OH NO
You guys, it's loving Colin O'Donoghue time again...
killian-whump reblogged
Anonymous asked:
your portrayal of mpreg jesus is seriously laughable. you really think he would suddenly start developing seahorse mannerisms as early as in the first trimester? give me a break. everyone knows you're just projecting because youre a furry. can't wait to read the next chapter though! :)
Congratulations! this is the funniest ask I’ve ever received. Please don’t tell me what seahorse mannerisms are
Can't get this on any other website, folks!
killian-whump reblogged
Every Episode of Killian Jones [Once Upon A Time]
killian-whump reblogged
And a warm welcome to @mischievousgraxaim aka Pan-san inside the san-cocnut club lol
WELCOME TO THE CLUB, PAN-SAN 😂😂😂
killian-whump reblogged
I've been thinking, trying to get into the mind of a t*rf and try and understand why they think the way they think.
And one of the things I found the hardest to understand was their obsession with vaginas and them defining themselves by them. I was like... from their nature, vaginas have one (1) role: procreation. They're there for semen to get inserted through and for a baby to pop out later. And y'all are pro choice and hate the patriarchy for (among other things) enforcing the idea that all women should be mothers and yet...
And then I realized my asexual ass was back at it again. They don't obsess over vaginas because of procreation. They obsess over them because of the other function they can have: sexual satisfaction.
Now why they obsess over periods beats me. Idk why you are proud to be defined by something that pains and inconveniences you, that makes society hate you, that you might not want yet are unable to get rid of, but I prefer to simply tolerate it as part of my existence instead of defining myself by an undesirable burden I never chose.
So... I wrote a fucking book in response to this, and then afterwards realized I should’ve just reblogged my response like a normal person.
Mind you, I don’t normally discuss social issues or politics on this blog, and I don’t intend to change that. But the simple fact that you’re TRYING to get into the mind of folks you disagree so you can understand where they’re coming from is so FUCKING EXCITING to me that it just gets me going.
Because I don’t think anyone can successfully argue/debate ANY issue until they try to do exactly that - and succeed in doing so. Yet, no one usually even TRIES it, let alone succeeds, and thus most social/political arguments just end up being both sides shouting the same tired nonsense at each other ad nauseum with no one getting anywhere. Once you start seeing where each side is coming from and how they’re absolutely failing at getting their points across (whilst purposely failing to understand anything their opponents say), you quickly start to lose interest in... well, all of it. None of it fucking matters. It’s all people shouting at each other without ever listening to anyone else; all the decisions that matter won’t be made by any of these people, but by those in power - who will make their decisions based on whatever choices will put more money in their pockets and/or the pockets of the people who pay them.
ANYWAY!! Here’s my reply, with a couple things added:
The whole concept of "pride" in anything *innate* is so weird to me. I understand being proud of accomplishments. You worked hard on something, you accomplished a goal, you feel pride in what you've done/created/achieved. I get that. But pride over things you're born with is just... it's stupid to me, no matter what it's for. Existence itself isn't something to take pride in. Continuing to exist in spite of hardships, oppression or genocide certainly is, of course, but last I checked having a functioning vagina didn’t really apply there.
And there's a very thin line between "pride" and "supremacy" anyway. I feel like I can understand some of the TERF mentality through the lens of Female Supremacy. Men are men. Women are women. Everything male is less; everything female is more. It’s just the way it is. But that's essentially a fantasy mindset - one that’s fun to pick up for sexy femdom funtimes or playful banter, but not for realsies. In reality, it’s nothing more than misandry. Still, it IS where some of them are coming from, like it or not.
That said, I think a lot of the issues between TERFs and TRAs comes from the overly wide "spectrum" of identities that now fall under the "trans" label. It once only applied to those actively living as the opposite sex (or intending/desiring to). Now it includes a lot more people - including those who live as both/neither sex, those who are unsure, and those who dress as the opposite sex for purposes of sexual titillation.
I think there are a lot of things that are (and should be) supported when it comes to those living as women (ie unquestioned access to women's facilities) that unfortunately have to be considered a lot more carefully when you have a surprisingly large number of fetishists out there who will absolutely take advantage of it for their own jollies. And I’m not saying this as someone who’s even remotely transphobic. I’m saying this as someone who has spent 20+ years in the kink community and has seen first hand (a) just how common/prevalent this fetish is and (b) just how few fucks fetishists can give about involving others non-consensually when acting out their fantasies.
