BoY: Chapter 7 - Reality
The warmth and the heaviness of the water pelted my face like a punch. The cold porcelain against my back, my body trembling. I was cold and uncomfortable, but I refused to move. The water roared in my ears like Niagara Falls, drowning everything, including my own thoughts. I don't want any of this. This is just too much. I would not even wish this on my worst enemy, either. How could this be happening? I can't stop looking at my imaginary blood-soaked hands. It was an accident, but the guilt and...I could still feel the scissors slicing Dean's flesh like store-bought meat, his blood running down my hands. I could hear the gurgling escape his mouth. Oh God. I want to puke. The water and acid or whatever is left in my stomach churned, stinging my throat. I don't have anything left in me, but my tears continuously fell anyway.
I'm pregnant. I was assaulted. Angels. Demons. Oh! And let's not forget about God. All are fucking real! Just amazing. I couldn't help but laugh out loud and cry at the same time like a mad woman. Could this get any worse?
But what hurt me the most was Heidi's truth. An angel. The damn fucking archangel, Gabriel. No breathing exercises or techniques can quell the anger in me. She betrayed me. How do you deal with that? Only way I knew how. A deep voice came out of me as I sobbed and howled, grieving for what I lost. Four years, we were like white on rice. I did not hide anything from her. Not. A. Thing. She knew my life's story, inside and out. Childhood, the Gibbs's, Michael...
Four years, we laughed and cried together. We fought like cats and dogs. To me, she was more than my best friend. She was my sister, one of the most important people in my life, but she trampled all over it. Was anything real? Her smile, laugh, tears, hopes, dreams? I angrily wiped the tears away. It was better to be frustrated than sad. I only discovered the truth because she outed herself, trying to save me when Rick was...I shook my head, trying to forget.
Even though I said it would not help, I took a few deep breaths anyway until I couldn't and let it out as slowly as I could. The brain fog cleared a little and calmed my sobbing fits. And while I lost my trust in Heidi/Gabriel, she saved me, Dean, and our baby. She saved our family. The last two words rang in my head loudly than I wanted. Family. The thought of my own family made me smile for a minute that it hurt. It was one I longed as far I could remember. To love, to hold...Michael knew, but...I hanged my head in defeat and drew my knees closer to my body until I couldn't anymore and hugged myself.
"What do I do?" I whispered to no one in particular. I feel so alone in this world right now. And in nine months, a little human being will be counting on me. I placed my cold, soaked, wrinkled hand on my belly. This time, I let the tears take over. With everything that happened in the past 24 hours, I was mentally exhausted. The image of Heidi/Gabriel flooded my brain as Heidi Gabrielle, my sister to Heidi Gabrielle the archangel, Gabriel.
I could feel Heidi's eyes rolling behind her head, whites only visible when she's annoyed and grumbled something like, "Oh for heaven's sake!"
"Move!" she commanded behind me, but I just stood there, looking at Dean on the floor, laying haphazardly, eyes wide open. I don't know what happened, but there was blood all over my hands and a pair of scissors on my right. Heidi snatched the dripping bloodied tool angrily and tossed it away somewhere, making a "clunk" noise as it hit something.
Heidi repeated herself, but this time authoritatively, shoving me out of the way. "Reima, move and sit your ass down on the couch. Now!" She sounded like a muffled voice in my head. I didn't have it in me to argue with her. I sat like she told me. I just murdered Dean. I just killed the father of my unborn child.
"I didn't mean to," I mumbled apologetically. "Dean...Heidi, I'm sorry," looking at her with fear in my eyes. I didn't know what else to say or do. I needed her to help me. How? I don't know how. Usually when I'm all out of sorts, she's all over me, making sure I was okay. Not this time. So many thoughts all at once. Murder. Conviction. Prison. Life without parole or worse, the death penalty. Oh, my God. What have I done? I began to panic. My head began to swim. I was drowning. My heart trying to beat out of my chest, and my lungs burning for air. I need to get out.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Everything was in slow motion. Dean on the floor lifeless, Heidi with her right hand on his chest. I can't stay in the room any longer. I was about to bolt when I heard someone sucking in air and Heidi asking, "You good?" I thought she was talking to me, but when I turned to answer her, Dean was sitting up, grunting, and staring at me. Heidi did the same. I blinked once, twice. Faced Heidi, then Dean. Blinked again. What in the fu-
"Rae, you good?" Dean repeated slowly with a groan, propping himself off the floor gingerly. He acted as if this sort of thing was normal. I slowly approached him like a scared animal and patted his abdomen, his rock hard abdomen. Nothing. No gash. His nice, stained blouse was slashed, but underneath it, nothing. No laceration, no wound. Not. A. Thing.
