@kaijuborn / kaijuborn.tumblr.com
My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.
This one really does just gain momentum with every new word, huh?
Dom Monaghan and Billy Boyd on Merry, Pippin and the Ents, the Two Towers, Cast Commentary
Beau only has two modes
+ bonus:
best advice i ever got as a writer was to pick a hobby that i hated more than writing and stick with it. i’m a runner now and it’s miserable and i Hate It and writing is so lovely in comparison. bonus: i’m in excellent shape and running gives you a lot of time to think about writing. i’ve solved a lot of plot complications while running.
This is such funny advice. Writing is so excruciating, you gotta take up Self Torture so that writing feels like a fun little break 😭
Are you struggling with being a writer? Well Have You Tried Poison Testing As A Hobby,
The worst part of human adulthood is being your own zookeeper
I want to stuff a pumpkin full of raw meat and roll it around my enclosure, but I also know that I’ll have to be the one to clean up afterwards :-(
Take steps to minimize the mess! Put a cheap, disposable plastic tarp down in the area you'll be rolling it around. And.. Maybe recognize your species-specific needs and cook the meat first
Actually, if we're going for species-specific enrichment, a pumpkin may not be the best solution. We're not built for pouncing on prey or batting it around. We're distinguished by our persistence hunting and tool use
What you should do is put a pack of jerky on top of a roomba, go in another room and count to ten like you're playing hide and seek - or use this time to find a tool to use - and when you come back, try to catch it by setting a trap or by pinning it down with a stick
When you want a greater challenge, have a friend drive an RC car full of jerky around the park, and chase it until it runs out of battery
Aliens trying to cure the Clinical Depression of Humans aboard their ships by theorising Earth-Specific enrichment activites...
I feel like it might work tho
Skeleton girlfriend who keeps locking your possessions in chests and guarding them with a rusty sword
When she's losing in argument she falls apart on the floor and refuses to talk to you
they way I can never relax in this DLC
drake?
josh?
where’s the body of christ?
Please reblog
Anon asked for some silly drawings involving daud and his whalers.
Monster Aficionado Crow
Here he goes.
Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.
“Slutantions” has me crying laughing
i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.
“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry
love,
blue”
the subject line was “OW”
THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”
As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.
On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”
Reblogging for the last addition
Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.
Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.
Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.
IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.
It’s even worse than i remember it
World Heritage Post
