"Kuroba-kun, I still don't get just how this is possible. I know you're crazy, but why are you dating Hakuba?" Heiji was (not quite) seriously concerned for his new acquaintances mental health.

Kaito stalled and thought about telling Heiji, about all the attentive and sweet things Saguru does for him. The adorably charming way Saguru laughs and smiles. About that look he gives Kaito when their eyes meet, that makes Kaito feel all mushy inside because it lets Saguru look like a love stricken puppy. The way Saguru's hugs make him feel like nothing in the world could ever harm them again because this is warm and safe and so incredibly sacred that he never wants it to end. That he never wants them to end.

That's what Kaito would have said if Heiji's comment wouldn't have insulted him, so instead he's being his little goblin self and answers gleefully:" I hate boredom and 9 inches can keep someone quite occupied"

I just remembered a headcanon, where Kaito goes to university and gets an assigned Roommate, who's either Shinichi or Heiji for telling this I'll go with Shinichi. So it's not very elaborate it's basically just about one scene. But Context first:

BO is defeated alongside Snake, and Pandora is destroyed. Shinichi obvs. Has the antidote, he's dating Ran (or Heiji or Shiho you choose), he and Kaito Kid came to an agreement that he wouldn't catch him if he retired (that was kind of a moot point since Kaito planned to stop anyway and Shinichi was never gonna arrest him).

Shinichi took one look at Kaito in their dormroom and was like, Kaito Kid? What the Fuck?

Kaito was also like what the fuck but they then rolled with it (although Shinichi is still not quite used to the particular brand of Crazy that Kaito is) and they become friends.

So as friends Kaito asks Shinichi if he could get lost for the day since his long distance boyfriend is coming to town (and he thinks neither one of them wants shinichi to be there for that 😏)

Kaito tells him that he can come back the next morning if he want to meet him. Shinichi like the food friend he is says sure I'll meet your boyfriend.

So Shinichi crashes at Heijis dormroom. And Heiji insists on coming with him because the crazy dudes got a boyfriend? I gotta see that.

So they get back to their dormroom (really hoping they're not interrupting anything) and come back to the smell of pancakes and no other than Hakuba Saguru, standing in the kitchenette, in nothing but an apron making chocolate pancakes. (Now here just for funsies I like to bring in another headcanon where Saguru has a lot of tattoos and piercings (his favourit is Watson on his back placed just so, so that her wings move when he moves his arms, I don't know if falcons are big enough for that but I'm just gonna assume). Maybe he's even singing along to something on the radio, point is he looks very happy and at ease (my favorite kind of Saguru) Shinichi and especially Heiji are a liiiiitle bit shocked to see a half naked Saguru. He turns around with a fresh batch of Pancakes, startles, gives an awkward chuckle and says that he's gonna go put on some pants. He comes back out of Kaito's Room with a very sleepy Kaito Koala hanging off of him.

After that I'm blank but I can imagine its hilarious

Saguru drunk at a party with the other detectives and some more friends, looking at his glasses : Kaito do you know what the difference between you and my glasses is?

Ai who is guessing what will come : no, nobody here wants to know that.

Heiji forever oblivious to these things: oh come on how bad can it be, it's Hakuba.

Saguru now almost falling into Kaito's side: My glasses sit higher on my face.

Kaito be like:I have very high standards.

Aoko, Makoto, Saguru, Ran, Shinichi, Heiji, Ai, Sera (and many more) : I can and will kick your ass.

Kaito:Oh No! they're meeting my standards (off screen you can hear the sound of a Bisexuel Panic)

Saguru calls Kaito while on a case for advice with disguise stuff

Saguru: you're on speaker so behave.

Kaito: or what? You'll Spank me?

Shinichi:...

Heiji:....

Nakamori:...

General Hakuba: I ship it

I think what makes Saguru as a character so attractive to me, is that's he's practically a free for all when it comes to inserting headcanons, like we have some basics of his background and his character but he doesn't even have a consecutive eye-colour.

Let's maybe start a thread of your favorite head canon about him that has no basis in canon what so ever. One that's just ways out there. I'll start...

... My favourite is that he's attracted to criminals and before the people start complaining that it's pretty much canon that he's in love Kaito I don't really mean that.

I mean that his ex-boyfriends include high-scale drug dealers, (sons of) Yakuza bosses/members, serial killers and one time that he doesn't really like talking about, a cannibal.

Fuck it maybe he realized that Gutenberg is Spider after a few dates with him.

Obviously he let's them all get arrested, his father advises him to start doing some of the tipping off anonymously because once is chance twice is bad luck but after that you have a type and you don't want anyone to know that.

His dad probably sat him down, after he started dating Kaito and told him to not break up with him because this is probably the sanest one he's ever gonna get.