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#laura marano – @karihighman on Tumblr
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Kari

@karihighman / karihighman.tumblr.com

Writer•Reader•Dreamer
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December 2nd, 2015: the day the cast remembered 4 years of Austin & Ally.  I’m fine, really. :’)  I swear – this is the best show Disney’s ever made. This cast kills me in the best way possible…..so much love for all of them, no matter what. Happy four years guys, it’s been fun seeing the journey with ya!! <3 :) 

Oh my god it'll be FIVE YEARS OF AUSTIN AND ALLY tomorrow. I can't.

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Begin Again.

He hadn’t seen her in 6 months.  But somehow that didn’t matter.  She was still the same girl he’d left behind.  

 She hadn’t seen him in a long time.  And she couldn’t just forget that.  She wasn’t the same girl that she was when he left.

 ______________________________________________________________________

And now we’re back everyone!  The cast of Austin & Ally is here today as guests for Laura’s first radio show episode! Please give it up for Ross Lynch, Raini Rodriguez, and Calum Worthy!  And here’s your host of For The Record, Laura Marano!”  the producer called out on the air.  

Laura took her seat across from her three castmates.  Raini and her were wearing dressy jumpsuits, while Calum and Ross had opted for black and white suits.  Raini, Calum and Ross all looked bright eyed and bushy tailed while she faked the same tone. She hoped they couldn’t tell she was nervous.  She hadn’t exactly gotten much sleep the night before this.  This was her big moment: her own show, and for Radio Disney nonetheless. She couldn’t believe it.  She was also nervous about seeing everyone again. Sure, she’d seen Raini a few times for movie hangouts and promotional events, and the two of them had hung out with Calum, but she hadn’t actually been in the same place with Ross since the Paley Fest back in May of 2015.  And now it was January of 2016 – and she couldn’t stop her heart from pounding in her chest as she said her opening lines into her mic.  

“Hey guys, it’s Laura Marano and you’re listening to For The Record!  I have with me, three very special people….you may know them….from Austin and Ally – Ross, Raini and Calum!”  

The interment applause sounded, and her three castmates said their own cheers into their mic sets. She smiled at them, and she went on with a few of her preset questions.  They chatted and laughed, just like old times.  She even commented on their mustaches they decided to sport, just for fun.  She giggled when Ross had trouble getting his off, and they all cracked up when Raini just decided to rip it off to save time.  

 She took in a breath of air before asking the next question.  “So what was your favorite memory from set?”  

Ross jumped in first, answering with this: “I remember…for whatever reason, that they wouldn’t let us kiss.  And it was so awkward, but Laura and I were just like, we just decided to do it anyway. But no, remember the first day when we did it, I had, I had a really big zit.”

“Everybody breaks out.” She replied, looking at him, seeing that his gaze was still on her from across the table.  She swiveled in her chair, glancing at Calum and Raini, hoping they’d chime in too.  

 “Yeah, but it was just like, so embarrassing.  It hadn’t happened to me really before.”  He finished, laughing and turning towards the other two on his side.  

 Raini and Calum said their pieces, and the show was just about finished.  Laura asked them for advice, to which they said that she’d do great, and that if anyone could have their own radio show, it’d be her.  

“Alright, guys, well that’s it!  And now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go give my castmates hugs!”  She said into her mic, and then she flew out of her chair and ran over to them for a group hug.  Calum got her first, but then Raini joined in.  Ross clung to the edge, but she could feel that he was a part of it too.

                                     *******************************

After all the cameras were off and their interviews were finished, Laura let out a breath and sat back down on the couch in her dressing room.  They were still at the Radio Disney studios, but her portion of the show was done.  Raini and Calum were filming a couple shorter segments to air at a later date, but she was done for the day.  Which meant that Ross was too.  She knew he had to get back to his European leg of the tour – which meant he’d need to leave ASAP.  She wished she didn’t care so much about that….the fact that he had to leave again. But she couldn’t help it.  She did care….about his leaving, his tour, his girlfriend Courtney, his band, his family, his life, all of it.  God Laura, just admit it, you care about him.  Of course she cared about him.  It was hard not to care about someone you’d spent the last four years of your life with.

Did they date? No.  Were they close?  Absolutely. Did they ever kiss?  Yes, but solely for the show.  Did people think otherwise?  Yeah, sure…but no matter what they thought, her and Ross always maintained that they were just friends.  And that was true.  Although if that was the whole truth, then that thought of ‘what if’ wouldn’t be lingering in the back of her mind.  

 They always had a strong connection.  A good repore.  A bond that no one else shared.  They shared secrets, they knew each other’s favorite things.  Friends do that stuff.  But friends don’t go to movies in Austrailia alone.  Friends don’t really share hotel rooms.  Friends don’t really fly half way around the world for one concert or one show.  But they did. Because friends do support each other. That’s all it is.  She’d always say that to reassure herself.  And remind her heart to not get too attached, alothough that never seemed to stop it from happening.  If it were successful, then she wouldn’t feel a pang of sadness in her chest and a tear threatening to slip down her cheek now.  

