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we only fail when we stop trying

@katyobsesses / katyobsesses.tumblr.com

Katy | 28 | she/they | queer aroace | uk | multifandom | multishipper | sometimes I write things (#katy writes) | sometimes I create things (#katy creates)
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WIP Wednesday

tagged by @daisyishedwig (thanks!!! <3)

I have actually been writing a good amount recently! I've posted two 9-1-1 codas this week alone, and been working on my Modern!Bridgerton fics too, so I'll share something from one of those I think.

These are the opening paragraphs for my Pre-Polin story, focusing on the Colin/Marina storyline from season 1 but modernising it, and written mostly from Penelope's POV.

There were many tucked away nooks and alcoves in the ornate apartment the Featherington’s called home, and youngest daughter Penelope knew them all. She knew which ones afforded her the most privacy outside of her own room, which ones were the most comfortable, and which ones offered her the best views of Grosvenor Square. The latter is where she was currently situated, a window seat tucked away in the corner of the main reception room. She’d managed to avoid her parents and sisters' likely reminders to go to bed at a reasonable hour simply by sitting down in that spot and pulling the curtains which encompassed the window seat. Not enough to block out the evening sun, but enough to obscure her from view.  They only really thought of Penelope when she was in their line of sight, or, in the case of her mother especially, when they needed someone to belittle. Penelope liked that she had the ability to become invisible like this, because there was nothing she wanted less, at times, than to be perceived by her family.

Tagging: @eafeebevibin @mdverse @backslashdelta @beshrew-my-very-heart @calsvoid - and i guess anyone else who reads this <3 feel free to tag me

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WIP Wednesday

last week i was hit with the writing bug, i stayed up until 4am two nights in row just writing, i went to watch a musical and the whole day, except watching the show itself, all i could think about was writing, i watched eras tour livestreams at 3am and related each surprise song to the ship i as writing. i was obsessed.

I now have 18k words of a Benedict/Sophie fic for my Modern Bridgerton AU series, (and a few thousand words of Polin content too) and while the progress has slowed in the last few days i am optimistic that i'll finish this story, optimistic that I'll catch the writing bug again, especially since i have most of it mapped out - I've decided to actual plan shit for once, not just have a vague outline, and it's made it much easier to write.

anyway, here's ~500 of the 18k words <3

Masked Truths (working title) snippet

“If it weren’t raining,” She said, “It wouldn’t be England.” Benedict hummed. “You know, whenever I’m away, on a holiday or what not, I do often find myself missing the rain.” Sophie chuckled, shaking her head. Her long hair fluttered around her shoulders at the movement and she smiled as she tucked a strand back behind her ear. “I feel like I spend half my life staring out the window and wishing the rain away.” “You’d miss it, if it were gone,” Benedict found himself saying, and, apparently, it had been the wrong thing. Or, at least, it had sent her into a pensive silence. He watched as a myriad of thoughts flittered across her face, and found his hand twitching once again for a pencil, a paint brush, a fucking biro and post-it note. There was something about the way she continued to absentmindedly hold her hand tucked behind her ear, her elbow resting against her other arm as it crossed over her chest. The way her mask sat against her nose, held on her face by a silver ribbon that tied around her head disappearing under her long inky black hair. The far off look she had in her eyes. “You’re very quiet,” He said softly, after several long seconds of committing the sight of her to his memory. He was glad she’d found her before he’d had more than a glass of Champagne, glad his memories of tonight were unlikely to be fuzzy around the edges from anything other than the intoxication he felt simply by being in her presence. “I was just thinking,” She said, dropping her hand and turning her face to him, then her whole body, her shoulder now leaning against the wall instead of her back. Benedict instinctively mirrored her. “About?” “About what I’d miss - and what I wouldn’t - should my life drastically change.” So she had been in rather deep thought then. Benedict forced his own to not follow a similar path. “And do you expect it to drastically change?” He asked. She sighed, smile turning wistful and ever so slightly sad. “No.” “But you wish it to,” He guessed. “Yes,” She breathed out seemingly unable to stop herself. It was a word full of hope, of sadness, of desire, of longing. Benedict took her hands, bringing them to his lips and kissing them in turn. “Then we shall begin right now,” He told her, “And tomorrow you shall be transformed.” She gave him an ironic smile that wrinkled her nose. “Tonight I am transformed,” She told him softly, “And tomorrow… the woman in front of you will disappear.” Benedict felt his heart clench in his chest at the pure sadness that filled her voice - in exact opposition to the joy of earlier in the night. He drew her into his chest and she fell into him willingly, he placed a fleeting kiss against her forehead. “Then we will pack a lifetime into a night,” He told her.
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Am I the only person missing Colin's colourful outfits in S3?

