Yet Improving

Banana Shenanigans. Bananigans.

“ Okmulgee, Oklahoma fire crews say they had a bizarre lightning strike call at the Oxford Apartments overnight. They say lightning came through the vent in the roof and struck the toilet, shattering it.“

I will accept precisely one form of toilet humour and it is jokes about these three pictures.

WHYD IT HAVE TO BE THE FUCKING LIGHTNING TOILET TWEET, TUMBLR

AMONG ALL MY POSTS, WHY WAS THIS THE POST YOU LOOKED AT AND DECIDED “OKAY, LET’S MAKE THAT GO VIRAL”

Thinking about that day another park ranger and I discovered that

1. we both used the same shampoo and

2. Suave Essentials Tropical Coconut drives honeybees absolutely bugfuck wild

3. He's allergic to bees

It’s likely the scent! Banana scent (Isoamyl acetate) is the same scent as the aggression pheromone bees put out when they’re angry. Never eat bananas near bees! Always check your lotion, sunscreen, etc bottles for banana scent or isoamyl acetate before going near bees

So you're telling me that when bees get mad they start violently smelling like bananas?

Can confirm! In (hopefully) very rare cases, a large hive full of pissed off bees smells a lot like bananas! Usually there’s not nearly enough of them for humans to be able to smell it, though.

@cyber-flow thank you for the funniest tags I've seen all day.

I thought this was an animatronic at first but apparently it’s real lol

Between their strange politeness (bowing) and the noises they make, my co-author @dollypegs-blog and I kind of wrapped them up in our concept of the Raphcuctus birds.  Here’s one of the noises:

D-Dinosaur. That’s a dinosaur. Yup.

that is a fucking dinosaur

During dinner, my uncle revealed another weird autobiographical story. We were talking about the chemistry of bananas, and I brought up the fact that isoamyl acetate, responsible for the distinctive scent and flavor of banana, is the same chemical that’s found in honey bee attack pheromones.

My uncle explained that isoamyl acetate is used when testing the safety of gas masks. They make small glass vials in cardboard tubes that you can crush in an enclosed space, and if you smell banana while wearing a gas mask, there’s a leak. Apparently, he used to buy dozens of these little vials, and then go somewhere in public to covertly smash them, just to watch people try to figure out where the intense banana smell was coming from.

No reason. Just for the hell of it.

is this the same fucking uncle that has to wear the huge shoes and said bananas make his throats feel tingly

yes

this is so funny

THIS IS SOMETHING I WOULD DO

The fucking water tho

HAHA

THE NOISE HE MAKES

laptopped:

omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

We are eating the shadowy remnants of a dead species.

In the interest of accuracy, while it was a fungal plague that pulled the trigger, the real cause of the Gros Michel’s near-extinction was massive inbreeding.

Y’see, folks were very picky about their bananas - they wanted every banana to taste exactly the same. So the big banana producers all started growing the same cultivar - the Gros Michel - and they deliberately inbred that sucker until every banana they picked was essentially identical to every other.

The upshot is that all commercially cultivated bananas suffered from the same weakened immune system, and when a fungal pathogen that could kill one Gros Michel banana plant evolved, it promptly killed all of them.

And the punchline? The banana producers didn’t learn a blessed thing from all this. Instead of diversifying their banana crops, they switched to a new cultivar, the Cavendish, en masse - and today’s Cavendishes are just as inbred as the Gros Michel was back in the day.

Indeed, a second “banana apocalypse” is brewing as we speak; in 2008, a new strain of the same fungus that wiped out the Gros Michel, one that’s capable of attacking the Cavendish, struck banana crops in Malaysia - and in spite of our best efforts to contain it, it’s spreading. According to some estimates, if banana production isn’t diversified soon, the Cavendish could follow the Gros Michel into commercial extinction in as little as ten years.

Isn’t history fun?

my brother tried to pick up a banana to make it look like he was talking on the phone but all the bananas in the bunch came with it and he just looked at me and went “i guess it’s a conference call”

A++ recovery

don’t encourage him

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS EXPECTING BUT IT WASN’T THAT

*picks up banana* hello

your son. he is dead

just received some truly devastating news