"YOU ABSOLUTE ANUS. YOU PRIZE ANUS"

Jason Statham jousts a giant shark. By the time you get to this part it's barely a blip on the radar of ridiculous things happening throughout the movie. Five stars

Thinking back to the good early days before my skin grew back when people could shake their heads at me and say "masks are a government conspiracy" and instead of navigating the bullshit like a normal person I could pull mine down and say "I have chemical burns on my face"

things people expect in a political confrontation:

Things they are never prepared for:

This post: "Thinking back to the good early days before my skin grew back"

Me: off to a compelling start

Some screenshots taken from Captain Marvel’s Official Website

(Click to enlarge)

Aka men on the bachelor have no taste

I don’t know what generic ass white man they had on but she was too good for him anyway

no but you don’t get it, the reason for the sloth costume is that the bachelors big thing about him is he’s a virgin (i know it’s ridiculous). so she comes out of this god damn limo slowly flailing about and goes, “heeeeeellllooooooo. i heeeeeaaaaard yoooooou liiiiiiiike tooooo taaaaaake iiiiit slooooooooooooooooow” and it was the best thing i’ve ever seen on the bachelor and he definitely didnt deserve her

I’ve watched this like 30 times and I cant stop laughing aksjska

the girl has big dick energy

she stole all of his dick energy and killed him

THIS SHOW IS SO PURE!

It’s worth noting that Kenneth spent the entire episode making the game (and the subsequent fight) as inclusive as possible for JJ and his disabled friends (all of whom were played by disabled actors/actresses).

BONUS:

Bonus #2

Of course I had to show the best part:

Medusa - Milt Kahl

Black Panther (2018)

Caterpillar rave!

fucking christ I am sobbing

“If the men find out we can shapeshift, they’re going to tell the church!“

i didnt learn anything about contouring but that’s okay

i’m 101% sure that this entire line was improv and tom couldn’t help it

list of heroes

the woman who dated 40+ guys, got them to buy her iphones, and then sold them to buy a house

the woman who traded one singular rick and morty sauce for a car

don’t forget the woman who charged a bunch of dudes money to attend an orgy but never promised any women would be there so they all just showed up to find nothing but men

The girl on Tinder whose profile said “send me $5 and see what happens” and after they sent her money she blocked them

The girl that got her friend’s boyfriend to order her a pizza and have it delivered to her house after she caught him cheating on her, then ratted him out as soon as she got her pizza 

if you think shrek 3 sucks think again