Pairing: Sasagawa Ryohei/Sawada Tsunayoshi
Prompt: Real Mafia AU / Professional Fake Boyfriend
Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - No Mafia, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Humor, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Strangers to Lovers, Professional Fake Boyfriend Ryohei
Summary: Maybe it's loneliness, maybe it's desperation, maybe it's because he wants his mother to stop looking so concerned whenever he fails to mention so much as a name when she asks if he has a 'special someone'. Whatever the reason, Tsuna finds himself hiring a Professional Fake Partner… just for a few months.
Tsuna twists the phone cord around his finger as the line rings and rings and rings. Untwisting the phone cord, he pulls the pamphlet closer and reads the number again. He dialed it correctly right? Suddenly, he can’t seem to remember.
“Moshi moshi! Thank you for calling 1-800-LEAP! How can Haru help you today?” The voice on the other side of the line sounds chipper, almost bird-like, and Tsuna can’t help but smile at the brightness of Haru’s voice.
“He-Hello,” Tsuna clears his throat and shifts his feet. “Hello, my name is Sawada Tsunayoshi, and I would like to hire a,” he lifts the pamphlet up to read, “ ‘professional partner’?”
“Of course, desu!” There’s a sound of keys click-clacking. “Is this for a specific event or a long-term employment opportunity?”
“Um.” He looks up to the ceiling, twisting the phone cord around his finger again.
Haru laughs. “Don’t worry, desu, we get a lot of that. What’s the reason for your call?”
The look of concern, the pointed questions about girls, boys, anyone in his life, the way his mother frowns when he can’t come up with a name. “Kaa-san worries,” Tsuna says.
“Ah, so a long-term employment then.” More keyboard sounds. “I do have to get some information from you, Sawada-san, but let’s start with your preferences. Are you looking for a girlfriend or a boyfriend?”
Tsuna feels a red blush spread across his cheeks as he stammers out, “Boyfriend please.”
“Wonderful! Would you prefer him to be taller or shorter than you?”
And so it went on, Haru asking questions about Tsuna and his preferences for a partner, Tsuna answering, sometimes in stutters, sometimes confidently. By the end of the phone call, he’s leaning back against his kitchen counter and laughing at something she said. The phone cord hangs loose in his grip, half-twisted between his fingers. “Well everything seems to be in order!” Haru chirps. “Thank you once again for calling 1-800-LEAP! Your boyfriend will contact you to arrange your first date, and remember if it doesn’t work out, you just give us a call and we’ll arrange a different boyfriend for you!”
“Thank you! Have a good day!” Tsuna hangs up the phone and takes a moment to just stand there, hand still on the phone in its cradle. The AC turns on with a soft roar of air, but otherwise the house is quiet save for a few creaks as it settles. “What did I just do,” he asks himself.
The pamphlet he had found in his mailbox a few days ago flips its pages, blown by the AC. It lands open on a page of a smiling couple who claims to have met by hiring a professional partner and just never wanting it to end. Tsuna snorts. If ever there was an impossible dream…
Ah well, at least I’ll make Kaa-san happy for a few months, he thinks as he tosses the pamphlet into his junk drawer.
Ao3