Imagine Ron and Harry having a sleepover and before going to sleep Harry jokingly says "aren't you gonna give me a goodnight kiss?" and Ron just goes and kisses his forehead. No hesitation, no big deal for him.

And he doesn't know it's the first time someone gives Harry a goodnight kiss since his parents died.

And it's natural to Ron because at this point Harry is family. He used to kiss little Ginny's forehead like he observed his family did, stopped when they were teens cause they both would cringe. But Fred and George used to smooch everyone's heads out of nowhere (usually after successful pranks) laughing. Bill kissed Fleurs temples when they had to quickly part. Charlie, after Ron listened to him talk about dragons for hours and engaging in conversation, 'thanks' and kiss on the forehead before ruffling his hair (which is also a thing between Weasleys siblings! Harry got his hair ruffled all back in 1st year and even if it's headcanon created by movie scene (at the end of one movie one of the twins pats Ron's head while he's petting Harry's) I absolutely love it) Arthur would come to check up on his sleeping children after long day of work, giving forehead kisses as goodnights. And Molly oh of course Molly would give kisses any any gives occasion, cheeks to greet you, brows when you were sick and forehead for good dreams. Even Percy! Fred and George would tease him "no kiss goodnight?" so eventually he gave up fighting and was just giving it to them.

So when Harry teases him it seems most natural to lean in and give him kiss goodnight.

Cause that's what family does. He doesn't question it, it's like helping to set the table, borrowing your siblings' stuff, shaking hands when you greet someone.

It brings me SO MUCH joy that the plot of Chamber of Secrets basically happens because Lucius is terrified out of his mind of Arthur and Molly Weasley and their SEVeN kids who were all raised to hold the line in case anyone tried to start a genocidal regime again. They are so powerful and so dangerous to any attempted rise to power from the Death Eaters, and Lucius feels the need to try and marginalize and demonize them in order to decrease the threat they pose.

And boy was he right to be concerned, they are…unstoppable. Each and every one of them. You thought it was impressive that it took five Death Eaters to kill their uncles? Try having a couple Weasleys illegally on the airwaves, one destroying Voldemort’s Horcruxes, one protesting at Hogwarts, one running loose in the government, one housing escaped prisoners, and one getting foreign support!! More children than they can afford? Try more children than you can effectively stop!!

And then when they ALL show up to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts? What a trip for Lucius Malfoy! Hey bigots! Would you like to pick an opponent based on which Quidditch position they excel at, or do you wanna roll the dice and go with one of the brothers who got 12 OWLs? Those are your only two options because Weasleys are EVERYWHERE and the weak link is NO ONE. The fear that must have been in his heart when one or two of them was around every corner of the school taking down his DE pals…is so amazing to think about. Glorious. Iconic. Every Weasley has red hair, freckles, and a drive to destroy the concept of blood purity at all cost!!

The Weasleys are not always nice or right, but they are GOOD and they believe in standing up for what is good, and when evil is around they SHOW UP to fight it. No questions asked. And evil is so scared of them, so worried about what they can do, that it resorts to desperately weaponizing a little girl to try and stop them.

THIS IS AMAZING!!!! GO, WEASLEYS!!!

things in the hp series that i didn’t realise were dodgy as a child: bill weasley’s job seems to be breaking into tombs in egypt on behalf of the british banking system

It could be, but there are several confounding factors that I think you’d really have to establish details on before you could say one way or another.

They seem to require permits and the help of the Egyptian Magical Government. It’s possible this is a sitting colonialist government, but it’s also possible this is the Egyptian people doing research on their own magical heritage, and asking for help from experts around the world for various specific purposes.

Also, he’s not working for the British government, he’s working for the goblins. They seem to have their own governmental structure, and the worldwide shape of it may be substantially different from the modern nation-state as we know it. We also don’t know where they’re originally from (could be Egypt), or how their various diasporas and ghettoizations occurred. It’s possible they’re paying him to repatriate stolen goblin goods; after all, Ancient Egypt was certainly an imperialist society, so Magical Ancient Egypt would likely be as well.

If the goblins are interfering in objects belonging to different peoples and cultures, it’s important to know which government(s) they’re working for. Are they working for the British, really? Or the Egyptians either at the behest of or against the wishes of the British government? Some other party with a grievance, or an unrelated third party?

Also: how old are these curses he’s breaking? Since Magical Britain is posited as continuous with older British Fantasy Cultures (like King Arthur, etc.), then Magical Egypt could still be run by the Ancient Egyptian dynasties (new ones, but contiguous). Maybe they’re actually very new, and he’s just a regular bank robber or doing some kind of museum heist. Or, even if they’re older, if the Ancient Egyptians are still a major colonizing force, then robbing their 1% doesn’t really carry the same weight as it does in our world.

Alternately, I think it’s possible that he’s actually cursebreaking on muggle archaeological expeditions. Because they don’t know about magic (and aren’t allowed to know, as per modern regulations), they can’t stop from being cursed, so the magical government has to assign people like Bill to watch them and uncurse anything they find that happens to be cursed. Because Gringotts is an international organization, the paperwork is also a lot less tricky if they primarily use Gringotts employees, especially if the archaeological expeditions cross into multiple magical territories (which are probably not the same as muggle countries), which would otherwise cause an international incident.

the most unrealistic thing about harry potter

is that no teacher ever called him James by accident, or that Ron never was called “Bill-, eh Charl-, no Per-, argh!”

As a younger sister who knows this struggle all too well: THIS IS REAL. Pretty sure 70% of my past teachers still think I’m called what my sister is called in fact.

Imagine Fred being called Percy by McGonagall accidentally and then he gets so offended that he refers to her by “Professor [insert any other name but McGonagall” for the rest of the year, costing Gryffindor a considerable amount of points one at a time.

From then on, she vows to just call them all Mr Weasley.

Until Ginny comes along and she calls her Mr Weasley by accident and Ginny “accidentally’ calls her Sir and it starts again.

It’s lightly off-topic but also slightly relevant but I have long cherished this mental image of Professor Snape saying something snappish to Harry in just the wrong tone of voice and Harry absentmindedly, wearily, and completely accidentally responding with, “Yes, Aunt Petunia.”

which would have all kinds of additional ramifications when you remember snape is the only one who knew petunia personally

He asks Harry to stay after class and straight up asks him “Am I truly that unpleasant?”

Okay, okay, okay, this is probably deeply off-track, but all I can think of is Harry––who upon learning that Snape, of all people, his pain in the neck potions professor knows his aunt––has now received what can only be called a psychic punch to balls. 

How, how, how, is a teenage boy supposed to rectify this, mentally? Connect these strange unjoined worlds to somehow explain that Snape––Snape!––knows his Aunt Petunia?

“It doesn’t make any sense, mate,” Harry tells Ron, blearily, desperately wishing at age thirteen years that his butter beer was a real beer. “It just––it can’t be. Why would he know Aunt Petunia?” Ron grimaces. “Why would he want to? I mean, I know he’s Snape, and all that, but––”

Harry writes his only letter back to #4 Privet Drive, dotted with tears, and it has one line: How do you know Severus Snape?

Petunia writes back: DO NOT MENTION THAT MAN EVER AGAIN. 

And this. This. Sparks a light in Harry’s head. This is the same way Petunia talks about celebrities who have deeply, personally offended her. Usually when she fancied them and then they got married. It’s so completely clear to him, now: Snape is deeply, irrevocably, utterly in love with Aunt Petunia. 

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