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#black friday – @katsumatsu4 on Tumblr
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Oh, d'arvit

@katsumatsu4 / katsumatsu4.tumblr.com

fics/artblog: kukurykunapatyku i eat, i sleep, i enjoy things
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Ted deaths ranked by how pathetic they are

6) Black Friday (nuked by Russia, presumably)

Not pathetic at all! Died tragically and surrounded by the people he cares about, all of them praying together for a chance to keep going. Very poetic. 0/10 not pathetic.

5) Time Bastard (imprisoned for eternity)

lmao this is the best ending of all if you ask me, all the others are too quick and to the point, now he can finally have a taste of hell. Not very pathetic though, more like a bit overkill. 3/10

4) Time Bastard (stabbed)

ngl stabbed by Paul and Emma is how I want to go. Kinda pathetic and sad but like, inspiration. 4/10

3) The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals (shot)

Dude are you kidding me?! You abandoned your best friend AFTER your whole lil speech about how much you’d changed and how you love him? Lol you DESERVED that bullet, go fuck yourself08/10

2) The Hatchetfield Ape-Man (shot)

That one was so fucking pathetic. The lengths this guy went to get laid and all that for what? die naked and alone without having even fucked her after pretending for like, weeks? 10/10, unaltered Ted experience at its peak

1) Daddy (shot 4 times)

Complete buffoonery. Useless af, didn’t even get to eat out Sheila or get a chance. My god, that was so pathetic lmao. Just a completely worthless man dying a sad pitiful quick death, shot in the dick. Justice is served. 1,000,000/10 oh my god I still can’t believe it, best scene ever!

I said what I said. Boy was out to eat some pussy that night and instead got shot in the dick :/

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reblogged

yknow as much of a fan as I am of the fan concept of the lords and their prophets, I think it's really interesting that Wiggly is the only one we've seen actually explicitly take a prophet outside of Wilbur, who's a servant to all of them

Blinky has followers in the form of his park staff yeah, but none of them seem in any way above the others, and they're not really spreading a will or a message of any kind, they're just helping his show play out

Tinky's just fucking around so that's not necessary for him

you could MAYBE argue that Roman is Nibbly's prophet but that's a big maybe to me, Nibbly's on the same level as Tinky, he doesn't have a will to spread or much of an explicit goal he's just here to take sacrifice and eat. I don't see Roman as a prophet as much as just another worshipper

forced Pokey prophet Paul is the one I could see the most and I may write a whole other post about that concept vs the prophet Hidgens idea sometime, but that's another thing and I'm probably just biased anyway. theres a big difference between fanon I enjoy and whats likely in canon, and canon-wise? Pokey has and needs no prophet, he spreads on his own and kills every host

but Linda was hand-chosen, given a title, informed of her duty by basically an apostle himself. Wiggly gave this thought, clearly, and chose someone best suited for his solo plans, and it looks like he's the only one. I dunno I just think it's interesting

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