Embark on a legendary mission. The Right Stuff, an Original Series from NatGeo, launches Oct. 9 on DisneyPlus with two episodes. #TheRightStuffSeries

LUNCHTIIIIME!!!!

I’m having a tuna sammy, what are y’all up to?

I’m also gonna start some lunchtime faux fun drama by declaring that captain floor is old news and never true love...

Captain cloak is where it’s truly at. Dude loves his extra af phantom of the opera disguises to shy him away in the shadows.

If I had gifs at hand I’d state my case 😝

For the last time, man, CAPTAIN CLAW IS ETERNAL AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS INFERIOR. 

BY GOD, I THINK YOU’RE RIGHT

WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY GOING ON OVER HERE?!?!?!?!?

EXCUSE?!?!?!

there is no excuse for this

Do you really want to do the Floor so wrong?

You have so many... breakable... parts...

CAN YOU AFFORD TO ANGER THE FLOOR?!?!?!

think about it

old diving suit

N O P E

...and suddenly, Killian’s diving suit seems downright sexy.

To all the Tumblr users who tend to use tags very liberally:

Let’s play a game. Type the following words into your tags box, then post the first automatic tag that comes up. you, also, what, when, why, how, look, because, never

in which Emma and Hook swap hair

Me seeing this post for the first time:

“Oh, wow, that’s a different look for Je- OH MY GOD MY EYEBALLS NO”

Lonely Rogers

I forgot this was in my drafts.

His hook didn’t hold the both of them. He pushed it into the wood of the table, but it did them no good.

It detached from his brace, and with the both of them being closer to her portal, it sucked them both in.

She opened her eyes and saw the room of her tower. It was now dark, wet, with half the walls missing.

It was there, in her old, nearly destroyed prison where his heart gave out.

He died in her arms, and she still couldn’t leave.

And then she knew this was her worst nightmare coming true.

...How dare you.

Hit Me With Your Breast Shot

I cannot believe I just wrote this, but I did.

AO3 Link

Summary: In a world where breasts have grown so large that they threaten the existence of all Storybrooke, Belle and Regina face off in the final battle that Rumple predicted all along, though it’s not exactly what anyone expected from what used to be a family friendly show.

“You don’t have to do this, Belle. We can find another way, I’m sure of it. I am the Dark One, after all. I have the power of all of the Dark Ones,” Rumple said from his spot underneath Belle’s enormous bosoms. It was rather dark, but comforting, like being in the womb or in a soft warm cocoon.

“No, Rumple.” Belle said sharply.  "We’ve let Regina’s cleavage reign for far too long, and now that I’m about to bring a child into this world, I can’t sit idly by. It was bad enough that we stood by and let her hooters destroy Charming and Snow, even if she claimed it was an accident. She has Robin and Emma under the thrall of her boobage.“ Belle shuddered as she remembered seeing her friend and the Saviour succumb to the ecstasies of Regina’s magically enlarged chest. No one had seen them since. Mostly because a quarter of Storybrooke was now covered by the twin mounds attached to Regina’s front. “We can’t let Henry be trapped in this hell.”

“But you’ve never gone up against Regina, my dear. I don’t want you to be hurt. I saw the future, I saw that there would be a final battle, but Belle, I never saw what happened. I never saw who won.” And, Rumple thought to himself, I sure as hell didn’t see that it was going to be a battle where two women used the power of their breasts to fight one another. i really feel like that was a key component that should’ve showed up in those visions.

“These breasts were made for more than milking, Rumple. They will be my sword and my shield.” Belle stepped forth from her spot between the library and the pawnshop; her cleavage had already swallowed a portion of the town that Regina’s had not. Unlike Regina, however, Belle was providing respite to those covered by her breasts. Rumple had used his magic to create a constant airflow so that no one would suffocate. Though he considered cutting off Dr. Whale’s supply. The doctor was enjoying the situation far too much.  "It’s my turn to brave,“ she said calmly. “REGINA!” she shouted, calling out the Evil Queen. “Face me!”

There was a puff of purple smoke, and then there she was–the Evil Queen, her wondrously curved mammary glands on full display as they crushed the chairs in front of Granny’s diner. The nipples had black spikes attached, the better to skewer the lesser-endowed. “Are you sure you can handle me, Belle? You’re no Evil Queen, and I know Rumple can’t help you from under there.”

“I have twice the heart you’ve ever had, Regina, and twice the breast to keep it in!” Belle declared. She swung her left teat towards Regina, who tried to block with her own corresponding jugs, but a nipple spike was stuck in the fence next to Granny’s, and she was unable to block the onslaught. Too late, she slipped her nipple free, and Regina felt the full force of Belle’s Humpty Dumplings. She fell to the ground.

“Regina, I will keep fighting you until you give up these ridiculous knockers. No one needs boobs this big!”

“You’re wrong, Belle. And even if I wanted to give them up…I can’t. I used the last of my magic to enlarge and enchant them,” Regina said from her spot on the ground. She stood up and began to tuck her tits back into her clothes. “But look. Look into my cleavage. Isn’t it nice?”

Belle started to look. Regina did have great cleavage. It was kind of amazing that it fit into her corset when she wasn’t using it as a weapon.

