it’s them…

Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted

Wait what.

Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid

oh, my little old lady murder story was her replacing the medication in her abusive husband's capsules with rat poison.

"back in the day, our grandmothers worked on their marriages and didn't get divorced!" nah, friend, they COULDN'T get a divorce so sometimes they killed their fuckin husbands. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.

My college was next to an assisted living facility and one time we went over there to draw people’s portraits so we could get practice drawing older people. The lady I was drawing idly told me that she "dealt quite handily with her first husband” while making a stabbing gesture. Five minutes later she requested I make sure not to draw her double chin. I honored that request.

So when I was a child my grandmother told all these great stories about growing up in the Alaskan wilderness. Amazing bad ass stories about her and my great-grandmother. I recently asked my mom why my great-grandmother moved from Texas to Alaska in the first place. Turns out my Great-grandfather was abusive to my great grandmother for years and she lived with that until the first time he hit my grandmother, who was like three at the time, my great-grandmother got him very drunk and beat him to death then moved to Alaska to hide from the cops.

Men don't realize their life expectancy went up thanks to divorce.

Source

:))))))))

My mom is a gastroenterologist and she once told me that the old wives' tale of people who died of "stopped digestion" was pretty much made up to cover up for women who got fed up with their abusive husbands and slipped some rat poison into their dinner (esp in rural areas). Local doctors knew who these men were (everyone knew) and the community pretty much nodded along when the death certificate said natural causes. The widow would dress in black for a couple years and basically go on with her life.

Here’s a recent article about how dire the situation was and would be again.

Sounds like nobody told them about rat poison.

They will learn about it first hand soon

Day 5 of posting Dazai being Dazai Are you sure 'bout that Dazai

you silly little ex mafioso you

Today has been rough. We all need some positivity. Reblog this with something good that happened to you today. It doesn't have to be anything major. Just something that made you smile.

I'll start. I won $5.00 on a scratch ticket ☺️

i held my cat (the one in my pfp) in a funny way and his legs stuck out and it was really cute

ppl in my class said im observing

my friends said my haircut looked good and it suited me :3

Okay, hear me out: The seven decide to do a trauma candy salad on Piper’s social media, and within a day it becomes her most liked post and starts 6 new conspiracies.

Percy: Hey, I’m Percy Jackson, and when I was 12, I accidentally blew up the gateway arch, and there was a nation-wide manhunt for me because they thought I was a terrorist. I brought Reese's Pieces.

Annabeth: My name is Annabeth, and when I was 7 years old, I ran away from home and lived on the streets with two other kids until one of them was murdered in front of me. I brought starbursts.

Leo: Hi! I’m Leo, and my mother died in a warehouse fire, but my entire family blamed me for her death, so I was put in foster care. I brought skittles!

Piper: I’m Piper, and my dad was held hostage, and his kidnappers tried to blackmail me, so I brought the m&m's. 

Jason: My name is Jason and I was abandoned in the woods and raised by wolves. I brought some Swedish fish.

Frank: I’m Frank, and when my mom died, my grandmother kicked me out of the house and told me to go to California. After I came back to ask her about our family history, the house burned down and she vanished. I brought some gummy bears

Hazel: When I was 13, I died. I’m putting in life savers :)

i love him.

@thegolden-tigeress look at our man :3

hell yeahhh fun tag

i'm always bad at tagging people, let's try 10, @robinsnest2111 @crueclown22 @arnold-layne @justagremlinoncaffeine @glitteronadumpsterfire @criminallyoverrated @moinsbienquekaworu @possibly-in-wonderland @st1ne @lucifer-just-needs-a-hug

Thank you for the tag! Also, no way, I’ve literally had Hot Patootie stuck in my head for days!

@star-dust-shark @ziggy-stardust-is-in-love @their80smichelle @fake-guns-blazing @someone-kill-the-ej @hopelesshardrockfan @midnightpia @duffyduffles @four-leafed-queer-gal @fanciest-sauce

Thank you for the tag !!🫶🏼🫶🏼

I already did it but I'll do it again with other songs (i have like a hundred of fav songs lol)

1 - Top Jimmy - Van Halen

2 - Fight Fire With Fire - Metallica

3 - Midnight / Tornado - Skid Row

4 - Somebody Save Me - Cinderella

5 - Talk Dirty To Me - Poison

(I still have so many fav songs)

Tag : @rocknrollisnotdead @trublooder @kay-random @wayward-asshole @ilove80sbands @midnightpia @st4rby-iiii @nikkisicck @accihoe @unknownperson246

oh god who to tag... @naima-lugosis-dead , @no-aloha , @sokoneedsagun , @cronaz-diary , @iamthedisappearingboy , @o-vishtay , @l0serdust , @miisswrld , @auroramercedes

okay done tagging. theres so many more i want to tag but i will not sorry yall

In no specific order

1. Lounge Act - Nirvana

2. Credit In The Straight World - Hole

3. Bluebell - Babes in Toyland

4. Skulls - Misfits

5. tony hawk (and other people who won’t answer my emails) - Tooth Cemetery

I don’t talk to people from this account (usually) uhhh random mutuals of mine (love you guys/p): @tulipisagarden @lightoutage @mildlybizarrecorvid @starshineandbooks @magic-crazy-as-this @stalkerofstuff @blocks-does-stuff @harleenquinntime @bluesheep23 @w3atherboy

1 The House Always Wins - The Stupendium

2 Rainbow Connection - Me First and The Gimme Gimmes

3 Anything Goes - Cole Porter

4 Want You Gone - Ellen McLain

5 You Can't Hide - Ck9c

Summoning:

Thanks for the tag!

1 (all time favourite-) Kaze ga Fuku Machi by Lucklife

Plus current favs

2 The world's continuation by Ado

3 Carol of the Bells by Lindsey Stirling

4 lifeless stars by Palaye Royale

5 wolf in sheep's clothing by Set it Off

No pressure tags: @kaiserkisser @kimisbunny @loftedlow @thesummerrtriangle @pennyroyald @silly-zai @lucyxblossom @exy-mybeloved @syunkiss @crowscadence + open tags!

OH MMY GOD I LOVE WOLF IN SHEEPS CLOTHING WHATD DHHSHDHSHS my favs rn:

tagging @fyodorsushankaaa @raskoln1kovsaxe @thegolden-tigeress @s0lace-1n-s0l1tude @punkisntdeadandneitherami @milk-violet + open :33 /np