Mind you, I don't see how on earth there could even BE a fight between sensible people on this issue. BOTH "sides" should be adamantly against fetishists piggy-backing on the transgender movement. It both cheapens the movement (not to mention gender dysmorphia itself) AND puts women (both cis and trans!) at risk. Why isn’t EVERYONE mad about this?! Why aren’t we all on the same fucking page here? I honestly don’t get it.
But extremists on one side want to paint ALL trans people as being fetishists, while extremists on the other side want to either pretend the fetishists don't exist or (worse) claim it's actually okay for them to enact their fantasies in public with non-consenting parties. All of these approaches are downright stupid. We all know most trans folks aren’t fetishists, but that doesn’t mean the fetishists aren’t out there - and hell no, it is NOT okay. Anyone who’s spent more than 10 minutes in the kink community knows it is NEVER okay to involve unwilling / unwitting participants in your sexual activities, no matter how innocuous those activities may seem to you (or even are).
There’s also the issue of gendered sports and how trans individuals should be handled within that arena. I don’t have any opinion on THAT issue, chiefly because I have no fucking clue how it should be handled. I do, however, think it’s a topic worthy of discussion and full of valid points and concerns on all sides.
Anyway, that’s where I see the bases lying for the TERF viewpoints. BUT! As always, the stance has now been co-opted by extremists - in this case, transphobes and haters. You can’t assume that any given TERF has a sound basis for whatever it is they’re thinking. Some of ‘em are just assholes who wanna hate on trans people. Or men. Or both.
killian-whump reblogged
The Darkness || @csjanuaryjoy
my take on how the darkness works. it didn’t tun out how I imagined but it’s still pretty close :) big thanks for @captain-emmajones who supported me a lot and to all discord ladies who helped!
I love how Emma’s like, “WTF DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING” and Killian’s just like “Well, this is pretty much what I expected, can’t say I’m surprised.”
Meanwhile, the Darkness is like, “Heavenly fur right here, feel this, fellow denizens of the dark, it’s super soft.” “oh my god you’re right” “LET ME FEEL”
killian-whump reblogged
Well here's a photo I've never seen before...
Mmm, whumpy.
killian-whump reblogged
Anonymous asked:
i know that like if we want the rewards of being loved we must submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known but like what are the rewards of being loved? are they really worth all that? you talk of love and loving often and sometimes im so in your corner but other times it just makes me angry. is it really all that great?
This ask has been in my inbox for a number of days now, and honestly, every time I try and contemplate what it’s asking my mind stalls. “What are the rewards of being loved?” reads like like asking what kind of cheese the moon is made of, or how much dark there is before the dawn. It’s definitely a question! Theoretically it has an answer! But what kind of answer can I give that will make sense, since apparently....the reward of being loved isn’t being loved.
I mean, in the original essay, the one that gave birth to the meme, the trigger for “being known” is not really all that mortifying. Timothy Kreider emailed his friends about a herd of goats he was renting. Someone accidentally replied-all “oof,” which inspired the reflection about the gap between how we imagine people see us (charmingly off-beat renter of goats, perfect) and how we are actually known by the people in our lives (someone who fritters away their income renting a herd of goats for no discernible reason.) Kreider concludes that this actually isn’t a gap at all---we are all fully capable of loving people profoundly while still seeing their faults, finding things they do annoying, and commiserating with mutual friends about that person’s quirks.
I as an individual might like to think I am exempt from this, that I am dazzling and charming and the people who like me don’t even notice my foibles, but the truth is they do, it just doesn’t effect their love for me.
Hence the “mortifying ordeal”---not only do I have to make myself vulnerable to someone else’s gaze, but I then have to accept that the people who like me do it in full knowledge of who I am. At any given moment, people are walking around fully aware of the fact that I’m a know-it-all and a bad loser, that I am not always emotionally available; my first instinct is to argue and my taste in music is somehow pedestrian and pretentious at once, that I am mostly trying, and a lot of times I fail. All the less-than-perfect things inside me are not secreted out of view; they are very obvious to anyone who has spent enough time with me, who has chosen to be around me for more than a half hour.
And that’s the people who like me!
So if we didn’t want to be known, deep down under all the squirming icky, insecure mess that makes being known such a terrifying prospect, then you’re right. The ordeal isn’t worth it, we should all pack up and go home, because people are always going to fucking see us. The random coworker who watches your face during a meeting knows you; the cousin who listened to your snarky comment knows you. You stumble through the world being known, inevitably, inexorably.
