“I’m almost 50, and here is the best thing I have learned so far: every strange thing you’ve ever been into, every failed hobby or forgotten instrument, everything you have ever learned will come back to you, will serve you when you need it. No love, however brief, is wasted.” @louisethebaker on Twitter
i got the job
Litany against unemployment.
Reblogging magic coffee.
it is by will alone i set the job in motion
By the juice of coffee thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning
Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.
This reminds me of the blood river in Antarctica. For like a century scientists had no clue why this river looked like, acted like, and felt exactly like blood. Turns out it’s just really high in iron.
"Blood River in Antartica" yeah right there's no way a river looks like bl-
...nevermind
Blood Falls isn't just high in iron, it's the byproducts of extremophile bacteria that have been isolated under a glacier in a iron- and sulfur-rich anoxic brine for the past 5 million years.
this image is beautiful to me it is holy, this should be in a gallery
"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen
not now sweetie mommy’s blogging about something that 5 people care about
Remember when you had energy to do things? Those were some wild times
shoutout to neopets economics
if i were rich id commission people who struggle or dont get many of them just to see them happy argh
what farming items in mmorpgs has taught me: i used to think using ice trays to make ice cubes was free but after thinking about it i have to pay the electric bill to power the freezer so every moment that i’m not freezing new trays of ice cubes is a moment that i’m underutilizing the freezer and increasing the cost of ice cubes. i have to constantly swap out ice trays for new ice cubes on an hourly rotation on a 24 hour basis or else i won’t produce the maximum amount of ice cubes possible and will underutilize the full potential of my electric bill. i need to stop using all other appliances and utilities in my home to make more ice cubes
having a big influx of followers in the middle of a big influx of bot accounts is so stressful i'm like pointing a gun at everybody in my notes like "SAY SOMETHING ONLY THE REAL NEW FOLLOWER WOULD SAY!!!!!!"
You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry
you know when you see those gross cooking videos where a lady is dumping baked beans onto a countertop and mixing in cheese with her bare hands or something, and it's obviously meant to spark engagement and outrage. and people will always say "don't interact with these video; this is just fetish content"
i think a good way to have piece of mind online is to apply that same mindset to more things.
you saw a really bad take online? that person just has a degradation kink and they're waiting for someone to call them out. if you don't want to participate in their kink, leave them alone.
some people can only get off by being wrong. it doesn't have to affect your day.
Been saying this for years. Anytime you see something begging you to respond to it, ask why.
Beyond the human reasons of someone wanting a fight or some other kind of emotional satisfaction, it's usually because the more interactions a piece of content has, the more advertising dollars it makes, or the more traffic is driven to that account's other posts.
"Bet you can't name an American state that has a Z in it!" -- everyone rushes to answer "Arizona" and suddenly a completely inane Facebook account has ten thousand comments (and the account holder can then sell this high-traffic page to someone else to be rebranded).
Any of those allegedly cute animal videos where it's clear someone has put an animal in a distressing situation just to show themselves helping it -- yeah, it's exploitative, and the way the exploitation happens is by enticing you to comment and denounce the content.
A video on TikTok with a caption like "you'll be amazed at what these zebras are eating" -- I was about to click and say "dude, those are hyenas, not zebras" and then realized that's exactly why they put that error there.
Especially with the outrage driven posts, it relies on your need to Not Walk On By when you see something wrong. Remember that if it's internet content you are literally doing no good by interacting with it and in many cases you are becoming the instrument of exploitation or harm.
Take the apps off your phone and touch some grass, and recalibrate your brain's idea of what is a normal amount of distress and pain and stupidity and grossness to be exposed to.
This falls under "don't feed the trolls."
Sometimes the trolls are not people declaring fandom hot takes and angry controversy. Sometimes they're just telling you how smooth the sharks are.
Here's a little peek behind the curtain on those disgusting food videos where a white woman is standing in a very expensive looking kitchen making the most unhinged meal known to man. It's 100% on purpose and frequently directed by former magician and public spectacle enthusiast Rick Lax. He's like a modern day PT Barnum in this way.
You know those mobile ads showing a shitty game where the person playing it is just fucking up an easy puzzle really, really badly? One that you would solve immediately if you had the game, and boy do you want to go and do it PROPERLY? These controversy farmers are banking on the same urge. Just imagine they're all trying to pull you into a shitty mobile game.
basically, modern advertising works like this:
"You're not the main character" also applies to thinking that you're so uniquely horrible that everyone you meet is deeply invested in judging and hating you. That's just as much of a cognitive distortion as believing that you're the center of everyone's admiration. I promise you that other people got their own lives to live and their own struggles and flaws to cope with.
i hate concert ticket prices why can’t i just get a free ticket for liking a band so much
(via @yourguyeli)
When i was a teachers assistant(first grade), i would add extra points for doodles and drawings when i was grading papers. Obviously, these points didnt go in the grade book. I called them Miss Rachel points. But the kids loved it and started doing more complex drawings on the back of their homework to get more points. I had a parent tell me that her daughter got excited to finish her homework so she could do a new drawing for me, so teachers, of literally any grade, give the drawings some acknowledgment. Its a creative outlet that may motivate your students to do their homework but more importantly, it could be someone's escape and you just writing "nice panda" next to their drawing will make them feel so special.
I like to wear bandaids on my boo boos cause that shows the ladies that yeah I am rugged but I also am cautious about infection
