Dispatches from the Middle Circle

This could save your life.

BOOST.

Absolutely vital information to have if you live where the waters freeze over.

I especially appreciate this guy's commitment to actually showing the steps himself. That cold-shock response is a bitch and willingly subjecting himself to it couldn't have been fun.

I don’t live anywhere near water like this, but I am still memorizing this knowledge because:

* I might use it in a story someday.

* Any knowledge that staves off the dying is good knowledge.

interesting. I have used the "relax" technique just in cold Windchill situations... like walking across a college campus in December and January. I would be shivering and shaking and tenser than a curtain rod in a doorway. And then I would relax my muscles and all of a sudden I could stop shaking. I had no idea this was a real thing, but I told a few people who were suffering to just relax and they thought I was crazy. But it just works.

by Marina Fomina

stay frosty

I hope I get to experience a silent, muted winter night of snow and mist this year

winter driving tips from a new englander 

sometimes you’re just not gonna stop. its okay. dont freak out. youll stop eventually. just dont follow anyone too closely and dont slam on your brakes they are not your friend

the road is often worse when you think it looks fine. ice during the day is a bitch, if its snowing and the road looks okay just pretend its a sheet of ice

people will tailgate you in giant SUVs, dont speed up for them. let them pass you, or pull off if they wont pass you. if they wanna die thats their prerogative 

following a plow is fucking obnoxiously slow but its also probably the safest way to get home

at some point you’re gonna blow thru a red light because you cant stop. people understand. when your light turns green, wait a few seconds before you go, dont assume that their light being red means the people coming at you can stop

if you see black ice right ahead of you just chill. the first thing ur gonna wanna do is slam on your brakes. do not touch them. just take your foot off the gas and drive through it, and dont try to swerve. just keep going. 

dont stop ever! dont stop on a hill, dont fully stop at a light. just take your foot off the gas and roll to a crawling speed until the light turns. its harder to get going from a complete stop than from a crawling speed because physics is an asshole 

drive as slow as you need to to feel safe, and if anyone has a problem with it eat them 

I thought this was going to be a creepy text post about like new England gothic but really it’s just good tips for how it gets to be in our area

the only creepy thing here is how slowly im gonna be creeping towards every red light 

THIS. Maintain speed especially going uphill. Your natural instinct is to slow down. DON’T. If you lose momentum, you could slide down the hill and cause a pileup if anyone is behind you.

I have a totaled car to vouch for this.

This is especially true if you have a pickup truck or an SUV. They’re higher off the ground and easier to flip. If you have to steer, be gentle about it. Don’t yank the wheel and risk over correcting.

While we’re on this subject, put concrete blocks or sandbags in the bed if you have a truck. Nothing skids like a rear-wheel drive pickup with no weight in the back.

Lastly, if you have to choose between hitting an oncoming car and hitting a tree or power pole—HIT THE TREE OR POWER POLE. It’s way worse to hit a moving object than a stationary one. And insurance is complicated enough when there isn’t another driver involved in the accident. Subrogation is a B.

It REALLY is, and this is also applicable to ‘worse to hit a moving object than a stationary one’, SOMETIMES. It’s all about vectors. Hitting a moving object in oncoming traffic will result in a MUCH worse collision than bumping a car going the same way

obviously insurance will then be a larger bitch to deal with but

This does bring up a point. If you’re stopped and see someone about to rear end you, and you can step on the gas—do it. You don’t need to have much speed to take a lot of sting out of the impact.

You’ll still have insurance to deal with, but less damage to both vehicles and hopefully fewer injuries.

I should also point out that if you drive where Winter is certainly a thing, you NEED a trunk shovel.

While it may only come in use three months out of the year, it will more than pay back your investment the first time you use it.

What I feel you want in a trunk shovel is it to be just big enough to fit in the trunk for starters. Then you’re going to want the “blade” of the shovel to be what my Grandfather called a “coal thrower”; a metal flat squared end to the blade with a bit of a scoop towards the back end. This will allow you to scoop a reasonable amount of snow but also chip through built up ice.

At minimum though, you should at least have a military style entrenching tool in your trunk.

There are two common uses for the trunk shovel. The first is obvious, digging yourself out of snow. This is also useful for digging out under your car if it get stuck; the compressed snow can rip brake lines when you get towed out.

The second is more relevant for urbanites. You can use the trunk shovel to dig out parking spaces, this is incredibly useful in areas with overly enthusiastic Parking Inspectors. One of the few fond memories I have of living in downtown Milwaukee, the area by North Cambridge Avenue, was digging out a parking space after coming home from second shift. That area is one of the many areas where you are never more than 30’ from a bar and if you’re coming home at 11pm all of the spaces that you don’t need to move from by 8am the next morning are taken. So here I am digging out a space and at first some near drunk is laughing at me as I dig out a space until I pointed to the sign. Then they looked at me with something resembling awe.

