Somehow, you feel my words so deeply and yet you don’t understand them. It’s as if my language cannot express it’s meaning. And so I need a new language. One for us alone, the sun and moon. Right now, I move you to tears but someday I’ll move you to my arms. Right now, I make you say “us” but someday my lips will make you speechless. Someday you’ll be enchanted but not with magic or wonder. No, I’ll enchant you with love and truth. It’ll be raw and I’ll be hurt but… I’m hurting now am I not?
At this point my standards are ridiculous. I’m an idiot. Hard-stop. And yet you, somehow, don’t see that. You call me “cute” and “adorable”. If only you knew the mental damage these words do to me. My heart flutters inside me, beating like I’d just run a mile; my tongue stops working. I just sit there. Staring silently like the aforementioned idiot. I know I joke a lot but I swear: I’m deadly seriously. I’m not like most others. I’m not strong or resilient. My heart does not harden so easily. I tell myself “I won”t let it get to me” but I know the truth. It will.
It has.
Fun fact: every song I hear is about you. Every line and word in every poem or prose. It’s you. It’s always been you. My eyes hold you. My heart pines for you. I love you with so much of my heart and I’ve given you so much of my heart that there is nothing left to deny. But for now, I’m alone. Armed with nothing but deep love and raw words.
