Good afternoon guys — hope you’re enjoying the weekend (or weekday, depending on when you’re reading this). I’m back with a new blog post, a prose poem and some life updates and more new favorite things. Happy reading! -K.
POEM: “I Am So Tired”
I am so tired
Of dealing with the same things
Very tired of seeing the same people, and places,
I am craving
An escape
A chance to see something more, something different
Of wanting to jump out of my own skin
Why do I want the things that aren’t good for me?
Why do I run towards the dark instead of the light?
I am so tired
Of making the same mistakes
Over and over again
Very tired
Of not seeing progress, change, movement forward
Instead seeing the stagnant, the frozen, the lost.
I am so tired
Of being so lost
Of feeling so lonely
Of making myself like this
I am so tired
Of not being all that I am
All that I can be
I am very tired
Of waking up in a nightmare
Instead of in a dreamland.
I am so tired
Of these thoughts + these feelings
Of this perpetuating cycle
Unbroken, unwilling
I am so tired
Of feeling this way
I do not want to be so tired
Of my own self anymore.
*inspired by life as of late; as I am slowly realizing the reality of my actions & the things I need to do to change them. Also, GIFs or images in this post are not my own; all credit goes to original GIF makers/image owners/sites, etc.*
UPDATE + FAVORITES
As far as life has been going for me, it’s been very up & down. Some days have been great, others not so much. And while I’ve been happier in some aspects, others have been lagging. I suppose that’s how it goes for most people, and while I am fighting my perfectionism with “it’s okay if I have ups and downs“, I also have not been trying as much as I could to improve in the aspects of my life that haven’t been as great as of late.
Sometimes I wish I could just drive to clear my head…to really getaway for a while.
It’s the same story, so I won’t bore you (or myself, because honestly, I feel like lately I’ve been writing the same things, just using different words)…but like I said in my poem above, I am very tired of how I’ve been doing things lately; of how I’ve been living, acting, being, I guess. I recently watched some of the movie Spring Breakers, (which is where the GIFs/images are from), and it really describes the kinds of things I’ve been thinking about and feeling recently. Course, I also talked to one of my friends who was feeling down and was unsure as to why — which I also relate to, because while I know exactly why I’m sadder, I don’t know why I keep doing negative things to make it worse for myself instead of better…if that makes any sense at all.
Onto a slightly happier note though, as for things I’ve been loving lately:
- I’m still on a Chicago con high to be honest…it’s been 3 weeks and I still wanna go back to Chicago so bad it kills me, haha. So does my friend Kristen — we had an amazing time there back in September! Also, the epic crossover event is happening this week, and we got to see them film a scene of it, so that was really cool!
- Speaking of Chicago & the shows, I’ve gotten to know a lot of cool people through the fandom, and it’s made social media really fun to go onto as of late to chat w/like-minded people. Plus I got Kristen into it too, so that’s always fun to have a friend 🙂
- I’ve been doing A LOT more writing, both for OCC & FTV. I got to take on more assignments, and more coverage for the shows, so that’s been fun! Check out my recent articles here & here (yes, most are Chicago related, haha. #SorryNotSorry).
- Music wise, I have still been loving soundtracks, or songs that seem like they should be used in movies or something!! Tommee Profitt, who produced the song “There’s a Hero in You” which was used in the #OneChicago promo, also produced another song called “Monsters” that is amazing. “Sound of War” sounds like it belongs in like, a Justice League or Narnia movie or something, so there’s that one too. Other songs I’ve been liking are: “Don’t Call Me Up” by Mabel; “Takeaway” by The Chainsmokers ft. Lennon Stella (who I’m actually going to see in concert TONIGHT!); “Die from a Broken Heart” by Maddie & Tae; “Cry for Me” by Camila Cabello, and “Alien” by the Cary Brothers.
- I just recently got back into watching Make It or Break It, the ABC Family (now Freeform) show about world-class gymnasts. I’ve also been watching all 3 Chicago shows (Med, Fire, and PD), as well as the historic 21st season of SVU. I’ve still been really into fan videos on YouTube too, as well as makeup tutorials, which I haven’t watched in forever it seems like!
- I’ve also been getting back into skincare — I still can’t decide if I want to try out Kylie Cosmetics’ Kylie Skin line, but whatever I decide, I definitely wanna get my hands on some new products. If anyone has any recommendations, let me know in the comments!
Alright, that about wraps things up here for today. Thanks for reading & hopefully I’ll get back to posting on here more regularly. Happy Sunday! -K. ♡
A poem, a quick update + my current favorites! Good afternoon guys -- hope you're enjoying the weekend (or weekday, depending on when you're reading this).