Killian Whump

Oh wow. That would be a fun weekend excursion and not at all a bad idea or anything. Let’s see…  Who would attend…

Well, our little friend Brendan’s going to have to attend. I have little faith in his ability to have gotten away with the murder he committed, so someone will probably have to break him out of jail first. I nominate JJ for that task.

Captain Hook, of course, has to be there. And Wish Hook had better come along, as well. Well, really, ALL the Hooks can come, aside from Cowardly Deckhand Hook, who probably never even hit a person before that fateful swordfight that ended his poor life. Oh, and Little Killian. And probably Slave Killian, as well. They can stay home and have a movie night.

(Crazy Ass) Peter can also come. We actually never see him murder anyone onscreen, but let’s be real here - he’s killed some people before the events of the movie, and he likely killed a bunch more during the course of the film’s final melee between the Berserkers and the Community. Edit: @lillpon was kind enough to remind me that we absolutely DO see Peter kill people - those two guys at the campfire. I forgot about them! My bad!

Then, of course, we have JJ Sneed, who is probably hosting the damn event. And it’s probably all just a big con in order to steal all their money for knee replacement surgery. Well, the joke’s on him, because Brendan ain’t got no money, Peter’s only interested in building a new community… and the Hooks ain’t having any of JJ’s shit.

I’m actually surprised at the low turnout here. I mean, for all the jerks and bad boys Colin’s played, most of them aren’t actually murderers. Neat!

Yes, but inadvertently.

From the burns on Deke’s hand and the charred cameo necklace he carries in memory of his wife, it’s pretty clear that Mrs. Fletcher died in a fire.

And JJ sets fires primarily as a diversion, not as a means of murder.

So while he is ultimately responsible for killing a pregnant lady, it would more properly be classified as voluntary manslaughter and not murder.

But, you know, he’s flat-out murdered plenty of other people, so… ;)