♡ 　　isa 　　ˬ

i abandon hatred. i leave it behind, for it no longer serves me nor do i serve it. i love, i love, i love. i do not hate without reason, i do not cast judgement without purpose. i have experienced it, i have known it, i have served it and served it well. and i serve it no longer, for what have i gained? i do not wish this pain on my worst enemy. this is not out of a self righteous desire to be holier-than-thou, rather to avoid anyone else feeling this hurt that aches my heart and grinds my bones. all the misery i project, what is there to gain from it? satisfaction? happiness? fulfillment? no, i will no longer bind myself to these feelings without reason. i break these chains. i will not be fettered to a darkness that only swallows me with it.

there's so many deities i want to or have tried to reach out to for worship , but they're so distant sometimes . at first , i thought i was doing something wrong , or that i was just unlikeable . but it's nothing like that . it's more like it's not the time for them to enter my life right now . when the time is ready , they'll come . maybe they'll never come . that's okay too . polytheism is the belief in many gods , not the burning out to appease as many as possible . i don't need to worship every god deeply to prove my religion and my beliefs . it's okay to slow down .