I should also point out that "Four Wheel Drive" is not "Four Wheel Traction". Furthermore, traction control is nice and all but you can't control nothing.

winter driving tips from a new englander 

sometimes you’re just not gonna stop. its okay. dont freak out. youll stop eventually. just dont follow anyone too closely and dont slam on your brakes they are not your friend

the road is often worse when you think it looks fine. ice during the day is a bitch, if its snowing and the road looks okay just pretend its a sheet of ice

people will tailgate you in giant SUVs, dont speed up for them. let them pass you, or pull off if they wont pass you. if they wanna die thats their prerogative 

following a plow is fucking obnoxiously slow but its also probably the safest way to get home

at some point you’re gonna blow thru a red light because you cant stop. people understand. when your light turns green, wait a few seconds before you go, dont assume that their light being red means the people coming at you can stop

if you see black ice right ahead of you just chill. the first thing ur gonna wanna do is slam on your brakes. do not touch them. just take your foot off the gas and drive through it, and dont try to swerve. just keep going. 

dont stop ever! dont stop on a hill, dont fully stop at a light. just take your foot off the gas and roll to a crawling speed until the light turns. its harder to get going from a complete stop than from a crawling speed because physics is an asshole 

drive as slow as you need to to feel safe, and if anyone has a problem with it eat them 

I thought this was going to be a creepy text post about like new England gothic but really it’s just good tips for how it gets to be in our area

the only creepy thing here is how slowly im gonna be creeping towards every red light 

THIS. Maintain speed especially going uphill. Your natural instinct is to slow down. DON’T. If you lose momentum, you could slide down the hill and cause a pileup if anyone is behind you.

I have a totaled car to vouch for this.

This is especially true if you have a pickup truck or an SUV. They’re higher off the ground and easier to flip. If you have to steer, be gentle about it. Don’t yank the wheel and risk over correcting.

While we’re on this subject, put concrete blocks or sandbags in the bed if you have a truck. Nothing skids like a rear-wheel drive pickup with no weight in the back.

Lastly, if you have to choose between hitting an oncoming car and hitting a tree or power pole—HIT THE TREE OR POWER POLE. It’s way worse to hit a moving object than a stationary one. And insurance is complicated enough when there isn’t another driver involved in the accident. Subrogation is a B.

It REALLY is, and this is also applicable to ‘worse to hit a moving object than a stationary one’, SOMETIMES. It’s all about vectors. Hitting a moving object in oncoming traffic will result in a MUCH worse collision than bumping a car going the same way

obviously insurance will then be a larger bitch to deal with but

This does bring up a point. If you’re stopped and see someone about to rear end you, and you can step on the gas—do it. You don’t need to have much speed to take a lot of sting out of the impact.

You’ll still have insurance to deal with, but less damage to both vehicles and hopefully fewer injuries.

I should also point out that if you drive where Winter is certainly a thing, you NEED a trunk shovel.

While it may only come in use three months out of the year, it will more than pay back your investment the first time you use it.

What I feel you want in a trunk shovel is it to be just big enough to fit in the trunk for starters. Then you're going to want the "blade" of the shovel to be what my Grandfather called a "coal thrower"; a metal flat squared end to the blade with a bit of a scoop towards the back end. This will allow you to scoop a reasonable amount of snow but also chip through built up ice.

At minimum though, you should at least have a military style entrenching tool in your trunk.

There are two common uses for the trunk shovel. The first is obvious, digging yourself out of snow. This is also useful for digging out under your car if it get stuck; the compressed snow can rip brake lines when you get towed out.

The second is more relevant for urbanites. You can use the trunk shovel to dig out parking spaces, this is incredibly useful in areas with overly enthusiastic Parking Inspectors. One of the few fond memories I have of living in downtown Milwaukee, the area by North Cambridge Avenue, was digging out a parking space after coming home from second shift. That area is one of the many areas where you are never more than 30' from a bar and if you're coming home at 11pm all of the spaces that you don't need to move from by 8am the next morning are taken. So here I am digging out a space and at first some near drunk is laughing at me as I dig out a space until I pointed to the sign. Then they looked at me with something resembling awe.

The American Midwest is being hit with dangerous blizzards and subzero temps that can cause frostbite in under ten minutes and my dad is outside grilling burgers.

You guys are having a great time in the notes but my dad is having a better time in the snow.

hello!

Is there a word for that like, “bright darkness” you get in winter?? When it’s been snowing or it’s supposed to snow past sunset and the sky isn’t Dark Enough. One of my favorite things

Thanks to @raindropwindow and a handful of articles, it’s called snow albedo, skyglow, snowglow, or just light scattering! It’s the result of moon- or artificial light reflecting off ground snow, low clouds, or ice crystals.

that nsfw snow…

Aurora and frozen trees

lorenzmira_lapland

WINTR001.WMF, modified December 15, 1995, 4:51 AM; from the Masterclips 35,000 clip-art CDROM.

Yeah so winter arrived to Europe. Hate it.

For snow removal we have this huge two sided tool that is a broom on one end and a scraper on the other. First you broom the car from the lighter snow and then scrape the windshield from the ice. For US friends: it’s illegal in Poland to leave your car running on neutral on the parking lot to thaw by itself. I know. Stupid.

MILL.WMF, clipart from the disc accompanying the November 1995 issue of Personal Computer World magazine. Via cd.textfiles.com.

i love how hyenas still have the winter coat gene

like if you keep hyenas in cold climates they just do this. its so silly