Confusion washed all over my face. "What in the devil's-what?" I backed away haphazardly, tripping on the ottoman, almost falling on my ass. Thank goodness I caught myself, albeit awkwardly. Though, I was still able to keep my dignity. Not a peep came out of the two, but Dean continued to carry the look on his face, honest-to-God, concern.
I opened my mouth and shut it right back. Various things happened simultaneously, but Dean asking me if I was okay irritated me more than it should have. Why did he have to ask if I was okay?! I snuffed the light out of him! He was dead, so why is he, lack for a better word, undead? Is he a zombie?! Is he going to eat my brains?! My sullied hands shot up to my head unknowingly. This is nuts.
I probably shouldn't have said what I said, but it was too late. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I threw at him angrily, my body shaking. "You just died! You should be mad at me. But instead, you're sitting there asking me if I'm okay?!" Dean was flabbergasted, which did not help the situation. "Stop worrying about me and worry about yourself!" If I wasn't paying attention, I would have missed it, but my eyes were glued on the man who took me for all that I was. His eyes casted downwards, shoulders slumped, attempting to hide what he was feeling; it was melancholy. For what, I don't know. At that moment, I felt like the bad guy. Here he was genuinely concerned about me and what did I do with it? Threw it back at his face.
Then I turned to Heidi. What did she do? How was it possible? I don't know if Heidi could sense the disturbance in my head, the overwhelming rage, confusion, panic, but she loomed over me, her hand on my cheek like she always did when I was anxious. I flinched out of fright, but I let it. If she was God or some higher being, I did not want to get obliterated.
I closed my eyes tightly waiting for sweet death to take me. Nothing happened. I opened my right eye, moving it from side to side. I was still in our cold living room, still naked, Dean sitting where he was sitting and Heidi standing in front of me. "God?" I accidentally asked out loud.
Heidi inhaled deeply, shaking her head, and responded in a monotonous voice. "I am a messenger of God." One beat. Two beats. Like an anime character, my eyes were wide open, exaggeratedly blinking. Come again? I looked up at the woman who declared herself a "messenger of God" with a thick Southern drawl, cocked my head, and felt a tug on my right lip. I suddenly broke out laughing like a crazy woman.
"You?! That's rich. You're a...you're like the whore from Babylon. How could..." I stopped mid-sentence when I noticed that Dean was not laughing with me. He sat on the recliner with an uneasy look on his face. I bit my lower lip and nonchalantly turned to the 'messenger of God.' Her elegant face was marred with rage, which I have never seen before. It was frightening, very much so that I moved closer to Dean's side.
Heidi abruptly and angrily pulled her hand away from me, accompanied by a shoulder flex. Roaring thunder, flashing lights, gust of wind in the living room, even though impossible. Cold and heat creeping up and down my skin, prickling like pins and needles. Silhouette of angel wings behind her as she repeated herself. "I am Gabriel, a messenger of God and an archangel."
An angel. This whole time, I was living with an angel, an archangel, no less. I was perturbed by the revelation, I didn't notice Dean standing between me and Heidi. If he was scared, he did not show it. His broad shoulders, muscular back, bowlegged-legs from a childhood accident...Though it was apparent that I was the only one who was not in the know. Demons exist, and now angels?! However, it all made sense as my brain languidly connected some dots. Her soothing power, her suddenly appearing out of thin air when I needed her, her healing power, her ability to read my mind. I subconsciously touched myself. She healed me after Rick pummeled me almost to death. Rick was a demon who was overpowered by Heidi because she was an archangel. He didn't have a chance at all. For the very first time, I was scared of Heidi Gabrielle Adams. And then I was once again angry, only slightly this time.