Yes he does look quite dashing in the Parisian fashions but it doesn't feel like him and whenever I read a time travel AU and he remarks on his old clothes and how much he wishes he had his new ones it feels wrong.

That fashionable Colin was a mask, and surely by the end of the season he should have reverted back to his pastel waistcoats and colourful coats, or at least added some colour back into his wardrobe. I do hope we get that in the next season.

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Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Marriage Proposal, The Carriage Scene, Friends to Lovers, Vaginal Fingering, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Shameless Smut, like this is the smuttiest thing ive ever written, and the first smut i've ever posted

Summary:

A modern rewrite of The Carriage Scene.   “Pen, wait!” Colin called as Penelope ran up the staircase, her curls flying behind her and the skirt of her dress fluttering around her legs. “Not now, Colin,” she responded, slowing slightly as she got to the landing, stopping and taking a heaving breath that turned into a sob she quickly swallowed back. “Penelope,” Colin whispered, slowly walking up the stairs towards her. “I don't want to talk, Colin,” She said, her back still to him, and he watched as she straightened, taking a deep stuttering breath and slowly letting it loose. Her sniffles filled the hall, mingling with the distant thump of bass coming from one of her neighbours, but otherwise they were both silent as Pen composed herself before turning to him. … “Please,” he said imploringly, nodding to the door of her flat, “Let me in?”
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~ WIP Wednesday ~

I'm completely obsessed with my current WIP, a Modern Bridgerton AU! I'm roughly planning to have a story for each Bridgerton sibling, with some of them intertwining. I'm currently writing a rough outline of each story, vaguely following the show (and sometimes incorporating book stuff that might fit) but making it, obviously, modern. So Saphne are going to be a Fake Dating story (I'm thinking actors in a PR relationship) Kanthony are Enimies to Lovers (maybe rival Lawyers? I'm not too sure yet) and Polin are obviously Friends to Lovers! And it is part of the Polin Story (as yet untitled) that I'll be sharing today, because I started re-writing the Carriage Scene and couldn't stop (though I have yet to write the actual smut) and I am incredibly proud of what I have so far

Modern Bridgerton AU - Untitled Polin Story - "Carriage" scene

“Pen, wait!” Colin called as Penelope ran up the staircase, her curls flying behind her and the skirt of her dress fluttering around her legs.

“Not now, Colin,” She responded, slowing slightly as she got to the landing, stopping and taking a heaving breath that turned into a sob she quickly swallowed back.

“Penelope,” Colin whispered, slowly walking up the stairs towards her.

“I don't want to talk, Colin,” She said, her back still to him, and he watched as she straightened, taking a deep stuttering breath and slowly letting it loose. Her sniffles filled the hall, mingling with the distant thump of bass coming from one of her neighbours, but otherwise it was silent as Pen composed herself before turning to him.

She was beautiful, as she always had been, as he'd long taken for granted. Even with reddened eyes and messy mascara, fallen curls and flushed skin, she looked like a work of art. He was sure Benedict would be able to name exactly which, or, rather, he wouldn't, because Penelope was one of a kind.

“Please,” he said imploringly, nodding to the door of her flat, “Let me in?”

She regarded him, looking down from the landing above The overhead light made a halo around her head, [blah blah blah poetry about her standing tall in front of him, him having to look up at her beauty blah blah blah]

She nodded - the mask of composure falling away, letting him see the exhaustion and sad acceptance she was feeling - and turned to open the door. He took the last few steps two at a time, and followed her into the flat. He closed the door behind himself, toeing off his dress shoes and watching as she sighed, her hands running through her hair and snagging on bobby pins. She let out a sound of frustration before grabbing a claw clip from the table by the door and expertly twisting her hair up and away from her face. She leant down to undo the clasp on her shoes, and fumbled, letting out another sound of frustration that caught on a sob.

