1. bake cupcakes for:

Bake? That's something servants do, right? I am a LADY, I have elves to do that for me. Papa pays them I think and they should be glad of the work!

What was the question again?

Oh I would have a dozen baked for everyone who complimented my hair. But not for that Morrigan creature, she is ill bred and not deserving of my gifts.

2. trust with the keys to my car:

A car? I assume that means the carriage that I ride around in looking all beautiful and perfect. I am probably going to be the Queen of somewhere one day, so I have to practice waving at the peons. I would certainly make that Zevran character my valet, he polishes up quite nice for an elf and could defend my honour if we were attacked by ruffians overcome with consuming lust over my perfection.

3. put thumbtacks on the chair thereof:

Such petty pranks is beneath me, but some people deserve no better. Everyone who ever spurned me or seduced my fragile heart under false pretences. Especially Duncan, though he probably enjoys a prick in his behind.

4. have a crush on:

Crushes are for thoughtless teens. I'm eighteen you know! I thought King Cailan was a studly piece of golden manmeat, but I can't really cope with someone who likes the swarthy man sausage as much as I do. That Alistair boy seems nice, too bad he's not of the peerage and therefore beneath my notice. If only his father were someone important.

5. pack up and leave if they moved next door:

Elves. They should live in forests and alienages, not in houses like real people. And dwarves shouldn't be seen above ground. And mages should stay in the tower where they belong. And Chasind should live in swamps. Orlesians smell funny, especially when they cook. Antivans have too much loud sex at all hours. And don't get me started on those weird Qunari things.

Also all my various ex-lovers. They would just crowd my space with their pathetic coveting of my lovely curves.

6. vote for President:

Proper women have no interest in politics. And we live in a monarchy thank you very much. Cailan's a decent King, but now I know why he has no heirs.

7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie:

Hmm, I am certainly the pretty one, so I'd need someone as comic relief. That Alistair chap seems like a pretty funny guy and he doesn't have the balls to ravish me so I'd be pretty safe with him.

8. pair up:

Hmm, if only there was a handsome, smart, manly and strong heir to the throne that was unwed and in need of a perfect bride. Oh, tragedy! I am doomed to be alone, such is the curse of peerless beauty!

9. vote off the island and into the volcano:

I don't quite understand what this means and I am not the kind of creature who would ever harm another worthy being, of course there are so few people in this world as worthy as myself. I don't care for Loghain much, he didn't even take his armour off when he ravished me. And I resent Wynne for setting me homework when it's clear I am already perfect.

But Morrigan makes smart comments that I don't understand and is kind of pretty so let's dunk her in lava.

10. wheedle into fixing my MP3 player:

Leliana is a bard and as such understands music and menial tasks like that that are far beneath me.