The angel let out an exasperated sigh. "We don't have much time. Any minute now, those demons will be barging in. Including my sisters and brothers, maybe Father." As if reading my mind, she answered with, "Yes, other angels. Yes, God. And this is why I did not want to use my powers. Centuries of hiding..." Another exasperated sigh.
Before any questions came out of my mouth, Heidi continued on, segueing to a different topic. "You have to stop being stupid, Rae," she pointed, not giving room for any arguments, while looking outside the window as if searching for something. What came out next had me and Dean gaped at the mouth. "Reviving you, Dean, and yall's child...It took a lot out of me." She ended with a southern drawl, not realizing what she had just done.
I drew in sharp air loudly as if being pierced by a sizzling metal and closed my eyes shut as fast as I could. Everything was in slow motion yet again. This was definitely not how I envisioned telling Dean because I wasn't going to. Pregnant silence invaded the living room. I casted my eyes at the carpet, attempting to avoid Dean's gaze, but I could feel those baby greens on me. Dammit, Heidi Gabrielle Adams. You and your big, holy mouth.
Quick silence. "What? How-Come again?" He stammered, which made me giggle a bit, rapid footsteps in circles.
"That's how we got here in the first place," I mumbled. If looks could kill. Dean yielded the nastiest look he could muster my way and turned away. Incomprehensible noises were coming out of his plump lips as if trying to find the right words to use, hands on his head. "I think I'm gonna be sick," he said instead. Definitely not how I envisioned his response to be. Suddenly, he stopped muttering like a mad man. Whatever he was about to say was interrupted by something.
"Shit!" He cursed underneath his breath. "Heidi!" He drew the curtain shut and out came a dull, jagged-edged blade with a wooden grip from out of nowhere.
"Yeah, yeah, I see them," the other annoyingly retorted. In her hand was a long, silver, triple-edged dagger, which was a bit longer than Dean's. I was tempted to say "where's mine?" and "Where did Heidi hide hers?" but I don't think it'll be appreciated. Instead, I watched both of them looking through the window intently.
"What's out there?" I started, like a nosey neighbor, approaching the window, flat sheet in tow. I was a few inches away when Dean's arm wrapped around me so fast like an anaconda and snatched me away, my back hitting the wall with a thump.
"Shut up!" He commanded like I have never heard before. The Dean I met before is not the same Dean I'm with today. My left eyebrow raised, reacting my dislike with his tone, but I let it go. Because whatever was or were outside, he was worried just by the rise and fall of his chest and the concentrated look plastered on his face. Yet the jagged blade on his right hand remained still, his other arm still wrapped around me. I felt the safest.
"How do you want to gank these sons of bitches?!" He asked the archangel, who was to his left. I leaned over, and just like Dean, she was motionless. Gank?
One beat. Two beats. Three beats. If we are going to die, I need a damn weapon and the flat sheet I have wrapped around my naked body will be my shroud if we don't do anything.
Heidi looked outside the window one more time. Whatever she saw, she murmured something angrily. She was panicking deep inside, but she kept her resting bitch face. How do I know? Heidi wears her emotions on her sleeve, except when she is panicked, like she is now. What the fuck is outside that got them frazzled? It must be really bad because both of them were tense.
"We're leaving," I heard Heidi said with finality. And before Dean or I could argue, we were gone.
Dean was back on the road within 10 minutes after getting transported back to his car, courtesy of the archangel, Gabriel or Gabrielle. Luckily, no threat where he parked his black car, which he was thankful. "Won't be pooping for a week!" He grumbled focused on the empty road. The clock on the dashboard says 11:30 pm, but to him, it felt much later.
Before the angel and Reima, still dazed about the whole situation, disappeared, Gabriel placed her hand on his head and commanded, "Go to this address alone." And just like that, they were gone. He despised the angel for being bossy, but this was not the time to argue. He knew that he will have to have a heart-to-heart with Gabriel one of these days, sooner rather than later.
