Crossover fanatic

Headcanon Cass cuts short phrases for time and then accidentally ends up misusing them. Cass: First off, Bruce doesn't know what he's-

Babs, processing: 'First of all?'

Cass: -talking about- what?

Babs: You said 'first off' when I think you meant 'first of all.'

Cass, who thought it was 'first off' like crossing off a list: ... *Glares*

Babs: No, no, I agree with you. I just thought- nevermind. Carry on.

Cass: ... Bruce doesn't know what he's talking about-

Or:

Cass, dropping into Dick's place unannounced: Long story, I need you to help me track someone down. Dick, thinking: ... You mean 'long story short?'

Cass: ... Are you going to help me or not?!

Dick, already pulling out his gear: Way ahead of you.

Alfred once wished Bruce would have children much worse than he ever was. He didn't know exactly how much he'd regret his words.... Or maybe not. He loves the kids.

A parent can both love and regret their kids. I know mine do.

If any of them got therapy that poor therapist would need their own therapist

Trick question

There's no right answer. They all need therapy the most. It's just that the world can only handle giving 2-3 of them therapy and even that can't be simultaneously. There has to be at least a five year gap. Any more than that and we'll be overrun with therapists that have turned into rogues and no one will ever keep up

Bruce is coparenting literally all this children.

He coparents Dick with Clark.

He coparents Jason and Damian with Talia

He coparents Tim with Lady Shiva

He coparents Steph with her literal mom

He coparents Barbara with her literal dad

He coparents Duke with Luke

Cass is like the only child that he is the sole custodian over lol.

From now on I absolutely headcanon that Bruce has shared custody with all of them but Cass and has to constantly remember pick up and drop off times for 7 different children across 6 coparents.

(Yes I choose to believe Bruce must pick up and drop off his adult children as well fight me)

And this is why Cass is the favorite.

I mean, all of them are ready to give Vicky an exclusive about how sweet their stepdad Batman is.

Steph writes BatBruce fanfics on AO3 because SHE WOULD.

I love how this poll literally agreed that it's the two nepo babies