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The Stars.

@kaleb-is-definitely-sane / kaleb-is-definitely-sane.tumblr.com

Andromeda — My Princess — Do not yet give up Hope — Behold! — on the back of a winged horse — Your Horizonward Savior Comes —
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Some “Little Women” thoughts – In defense of Meg’s marriage

Whether Little Women is a feminist book or an anti-feminist book will probably be debated forever.

Most of the debate seems to center around the character of Jo: whether she’s depressingly “tamed” in the end or matures in a healthy way, whether her marriage is anti-feminist or not, and whether or not it’s “anti-feminist” that in the end she’s a schoolmistress instead of a famous author. (Though of course she’ll eventually be a famous author in Jo’s Boys.) But similar debate surrounds the other March sisters too, for various reasons.

Not even Meg, the sister whom readers most often seem to overlook, is spared from these debates. Many feminist critics, such as (but not limited to) Samantha Ellis in her book How to Be a Heroine, have criticized the chapters depicting Meg and John Brooke’s married life in Part II. They label those chapters “depressing,” and they feel as if Meg and John are constantly at odds with each other and miserable. They argue that each of their marital conflicts ends with Meg learning to be a more submissive wife who placates and effaces herself for her husband. And they despise John, labeling him “selfish” and “disrespectful.”

Sometimes I wonder if I read the same book that they did.

It seems obvious to me that Meg and John’s marriage is a happy and healthy one: Alcott is just honest about the fact that even the happiest marriage includes conflict and requires work. Some of these critics seem to think fictional marriages only exist in two forms, “perfect” and “toxic,” with no in-betweens. Nor does John deserve half the negative commentary he gets, nor does Meg’s personal growth within her marriage consist of learning to be a submissive or self-effacing wife. On the contrary, much of her growth consists of her learning that she doesn’t need to be a “perfect” housewife and mother who gives and demands too much of herself, and their marriage becomes more of an equal partnership by the end, not less of one.

Let’s look in depth all three of Meg and John’s marital conflicts.

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You don't owe anyone anything.
Life's not fair.
You can't make anyone feel any kind of way. You aren't responsibly for how people feel.

Wrong. All of it is wrong. Somewhat at least. Logically it all makes sense. But you can't possibly read that and think it's right. Because it's not. It may be logically correct but it is not morally right.

No you don't owe me anything, but you should still treat people with kindness and love. Why? Because it's right.

No, what happens in life doesn't always seem fair. But you should still treat people fairly. Why? Because it's right.

Logically speaking, no, you can't make anyone feel any kind of way. And no you don't have a written responsibility to make sure people feel well. But you do morally. Morally you have a responsibility to reach out to the hurting and you should make sure that the words you speak aren't hurting people. Why? Because it's right.

Who cares of something makes sense if it feels wrong. Sense and sensibility.

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My children didn't choose to be born, I chose to have children. They owe me nothing, I owe them everything.

If only more parents understood this.

You created me for your own selfish pleasure. You brought me here. You raised me. Most flaws and imperfections were put there (at least in some part) by you. Raised me up how I am, and then named me Weak, Over-Sensitive, Presumptuous, Vain, Selfish, Wayward, Rebellious etc. Thus morally condemning the child you created for your own selfish pleasure.

You love to take credit for all the good things about me, but what about the bad things? You did those too.

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They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.

-This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin

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