“Belle, don’t listen to her! It’s a trick!” Rumple shouted from Belle’s own yabbos.  It was just enough to jolt Belle from Regina’s enchantment.

“Oh no you don’t, Regina,” she said, stepping back from the Evil Queen’s bazoogas.  "I’m not letting you turn this town into Storyboob,“ Belle declared. From the safety of their cover behind Belle’s Grand Tetons, Whale, Leroy, Mulan, and several other Storybrooke residents cheered her on.

Regina began to back up, but it was too late; Belle pulled both of her chest puppies back, then, with super-sonic speed, crushed Regina between them. The resulting motorboat-like vibrations shook Regina senseless, and effectively shook all of her magic abilities out of her; Regina’s cleavage returned to a more normal size. As the black nipple spikes fell off because they no longer fit, both Emma and Robin crawled out from under her, still somewhat dazed. The size of Belle’s boobs remained the same, but now that no one needed to hide from Regina, a number of people spilled forth from her bosom, including Rumple.

“You did it, Belle! You saved the town! You’re a true hero!” Rumple cried, joyful and relieved.

From inside the diner, Henry punched “Simply the Best” on the Jukebox, and as an ambulance came to take Regina to the hospital, the remaining town residents began an impromptu singalong, with a slight word change: “You’re simply the breast!” they all sang.

Nominating this for every TEA possible.

I hope boob!anon appreciates this.

I defer all the internets to the wonderful author of this masterpiece.

Because I can’t talk about Umbrellagate without bringing back the Belle’s Boobies anon because they happened around the same time…

Oh. My. God.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

Does this Nonny not realize that Pip is just another fan? She makes a lot of great GIFs, yeah, but she’s not (and as far as I know has never claimed to be) some kind of gate-keeper or DM of the GIF-making community or something.

She’s just another fan.

As such, yeah, her opinion is valid and important, sure... but no more or less important than any other fan’s. Like @thesschesthair‘s. Or mine. And I patently disagree with her. Making GIFs isn’t a competition, so there’s no such thing as “cheating” at them. My opinion doesn’t make Pip’s any less valid... and her opinion doesn’t make mine (or those who agree with it) invalid.

Seriously, some of these Anons out there are reaching all new levels of completely unhealthy obsession... not only with the show, the characters and the ships... but now with other fans, too. Maybe take a step back, Nonny. Take a walk outside. Make some friends. Find some balance.

Welp... I don’t need to check my stocks this morning, because I see DAFUQ is already sky high.

I don’t care if people make their GIFs out of fucking psychic visions a week before the show airs, if they fucking look good, who the fuck cares.

And who cares about being first?! Does anyone on this hellsite actually look at a GIF set and go, “Oh, gee, I already reblogged that other person’s GIFs of this exact same scene, I think I’ll skip these.” It’s more like “YEAH, THIS SCENE! YEAH, I HAVE FIFTEEN NEARLY IDENTICAL GIF SETS OF THIS SCENE ALREADY, BUT THIS LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER GREAT ONE, LET’S GO”

GIFs are like Pokemon, bitch. GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL.

Gonna buy this lovely doll for @killian-whump.

I think she’ll love it.

YOU NEED TO BE STOPPPPPPPPPPPED

You know… i’m rewatching this lovable numpty hold a sword like a crowbar behind emma, giggling at how sweet his attempts at preparing to fight are, but it always makes me incredibly sad too.

Cos this is probably the first fucking time in his unfortunate life he’s ever stood up for himself or been able to do the right thing.

And i’m sure it’s because of what Emma told him.

I mean, how miserable must his life have been? How empty and shitty must it be, that he’s willingly jumping onto the blade so to speak, to give this strange woman and her son a fighting chance…. because somewhere else he’s living a life where he’s a brave captain of his own ship and an expert swordsman with a fiery heroic woman to love- he’s gladly throwing this life away because somewhere out there he’s living one he’s probably always dreamed of.

He’s only got her word to go on. The word of a ‘mad woman’ he’s just helped break out of prison. 

He could have turned in that moment, said “i’m sorry” and got the fuck outta there instead of facing the fearsome evil Snow.

There were probably countless times he could have been brave, stood up for himself or the right thing… and he never ever did. 

But yet all it took was hearing that somewhere out there he was living the way he always probably wanted to and that was enough for him. He was giving up everything he was on the word of a stranger, and Deckhand Hook was ready to die because anything was better than this… even the possibility of a version of him in a different reality. 

Look. He’s just accepted it. 

It just breaks my fucking heart.

OK but the promo pictures are just scenery shots….

Like, legit close ups of trees and shit.

HOW IS THIS A PROMO SHOT TO INDICATE WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE EPISODE?

I feel like they’ve accidentally uploaded google landscape stock photos.

Me, looking at the promo shots:

“Where dat?”

“Who dat?”

“Where the fuck is dis?”

“Oh, I know him.”

“Who the fuck is with him?”

“Is that a Baelfire? There’s like eleventy thousand of them.”

“Where the fuck are we now?”

“I know a version of him.”

“I AM SO CONFUSED.”

theduststormfilm: The Dust Storm is now available on ITunes, Amazon, GooglePlay, Xbox, Vimeo On Demand, PlayStation and Vudu. Click on the link in the bio and enjoy! (x)