AND THEIR GAY SIDEKICKS/BFFS/SOULMATES RUNNING AROUND FIGHTING MONSTERS AND HAVING ADVENTURES

Let all of us enjoy this fun, ridiculous, awesome show in peace, ffs.

Hercules (1997) Zero to Hero

2020 has the same energy as that scene in Hercules where all the old people are gathered around the well casually discussing the various calamities befalling the city.

the first law of genderbent characters is sex appeal is neither created or destroyed! it’s so rude to use genderbent art as an excuse to make characters hot, those slobs! exist! for! a! reason!

why do this

when we could have these

(and actually while the bottom ones are better i’m still hella pissed about that button nose, HADES DOES NOT HAVE A BUTTON NOSE also give her a chin dammit)

so i was googling cerberus and during the labors of heracles the final labor assigned to him was to capture cerberus and instead of, like, stealing the dog he just went down to hades and asked if he could borrow his dog. and hades agreed like with the condition that he wouldn’t harm him and?? this is hilarious to me??? hades was so chill he was just like “yeah you can borrow my dog for your redemption quest just bring him back unharmed, alright?”

Hades is a good guy.

“Yo Hades can I borrow Spot for a bit”

“Yeah sure whatevs, a little fresh air’ll be good for him”

Cool

So, Disney storyboarded Hercules in live action with dancers. My mind is blown

Source

when my computer decides to deny me access because of “admin restrictions”

I remember posting somewhere once in a thread about why girls aren’t exploited in animation anymore where some guy said, “all the disney girls are drawn to be generally attractive, but I don’t think there are any eye-candy men… or are there? Are there any Disney men that lots of girls like?” and I mentioned Roger. Tons of girls replied agreeing with me and the original guy was like “wait, Roger? from 101 Dalmatians? What’s attractive about him, he’s tall and lanky and has a big nose, he isn’t muscley at all! Wouldn’t you all prefer Gaston or something? Or do you girls think his big nose is indicative of something else?” and I was like “no, you idiot, he’s a silly, goofy guy who likes animals and can play a bunch of instruments, that’s why he’s attractive. What’s the matter with you? Gaston, seriously?”

This is why we need more girls in animation. And more guys like Roger apparently. 

This is why I laugh my ass of whenever dudes talk about how men are “objectified” by the media too. Because 9 times out of 10, what men think is “women objectifying men” are characters like Gaston.

And Gaston is NOT a woman-driven fantasy. Gaston is a male wish fulfillment fantasy. Gaston is not what women want, he is what men want to be. He is hyper-masculinity to an extreme degree, dripping with sexism and testosterone. The fact that men think that Gaston is what women want says an awful lot about those men. 

While I don’t want to generalize, female fans tend to prefer a very different kind of male hero. We like the Rogers, the Milos, the Hercules. Genuinely kind, often awkward men who are sometimes vulnerable and respectful to women. 

Yes, this is a generalization. I own up to that. But I think it’s important to remember that there is often VERY big difference between what MEN want to be and what women WANT in our media. 

Reblogging this again because fucking this. And hell, even the muscley dudes (see: Khal Drogo, Hercules, Thor, Captain America) are loved, not because they are muscley, but because they are sweet and loving and adorable. We love Thor because his mispronounces “Hubble” as “Hooble,” not because of what he can do with a hammer.

Reblogging for the awesome comments.

I’m just here to say I love the animation of Roger so fucking much.  look how fucking smooth and graceful and agile he is. 2d animation is amazing and i just want to hug it

All of this. 

Okay, listen, to return briefly to the idea of Gaston: Beauty and the Beast is actually the first animated Disney screen play written by a woman. Linda Woolverton, the screenwriter, got a lot of attention for creating a self-proclaimed feminist heroine in 1991, but she also had a *lot* to say about Gaston. She didn’t stumble into that villain by mistake. She crafted him based on her own experiences with men and even her ex-boyfriends, and said: “To Gaston, Belle wasn’t a person; she was a possession. And I think it’s great for little boys to see that Beauty doesn’t choose him. Not only can they look at Gaston as an example of how not to treat women, but they can hopefully be taught by the Beast, a macho guy who is comfortable with his feelings and gentleness. He could teach a lot of men, in fact, about sensitivity.“

Not only is Gaston not a woman’s fantasy, he’s literally a woman’s horror story.

what they don’t teach you in meme history class

Hannah Alexander  -  http://neverbirddesigns.tumblr.com  -  https://www.etsy.com/shop/neverbirddesigns  -  http://www.redbubble.com/people/neverbird  -  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChouZJ5VI49OnRAMlYKZCXA  -  https://instagram.com/hannah_alexander24

PSA for short trans guys: Wolverine is 5'3" and he will physically fight your dysphoria for 1 can of beer

Another fun fact: In realities where Logan was NOT captured by Weapon X and brainwashed/given adamantium coated bones he is known as James Howlett; an openly gay badass of a man who gallivants about with his lover Hercules. 

With his lover WHO?

hercules, the god

main universe logan is bi and has a thing with him too

also heres gay hercules holding his gay woverine and our bi wolverine 

look how happy he is

that’s this meme hercules? that I’ve been seeing since like the inception of internet 2.0?

I remember posting somewhere once in a thread about why girls aren’t exploited in animation anymore where some guy said, “all the disney girls are drawn to be generally attractive, but I don’t think there are any eye-candy men… or are there? Are there any Disney men that lots of girls like?” and I mentioned Roger. Tons of girls replied agreeing with me and the original guy was like “wait, Roger? from 101 Dalmatians? What’s attractive about him, he’s tall and lanky and has a big nose, he isn’t muscley at all! Wouldn’t you all prefer Gaston or something? Or do you girls think his big nose is indicative of something else?” and I was like “no, you idiot, he’s a silly, goofy guy who likes animals and can play a bunch of instruments, that’s why he’s attractive. What’s the matter with you? Gaston, seriously?”

This is why we need more girls in animation. And more guys like Roger apparently. 

This is why I laugh my ass of whenever dudes talk about how men are “objectified” by the media too. Because 9 times out of 10, what men think is “women objectifying men” are characters like Gaston.

And Gaston is NOT a woman-driven fantasy. Gaston is a male wish fulfillment fantasy. Gaston is not what women want, he is what men want to be. He is hyper-masculinity to an extreme degree, dripping with sexism and testosterone. The fact that men think that Gaston is what women want says an awful lot about those men. 

While I don’t want to generalize, female fans tend to prefer a very different kind of male hero. We like the Rogers, the Milos, the Hercules. Genuinely kind, often awkward men who are sometimes vulnerable and respectful to women. 

Yes, this is a generalization. I own up to that. But I think it’s important to remember that there is often VERY big difference between what MEN want to be and what women WANT in our media. 

Reblogging this again because fucking this. And hell, even the muscley dudes (see: Khal Drogo, Hercules, Thor, Captain America) are loved, not because they are muscley, but because they are sweet and loving and adorable. We love Thor because his mispronounces “Hubble” as “Hooble,” not because of what he can do with a hammer.

Reblogging for the awesome comments.

when my computer decides to deny me access because of “admin restrictions”