 She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of music playing.  She realized she pressed her Taylor Swift playlist on by accident. ‘Breathe’ came on first, and while her first instinct was to change it, she decided to let it play for a bit and sung along quietly.  It fit, at least for her thoughts right now.  She hummed along as she shifted in the comfy couch, her legs crossing into a pretzel position.  She leaned back into the pillow and let the words wash over her.  It’s 2AM, feeling like I just lost a friend.  Hope you know it’s not easy for me.  It’s 2AM feeling like I just lost a friend, hope you know this ain’t easy for me. And we know it’s never simple, never easy.  Never a clean break, no one here to save me.  I can’t breathe without you, but I have to.  As those words pierced her soul, she swore she heard a knock on her door. Thinking it was one of the producers telling her to come back out, she got up and set her phone down, leaving a hum of ‘This Love’ in the background absentmindedly.  

When she pulled open her door, she saw the last person she ever expected.  Ross.  

 “Hey Laur, can I come in?” His shirt collar was unbuttoned slightly, and she saw his signature R5 necklace peeking out.  His hair was slightly more disheveled than this morning, probably because his sunglasses weren’t holding it back anymore.  The faint smile on his lips was surprisingly unchanged and, well, normal.  

 “Ross.”  She whispered, bringing her hand to her mouth slightly.  “Hi. Yeah, sure.”  She gestured and slid to the side out of his way.  He took a few steps inside as she closed the door behind him.  He sat down on the left end of the couch, and she sat near him, but not as close as she used to.

 “I don’t bite you know.” He leaned over and whispered, biting his lip a bit while smiling at her.  

 “I know.”  She said softly, not making eye contact with him. She knew if she looked directly into his eyes she’d be a goner.  She found her phone and was about to switch the music off when he spoke.  

 “Laura, look at me, please.” When she heard his voice grow stern, she swore she stopped breathing.  She dropped her phone into her lap and forced herself to look up at him. His brown eyes locked onto her own, and she was afraid she’d cry or scream right then and there.  

 She could hear her music lightly through her phone, even though the headphones were still in.  She hoped he couldn’t hear it too.  Your kiss, my cheek.  I watched you leave.  Your smile, my ghost.  I fell to my knees.  When you’re young you just run but you come back to what you need.

 “What do you want, Ross?” She asked, but she could hear the desperation in her voice.  It sounded more like a distressed plea than a calm question.  Dammit.  

 “I want you, Laura.  I want you.  I, I need you back.”  He softly said, scooting closer to her.  His eyes were peering into hers, and she felt like he could see right through her.

 “I, you…no, you, you can’t. Ross, you can’t do this to me.  No I won’t let you!  You can’t just waltz in here and tell me you want me?  I mean, honestly, what the hell does that even mean coming from you, huh?  What was I supposed to say back to that?  Oh yes, Ross, please take me!  I want you back in my life too?!”  She realized her voice was rising as she spoke every word, but she didn’t care. She was now angered and sad – a lethal combination for a brokenhearted girl.  

 “Yes, Laura!  That’s exactly what I want you to say!  I, we, we’re friends, aren’t we?  I want you back in my life!  You barely talked to me outside of the show all day today.  We always talked.  We always let each other in.  You didn’t even say goodbye, so that’s why I came back here. I needed to tell you goodbye.”  

 “Oh right, of course Ross. Well, okay then, goodbye.”  She huffed at him, letting a sigh out of her system.  Her hands were balled up into little fists, and she stood up and opened the door for him to leave.  

                                          ************************

He stood up from the couch, but he only moved in front of her, not out the door like she wanted.  

 “Ross, please, just leave.” She said, her voice almost cracking with sadness.  She could feel her eyes well up with tears, but she sucked them back in to avoid looking like an idiot.  She wouldn’t let herself cry in front of him, not like this.  

 “Laura, I–“  He tried, but she stopped him.  

 “No Ross, just GET OUT OF HERE.  Get out of my room, and out of my life just like you planned!  You said goodbye, and I said goodbye.  That’s what you wanted.  I’m in your life, today proved it, okay.  That’s what you wanted, right?  You got it – so get out. Now.”  She said, her voice breaking and tears falling down her cheeks.  

 “Laura, no please, I didn’t mean to make you cry.  I, what I said before, it didn’t come out right.  I meant that I need you in my life as Laura.  My Laura.  I want my Laura back.  Please, come back to me.”  He barely got out the last part before she saw that his eyes were fresh with tears threatening to fall.  

 “Ross, I…I can’t.  We can’t.  You, you’re with Courtney; I’m with Andrew.  We finally moved on, didn’t we?  I…we…it just – I just, I–“  she was cut off by his lips on hers.  He kissed her with such passion that she wrapped her arms around him and he led her back to the couch.   “I love you, Ross.”  She said in between kisses.  “I love you too, Laura.  That’s why I’m here.  Always for you.”  He said, kissing her back.  

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