“Let me,” Colin said, voice soft in the quiet, and gestured to the bench in the hallway. She sat down heavily, and he crouched in front of her, unbuckling the clasp at one ankle, and then another.

“Why did you follow me home?” Penelope asked, as he gently took the first heel from her foot.

“You… you looked distressed, as you left the luncheon,” He answered.

“So you decided to follow me?”

Colin placed the second heel next to the first, neatly, before sitting back on his ankles. He chewed on his lip, before looking up at Penelope.

“What happened, between you and Deb?” He asked.

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Okay so I haven't read the Bridgerton books (yet) but I know the over arching plots of most of them.

I'm seeing tiktoks of people saying that Cressida should be Sophie, for Benedict's story, but... No. Just no.

I'd love to see Cressida's story continue, but not like that.

However! She's going to her apparently very horrible aunt's for who knows how long. (One reason people are speculating her as Sophie) But what if she has a cousin? Who is hated by her aunt? OR!!! What if she does have a half-sister called Sophia who has been sent to live with her aunt before she was??? The two bond over the horribleness of living there, and run away together to the Bridgerton's masquerade ball. Cressida gets a redemption arc, getting close to Sophie and helping her out of her horrible situation.

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Snippet Sunday

I haven't been tagged but I wanted to post a snippet from the aroace!Eloise modern day Bridgerton AU I started thinking about the other day!!! And I'm only... An hour and seventeen minutes into Monday 🙃 it's still Sunday in many other places

“I am sure,” Penelope began, hand coming to Eloise's shoulder, not letting El interrupt her again, “that you will find someone, El. That you will experience this love too.”

El shook her head, turing to give Penelope a small smile.

“I don't believe I will,” She stated, but it wasn't a sad remark, simply one of acceptance, “and I am content with that, really. The idea of another person's life being entwined with mine in that way is…”

Eloise frowned, grimacing slightly, eyes on the glass of wine in her hand.

“It’s never something I wanted, and never something I’ve understood. I'm fine seeing others wanting that, acting on that want, but… I’ve never wished it for myself. Even now, feeling as lonely as I do, with you off with Colin, and my falling out with Cress… I still don't wish for a romance,” she fought back the urge to mask her look of disgust as she usually did, because she wished to be honest with her friend, “and I certainly don't wish for… the other things that usually come along with romance.”

“El-” Pen began again, a blush on her cheeks and a squeak in her voice, but Eloise interrupted with a guffaw.

“Pen, I really don’t want to know anything about the sexual exploits between you and my brother,” She said, laughter clouding her words, “and I really don't want ones of my own. I am nearly 30, it's not like I'm some blushing child about sex, I have experimented with myself, it just… feels more like a chore, maybe, than the bliss I've read it should be,” El sighed sipping her wine, “and, again, I had assumed it was like that for everyone, despite what the media I consumed was telling me,” she shook her head with another chuckle, “I guess sometimes you can believe what you read on the internet. Sometimes you don't have to take things with a pinch of salt. But I've spent so very long assuming everyone felt the way I did, that it's hard to reconcile that belief with reality. And it's hard - in the dark of night, on days where I have talked to noone but my colleagues, or even noone at all - to think that my days will forever have this feeling of loneliness blanketing them. All because I do not wish for romance, for sex. And there are dark nights where I do wonder if I am broken in some way, not wanting what everyone else seems to want. And it just feels so much more lonely now, than it ever has before. Because my siblings are pairing off, because every time I open Facebook there is an announcement of an old friend getting engaged, or married, or having a baby. And all I feel is… behind.”

The voice of this fanfiction is definitely different to my glee or 9-1-1 fics but it's so much fun to write in flowery posh British prose! I imagine the Bridgerton's and Featherington's would still be a part of high society even in modern day - Edmund and Archibald as politicians, probably - so Pen and El and everyone would still have these hoity-toity British accents just, ya know, would also use slang from time to time, because they are still of modern times.
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