*you are* - second sentence ... but still, this hit home. 🖤

🖤💭

Current Mood in Quotes

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How I’ve been feeling this last week and a half.

“She didn’t like herself like this, either. But she couldn’t go back to being the girl she’d been before; that girl was gone. So where did that leave her?” | “These days her entire life was about making people believe she was someone she wasn’t anymore.” -both from: Jodi Picoult, The Tenth Circle 

I have had a rough few days, especially within the last 24 hours. It’s Week 15, so I’ve got all this typical-college-senior-finals-week-is-coming level stress, but then adding that on top of all of my other things I’ve got going on, and I feel like a mess right now. It just sucks because I let it get the best of me; and I’ve gone too far from where I was before…almost enough that I feel like I need to carve out a new path in order to get back. Back on track with things. Back to normal. It’s just a difficult line to navigate when you know your methods before weren’t working, so obviously you need to change some things up.

I need to remember this more. 

  I’ve written about perspective & hindsight before, and it has served me well, making little changes. But for right now – today anyway – I’m thinking I need to make a few major changes. Just to restructure some of my habits so I can have some clarity again. Like even if it’s something smaller, it’ll be a major improvement for me because I’ve let a lot of my healthier habits go out the window this last week and a half or so. I know that admitting I’ve screwed up is “half the battle” but I also know that reestablishing my better ways will take time (aka: I have to remember it won’t be instantaneous or happen overnight – I just hope my perfectionist mind will hear me out).

Slowly but surely, I have lost my way. But I’m going to find my way back. I am going to get back; I am getting back: to myself.

Wish me luck. I’m not starting over, just getting back to it. Happy Friday  -K.

Same sort of thing, just a different day. “She didn't like herself like this, either. But she couldn't go back to being the girl she'd been before; that girl was gone.

Girl Meets Maya [Who Is Riley?]

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be you.” -Riley to Maya

“Why?” -Maya to Riley [and the convo continues back & forth like this]

“Because you’ve always been stronger than me and now you proved it.” 

“How?”

“Maya, I only ever talked about it, but you actually did it. You. Became. Me.” 

“Riley, just because I’m wearing an outfit similar to yours doesn’t make me you.”

maya is right here -- an outfit doesn’t make a person, it’s a part of a person’s expression. 

“Hair–”

“Just because I’m wearing my hair like you today, it doesn’t make me you–”

again, she’s right. hair is only an outward expression of self. not inner self. 

“Maya–”

“Clothes and hair, big deal! Name me one thing of real significance that you and I share, in common that has to do with the inside, that affects us emotionally.”

“What’s wrong with us both liking a nice guy?”

“Do we?” 

how can riley question her best friend? maya never questioned her. maya has only tried to help riley. 

“What’s wrong with who I am now?”

there is nothing (and should be nothing) wrong with maya changing into someone better. there is not a thing wrong with her trying to grow up. 

“Maya the world has one of me, it needs one of you.”

“My voice is still my voice, Riley. You’re gonna need to show me a lot more than clothes and hair and a boy before I believe that it isn’t.” -most powerful line in the show. 

PS: Riley may have not become Maya, but she certainly hasn’t been herself [herself as in: Riley hasn’t been Riley] over the years, either. See below....

Exhibit A (Season 1 - Girl Meets Popular): Riley becomes Fakle’s nerdy leader. 

Exhibit B (Season 2 - Girl Meets Yearbook): Riley turns into a gothic chick with no emotions and no feelings towards anything or anyone. Maya only turns into Riley to bring her back to a positive light....not to berate her.

Aaaaand, Exhibit C (Season 3 - Girl Meets Jexica, ironically just 2 episodes before GMT): 

Riley turned into her alter ego, Jexica, because she thought people would like her this way. Maya even halted her and explained how it would work, but Riley didn’t listen and only went on with her original plan. I’m not hating on Riley, and I do understand that it’s a fictional show -- but it just bugs me that Maya’s change was turned into a negative thing instead of a positive thing. Like everyone but Maya was telling her how she was supposed to feel. That’s not right -- it’s no wonder she ended up being influenced by Josh in Ski Lodge because Riley had kept bugging her in the following episodes.

I mean, think about it: if someone kept insisting that your new self was bad, wouldn’t you begin to question it too? That’s all I’m saying. 

Here's What Happens When You Lose Yourself

Here’s What Happens When You Lose Yourself

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Self-Care Sunday 🌸 love this quote

I understand this a lot right now 💭

Everything starts somewhere 🌙 🔸 Midnight vibes courtesy of R.M. Drake

• between who you are and who you could be ; between how it is and how it should be • dare you to move-switchfoot