PRETTY, PRETTY UGLY

Every. single. time. Even if it's something incredibly simple that I've ordered a million times before. 🤦‍♀️

True story. She wouldn't send a text for me after I interrupted her. lol

Between anxiety and fibromyalgia, my motivation typically runs dry. When I have it, I use every drop. I especially hate making phone calls, so I save up a bunch and do them all in a row.

I've been thinking about how many embarrassing moments I have left in my life and that I'll never know for sure when they're going to happen.

I realized earlier today that I haven't made a new Pretty, Pretty Ugly comic in quite a while. This past summer was busy with trips and zine fests and enjoying the sunshine. Now I'm ready to get focused on my art again! I've been working a lot on my book recently, but wanted to take a break and make a new comic. This one is about the change I've noticed in myself the past few years. As self-care has become more prominent in my life and I've gotten better at saying no, I worry that maybe I've swung too far the other way. Maybe I am being selfish by worrying about myself first all the time. It's hard to remember that I can't care for others unless I care for myself. As long as I am not missing out on things I truly want, it is still healthy to say no.

It’s always the best when I’m about to pretend I’m making a phone call to avoid interacting with someone I’m passing, but they do it first. Or if they cross the street to avoid me right as I’m thinking of doing the same. Thank you to all the other awkward people out there! 

New Year's has never been one of my favorite holidays. I wonder if I did enough the past year and I reflect on the challenges that the next year might bring. Like many of you, I am glad 2017 is over. My anxiety was very bad, I felt like I missed out on and neglected some opportunities, and I felt pulled in many directions that I wasn't able to talk to anyone about. There were a few highlights though, and I realized that part of why this year was so tough is that I pushed myself to do a lot of things that terrified me. I planned a wedding, I got married, I went to Jamaica, I drove to Chicago by myself, and I started working on a graphic novel. In order to get through these events, I had to shove my anxiety down quite often. I thought I was managing it, but I was really just ignoring it. It left me emotionally exhausted and in constant physical pain, and all I wanted to do most of the year was rest on the couch. I've come to accept that maybe that is how I had to get through this crazy stressful year, but I'm hoping to get back to my healthier and more productive coping strategies in the coming year. When you start to feel yourself burning out, you have to ask whether you are managing your stress or ignoring it.

Anxiety makes it hard to focus on what's going on around you. Between constantly worrying about what's going to happen next and cringing about something embarrassing you did 3 months ago, it's hard to remain present.

When I have too much to do, I get nothing done.

I have done this my whole life, and despite it never working the way I expect, I have no plans to stop.

I'm so worried about misusing the angry face! P.S. I used to do spot color on my illustrations, I'm thinking I'm going to try doing it again.

I am an expert avoidance cleaner.

Every. Single. Time. 

Wednesday Comic Update:

Seriously guys, help us anxious people out!

I've been pushing myself out of my comfort zone for quite a while now and I've been having a lot of great experiences. But it also means I've only had 3 weekends in the past 5 months where I didn't either have to work or travel a couple hours out of town. It is definitely catching up to me. I've been squishing down all the anxious thoughts and physical symptoms of anxiety. I've only cried a few times in the past several months, but in the past week I've cried 4 times. My body won't allow me to keep ignoring things. After the holidays are over, I hope to relax and get some much needed mental rest. I'm going to enjoy what's left of my hectic schedule, and then take care of myself.

Wednesday comic update!:

I definitely having resting nice face. A lady at Target once asked me to get her credit card out of her back pocket because she just got her nails done...

Wednesday comic update!:

I hate scaring people, but I also hate getting in their way, so I try to slide past them, but then I end up accidentally scaring them because I’m too quiet.