After getting on the interstate did he finally relax, somewhat. His eyes darting from his rearview and sideview mirrors, making sure that none of the demons were tailing him. He let out a sigh of relief and stepped on the gas pedal, making his Baby roar in anger, the speedometer reading over 80. For a few minutes he was focused on the angel/Heidi Adams. For some reason unknown, he was picturing Heidi's vessel as some short guy, with brunette hair, and a goofy face; not a brunette, slender woman, with a beautiful face. Just because he dislikes her didn't mean he can't appreciate her beauty.
And then there was Rae, pregnant. He scratched his temple and sighed deeply. A baby? "She's not even showing," he expressed. "Is the baby even mine?" As soon as the words escaped his mouth, he knew the answer. Not only did the archangel implant the location of where to meet them, which was somewhere in Kansas, but also included her memory of Rae's ER visit with some doctor named Ong and the now dead nurse.
August 6, 2022 was the conception date, according to the doctor. It was the day he met her at Jolene's, a pool hall/bar, frequented by college students. One of the hunters shared that it was the best place to get lucky. A few more he met along the way said the same thing. He remembered killing some monster that day with Garth, what it was he couldn't recall. So he went to blow off steam with a plan to get drunk, play pool, and get lucky, whichever one came first. And afterwards, get back on the road, never to return. However, when he met Rae that day, he didn't get drunk nor play pool. He spent it all with her, talking more than he ever did. The warmth and love from her and the sex...
Beeeeeepppp! A harsh sound woke him from his reverie, accompanied by "Get off the road, jackass!" He heard, albeit muffled, as an old, red Ford passed him like a bat out of hell.
"Up yours, motherfucker!" He yelled right back plus the middle finger, which made him feel good, but only for a split second later. Suddenly, anxiety crept in and reality hit him like a ton of bricks, rendering him unable to drive. "I'm gonna be a father...a father. Me," he repeated, breathing in and out rapidly. He was hyperventilating, causing him to yank the steering wheel to the shoulder.
As soon as he put the vehicle in park, he jumped out so quickly he almost fell face first but caught himself. He rushed to the front of the car and began puking his guts out. He was surrounded by darkness, except for the harsh, white-yellow lights coming from the Impala, and memories of his past surged through.
He didn't have a great childhood nor a great role model. His mom passed away when he was 4 years old. His dad became a hunter soon after and when he went out on a hunt, Dean was either left alone to care for himself or left in someone else's care, Bobby or Father Jim, until he returned. They moved around so often, he could barely remember the schools he attended. Out of nowhere, an unfamiliar name somehow popped up in his head. Sammy.
"Who the fuck is Sammy?" He thought. When nothing came to mind, he shrugged. Around him was nothingness, but the sweet sound of crickets and rustling leaves against the wind, which he was thankful for. Before getting back in the car, he rested his back against his car to calm himself. He knew he has feelings for Rae, but starting a family with her was definitely not in his purview. He is a hunter and he will always be a hunter. A family will only be a distraction. Having a family was never a part of his plan.
He knew very well what went bump in the night, how dangerous they can be. How? Because he hunted them as far as he can remember. Moving to suburbia, holding a 9-to-5 job to support the three of them, maybe four or five. Did he want a big family? "Nope. Not going there," he stopped and brought his focus back to Azazel, the demon who wreaked havoc with his family. The panic that struck him earlier was now replaced with anger, which he welcomed wholeheartedly. Yellow eyes killed his mother, which turned him and his dad into a hunter. The demon was also the reason why his dad was so hard on him and Garth when they were were growing up. However, the one link he had to yellow eyes was smote; no thanks to the archangel. But if she didn't, he would have done some damage and many more.
After swishing some day old water he found in the back of his trunk and getting back in, he said to his '67 Chevy Impala, "it's gonna be a long ride, Baby," patting the car's dashboard. "Just you and me, back on the road." He has 24 hours to think of a way to track down Azazel and come up of a plan with Rae and their unborn child. He winced as the brewing headache intensified and zoomed towards the east.