But being seen is necessary to be truly loved---and when it comes down to it, to be loved is to be real. Kreider references The Velveteen Rabbit in his follow-up article, appropriately titled “I Am a Meme Now.” I don’t think he’s wrong to draw on the idea that people observing our secret places, our weird faces, our strange comments and experience of the world makes them ultimate more real. Our experience lives inside us, in our head and impulse and feeling, so we are not objective in this---but we can’t escape all that leak out of us into the sight of others either. We can’t escape being known by someone who isn’t us, and rendered more than just our subjective selves through them. (In some ways, being known by someone else can be even truer than what we know about ourselves.)
The reward of all this---the only one that counts---is that sometimes, someone looks into your bloody beating insides and stays. They see your ugly expressions and listen to your nasty comments and peel back the heavy, wet layers of your intestines to see the guts beneath and still, they love you anyway.
It is the closest thing to a miracle most of us will experience.
like, i see no actual difference here
killian-whump reblogged
The Colin mash-up challenge: Once Upon a Time x Storage 24 - part two
The wood splintered beneath the creature's relentless assault. Killian grabbed his cutlass and crept to the door, waiting until the creature withdrew its claws for another blow. He thrust the blade through the hole, felt it hit something harder than flesh. Killian had a moment of panic, wondering if the creature was armored, then the tip pierced and the creature loosed a deafening shriek and pulled away.
The guard of the cutlass was torn from his hand, and he would have lost the weapon if the rent in the wood was too narrow for the guard to fit through. The creature tore free and fled to the hold.
Killian fished out his phone, frowning when he saw his message to Emma was unread and his signal was weak.
Killian weighed his options. He was NOT going to pursue the creature alone. If he was lucky, he'd wounded it badly enough that it would die on its own. If not, it would be back, and the already weakened door wouldn't hold much longer.
He needed to get on deck and seal the hatch, and then hope Emma arrived in time. If not... He'd set the Jolly Roger adrift. Her magic would take her out to sea uncrewed, and Emma would be able to magically transport a team to the ship.
He hated the thought of leaving his ship to the mercy of this thing.
Killian went back to the slumped figure, who had stopped moaning, but was taking rasping, uneven breathes. Killian was about to scoop the man up when he heard a barking shriek from the hold - and it was answered by a similar noise on the deck.
There were two of them.
Killian searched the galley for something else to reinforce the door. Unfortunately, most things on a ship were nailed down; the table in front of the door was an exception because he'd brought it down for a romantic evening with Emma.
Unfortunately, the galley was mostly empty now that he didn't keep a crew and spent most of his time on land.
There was another roar, and another answer, closer this time. Killian didn't have much time. Bloody hell...the door wouldn't hold against two of them, and escaping through the door wasn't an option.
That left the bilge. There was a narrow access panel in the galley, leading to the low space below the deck where leaking water collected. It stank, and it hadn't been pumped in awhile, so the water level would be high. But he could follow it, pass under the hold, and access the storage room beneath the forecastle, and escape through that route.
The hatch to the bilge was hidden in the corner of the galley, out of sight of the door. He fitted his hook in the crack between the boards and lifted.
The smell hit him, and he almost retched. But this was preferable to being torn to pieces.
He was about to slide down when the faceless man moaned again, and Killian froze.
Once, he would have given no thought to leaving someone so badly injured behind. He'd slow Killian down, and with his injuries, he'd probably die, anyway.
But Killian had been with the heroes too long, and they'd rubbed off on him (or, perhaps, brought out his own heroic instincts). He couldn't leave anyone behind.
Killian went to the cabinets, rifling around until he found a burlap sack. He then crouched by the man.
"Can you hear me, Mate?" Killian whispered. A whimper was the only response. "I'm getting you out of here, but you're going to have to walk on your own. Think you can do that?"
There was no verbal response, but he started struggling to his feet. Outside the door, Killian heard a deep rumbling, like conversation. The creatures, whatever they were, were sentient. That complicated matters.
"We're going to be crawling through a tight space filled with water. I won't be able to speak with you, but I'll keep me hook on you and guide you through. Understand?"
The man nodded. "Good. I'm putting this bag over your head to protect you" not that it would do much good protecting his wounds from the bilge, but Killian had to try, "and then we'll be off."
Killian tried not to look too closely at the man's wounds as he eased the bag over his head. Then he offered his hook to the man, who started when he felt it, then accepted it.
Killian sheathed his cutlass and slowly lead the man to the bilge's access. He lowered the man inside, murmuring to him to get to his hands and knees and shuffle aside, then Killian lowered himself into the reeking water. He closed the hatch behind him just in time, as the creatures began to attack the door in tandem.
