I've been thinking, trying to get into the mind of a t*rf and try and understand why they think the way they think.
And one of the things I found the hardest to understand was their obsession with vaginas and them defining themselves by them. I was like... from their nature, vaginas have one (1) role: procreation. They're there for semen to get inserted through and for a baby to pop out later. And y'all are pro choice and hate the patriarchy for (among other things) enforcing the idea that all women should be mothers and yet...
And then I realized my asexual ass was back at it again. They don't obsess over vaginas because of procreation. They obsess over them because of the other function they can have: sexual satisfaction.
Now why they obsess over periods beats me. Idk why you are proud to be defined by something that pains and inconveniences you, that makes society hate you, that you might not want yet are unable to get rid of, but I prefer to simply tolerate it as part of my existence instead of defining myself by an undesirable burden I never chose.
So... I wrote a fucking book in response to this, and then afterwards realized I should’ve just reblogged my response like a normal person.
Mind you, I don’t normally discuss social issues or politics on this blog, and I don’t intend to change that. But the simple fact that you’re TRYING to get into the mind of folks you disagree so you can understand where they’re coming from is so FUCKING EXCITING to me that it just gets me going.
Because I don’t think anyone can successfully argue/debate ANY issue until they try to do exactly that - and succeed in doing so. Yet, no one usually even TRIES it, let alone succeeds, and thus most social/political arguments just end up being both sides shouting the same tired nonsense at each other ad nauseum with no one getting anywhere. Once you start seeing where each side is coming from and how they’re absolutely failing at getting their points across (whilst purposely failing to understand anything their opponents say), you quickly start to lose interest in... well, all of it. None of it fucking matters. It’s all people shouting at each other without ever listening to anyone else; all the decisions that matter won’t be made by any of these people, but by those in power - who will make their decisions based on whatever choices will put more money in their pockets and/or the pockets of the people who pay them.
ANYWAY!! Here’s my reply, with a couple things added:
The whole concept of "pride" in anything *innate* is so weird to me. I understand being proud of accomplishments. You worked hard on something, you accomplished a goal, you feel pride in what you've done/created/achieved. I get that. But pride over things you're born with is just... it's stupid to me, no matter what it's for. Existence itself isn't something to take pride in. Continuing to exist in spite of hardships, oppression or genocide certainly is, of course, but last I checked having a functioning vagina didn’t really apply there.
And there's a very thin line between "pride" and "supremacy" anyway. I feel like I can understand some of the TERF mentality through the lens of Female Supremacy. Men are men. Women are women. Everything male is less; everything female is more. It’s just the way it is. But that's essentially a fantasy mindset - one that’s fun to pick up for sexy femdom funtimes or playful banter, but not for realsies. In reality, it’s nothing more than misandry. Still, it IS where some of them are coming from, like it or not.
That said, I think a lot of the issues between TERFs and TRAs comes from the overly wide "spectrum" of identities that now fall under the "trans" label. It once only applied to those actively living as the opposite sex (or intending/desiring to). Now it includes a lot more people - including those who live as both/neither sex, those who are unsure, and those who dress as the opposite sex for purposes of sexual titillation.
I think there are a lot of things that are (and should be) supported when it comes to those living as women (ie unquestioned access to women's facilities) that unfortunately have to be considered a lot more carefully when you have a surprisingly large number of fetishists out there who will absolutely take advantage of it for their own jollies. And I’m not saying this as someone who’s even remotely transphobic. I’m saying this as someone who has spent 20+ years in the kink community and has seen first hand (a) just how common/prevalent this fetish is and (b) just how few fucks fetishists can give about involving others non-consensually when acting out their fantasies.
Mind you, I don't see how on earth there could even BE a fight between sensible people on this issue. BOTH "sides" should be adamantly against fetishists piggy-backing on the transgender movement. It both cheapens the movement (not to mention gender dysmorphia itself) AND puts women (both cis and trans!) at risk. Why isn’t EVERYONE mad about this?! Why aren’t we all on the same fucking page here? I honestly don’t get it.
But extremists on one side want to paint ALL trans people as being fetishists, while extremists on the other side want to either pretend the fetishists don't exist or (worse) claim it's actually okay for them to enact their fantasies in public with non-consenting parties. All of these approaches are downright stupid. We all know most trans folks aren’t fetishists, but that doesn’t mean the fetishists aren’t out there - and hell no, it is NOT okay. Anyone who’s spent more than 10 minutes in the kink community knows it is NEVER okay to involve unwilling / unwitting participants in your sexual activities, no matter how innocuous those activities may seem to you (or even are).
There’s also the issue of gendered sports and how trans individuals should be handled within that arena. I don’t have any opinion on THAT issue, chiefly because I have no fucking clue how it should be handled. I do, however, think it’s a topic worthy of discussion and full of valid points and concerns on all sides.
Anyway, that’s where I see the bases lying for the TERF viewpoints. BUT! As always, the stance has now been co-opted by extremists - in this case, transphobes and haters. You can’t assume that any given TERF has a sound basis for whatever it is they’re thinking. Some of ‘em are just assholes who wanna hate on trans people. Or men. Or both.