I just opened up a check in the mail, went to the ATM & found 20$ 😭 I’m not passing these shits up NO more on my mama!

Even if I do not receive money or good news, I did smile at seeing this smiling Buddha.

reblog the shiny lucky eevee for good luck this week

me talking about dbh

*SLAMS REBLOG BUTTON*

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

Irish recipes:

Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.

NSFW ban fail

Reblog if you’re still seeing porn bots despite the NSFW ban. I’m still seeing them. Plenty of legitimate followers seem to be blocked from my feed, however.

I just got 2 more today 9n6 and it isn’t even the evening yet.

If you’re reading this I hope in 2019 you get

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.

who the fuck is Madame Zeroni

Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is

Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button

Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her

idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

Because wise, I am.

Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys

2 million people aren’t wrong

My paranoia is too big to ignore this ffs

Fuck you I’ll reblog it cuz it’s an elephant strawberry I need no other reason

YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

one day this comic will reach a million notes and then i’m going to quit my job and become a couch

Reblog to help OP realise their couch dreams!

“Alright I think it’s time I do V’s route.”

“…”

「GOLD REVOLUTION」by Style Five 

Free!: Dive to the Future - episode 1

by しらたき