Killian turned off his flashlight, so the light wouldn't shine through the slats, then caught the injured man's shoulder with his hook and proceeded forward into the dark.
killian-whump reblogged
Squid Pro Quo part thirty
Banner by @hollyethecurious
I'm trying to finish with the snakes. I feel like this is draaaaaaagging, and I want to progress with the story! Next part should be the last.
---------------
Emma sprinted, nearly twisting her ankle half a dozen times on the rubble, and reached the clearing just in time to see the Jones and the flying carpet barely evade the cobra's snapping jaws. The carpet's flight was erratic, and Emma didn't think it could keep this up much longer.
She couldn't see Killian anywhere.
A crashing sound heralded the arrival of the second cobra.
Ruby staggered to a halt beside her, tossed aside the cloak she still held, and began the transformation into a wolf.
"We need to lure them to Regina," Emma said. Ruby nodded. Emma scooped up Ruby's cloak and threw it over her shoulders in order to make herself a more tempting target for the snakes. "And find Killian!"
They charged forward. Emma shot a fireball just past Aladdin's eye when he nearly snagged the carpet with a fang.
They zig-zagged around the clearing, drawing the snakes out and towards Regina's trap. At one point, they even managed to get the snakes' heads to collide, momentarily stunning them.
Jones used the momentary reprieve to swoop down. Emma's heart sank when she saw Killian wasn't with him. "You're getting good at that," Emma said, and Jones smiled. "Where's Killian?"
Jones jerked his head towards Jasmine, who was already recovering and starting to rise. Before her hood obstructed the view, Emma got a glimpse of something clinging to the back of her neck.
This entire time, Killian had been going for the necklace. It must have been like riding a bronco... "Don't worry about us; help him. Don't let him fall."
Jones nodded and soared away.
------
Killian felt ill. He wondered if this was what sea sickness felt like. He'd been tossed around, up, down, sideways... His tentacles were raw from clinging to the necklace, and the metal was slick with blood.
Worse, the clasp was proving difficult to manipulate without fingers.
With Jasmine stunned, Killian went to work at it, trying to get a grip with his bloody tentacles. And then finally - finally - Killian was able to open the clasp just as Jasmine shuddered beneath him and began to raise her head.
As the necklace began to slide free, Killian wrapped his tentacles around her neck and found himself with tw new problems: a) snake scales weren't good for getting a grip, and b) the necklace, which he'd planned to let fall to the ground for later pick-up was shrinking from giant snake size to human size, which would make finding it again nearly impossible.
Killian lunged for it, lost his grip on Jasmine, and plunged downwards.
He could only watch helplessly as the ground rapidly approached...
And then he and the necklace landed atop Jones and the flying carpet.
Killian held up the necklace triumphantly. He hadn't even had to ink!
-------------
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
WHAT A GOOD BOY <3
Anonymous asked:
Colin’s hair looks different but I can’t place it... maybe it’s lighter? Florida sun? Idk. I noticed it in the vid he posted saying he was unable to attend dcc
Yeah, yeah! It’s a bit different! I didn’t notice the color, but now that you mention it, it might be a little lighter from the Florida sun :D I mostly noticed that the front’s sort of going up/back instead of up/side, if that makes sense? It’s a subtle change, but I think it’s contributing to the Benjamin Button effect XD
Also, there are no Party Hairs sticking up in the back, which makes sense, because it was a Very Serious video, and even Colin’s Party Hairs know when to be Very Serious and Sympathetic to us fans
killian-whump reblogged
Hush! That’s a good boy…
Most responses were pro full monty, so I’m reposting… ‘cause I want to see this actual size on my blog. :)
killian-whump reblogged
some fics just get you right in the honey nut feelios
Anonymous asked:
Headcanon that David is just like “oh yeah lol that pirate is my son in law hahahahaha he just tripped and fell of his ship hahahaha” but when something happens to Killian David goes “NUU MY PIRATE!! MY SON!!! YOU STAY AWAY!!! MIIIINNNEEEE!!!!!!!”
Wait, that’s not canon?!?!
I’m pretty sure that’s canon, Nonny XD
killian-whump reblogged
Imagine Colin in a 70′s era movie… on roller skates… with the super short terry booty shorts… and a headband… and a 70′s mustache
If I have to imagine it, so do you. You’re welcome.
when did i post this why did i post this why did i read it again
Whatever you were on when you posted it, can I have some, too?
@wyntereyez make sure to pass it this way when you’re done.
Holy shit, I don’t remember posting either of those things.