whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3

Major scientific breakthrough spotted. in the boundlessly chaotic void of linguistic misunderstanding

Calappa lophos

That's how these crabs breathe! Flowing water has more oxygen, so doing this allows their gills to take more oxygen. Underwater you wouldn't notice, but the water here is at just the right depth to make a it look like a cute water fountain! ==:)

The teenager was asked to write a short scene or draw a short comic using a comedic trope from a list on a handout in their HS American Lit class. They chose to do the comic …

the Bard will never die.

and this comic is fucking genius.

My perfect thick idiot son, Calvin, who has never done anything wrong in his entire life except today when I let him climb my young redbud tree and he went to the highest branch and wedged himself in the crook of it and wouldn't budge and he's so big I was afraid that he might break the branch so I had to get a stepladder and get him down while the neighborhood jays that come by for peanuts whenever they see me in the yard freaked out and sat screaming on the fence to warn me that there's a snake very near me because I'm obviously too stupid to see it and clearly in mortal peril.

snake spotted!!

Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them

It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger

No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this

This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.

The finger blocks it

The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.

The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand

People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded.

No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong.

Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.

No the finger would stop it

I’m loving the idiocy of this post.

Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom…

Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics >:V

no the finger would stop it

You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses

the finger would stop it

date of origin: 28th of december, 2015.

These fuckwits are back again? How’s it going, Nine Finger Nasty? About to turn into an Eight Finger Egghead?

@meatswitch @raptorific this is a US based site. US Americans are known for two things- obsession with guns and incredible stupidity. Had this been anyone else, I’d say they’re trying to fuck with us. But with US Americans, about 70% of them are dead serious about mangling their hands trying to stop a bullet.

I’ve had four years to think about it and now I think the finger would stop it

I just tested it with my buddy. It stops the bullet

….Mythbusters WELDED A METAL SPIKE into the barrel of a gun to obstruct it, something heaps stronger than a human finger (and sealed the barrel better with the filler metal used to fuse the metal spike into place and prevent the explosive gases from escaping) but even that didn’t stop the bullet from doing damage.

It’s because they didn’t use a finger like I did

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Closest match: Aporophyla nigra genome assembly, chromosome: 12 Common name: Black rustic

(image source)

The fuck’s going on here? You’d rip your hand apart you fucks

no the finger would stop it

I’m dying right now

I’m so glad Australia has strict gun laws or I swear, you’d be looking left and right and you’d see people missing more fingers that usual

Because of the Coriolis effect, in the southern hemisphere the bullets come out the other way. That’s why you have good gun laws, because people could get really hurt if the bullet didn’t come out the front so your finger could stop it.

Artificial intelligence makes accurate sheep counting.

i used to work for a nature center and we would constantly have wild owls come and call out to the owls in their cages and try to 1.) get them to follow them or 2.) they were looking for a mate

in the spirit of this post: when you live in areas with wild horses, the number one culprit for horse theft is actually other horses, because the young stallions that get chased out of the herd wanna start their own, and oh, look, look at all those cute mares in just,,,,a fenced off grassy area,,,how easy would it be to lure them over the fence,,,like some four-legged yodeling pied piper,,,

i think about this a lot

This is so cute wtf

Social animals will see another animal amd be like: Is anyone going to befriend this? And then not wait for an answer.

Humans are, delightfully, nowhere near the only ones who do this.

scrolling through tes tags when inevitably I run into pornbot posts tagged with shit like "morrowind" and "Martin Septim," but guess what NO gay little elf ears, NO raggedy old priests, NO commitment to the bit what's the point sick of all these perky tits smh

This goes so fucking hard I think I'm in love tbh

Hey anon I'm single and you sound so insane and hot

Quite bizarre.

I think this is funny for no real reason

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

reminds me of this gif

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

much woah

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

Y’all have no idea how hard I was trying not to laugh in class at that poor bird

They…they just blew up a fucking bird…

Ball’s dead. Bird’s dead. I’m dead

World Heritage Post

personally my favorite thing about Mr. Bird Evaporator is this imagine being the poor fool tryna rob this man’s house only to be instantly transported to the same dimension as that bird

He does photography now, and I guess just in case you’re booking him wondering “is it that Randy Johnson?” … here’s his logo:

working in retail

THEY'A TRIMMED THE HERBS!

Source

Okay I'm gonna add some context in case anyone doesn't know or remember

There's been a group of people on the internet called "Team 0%" (link it to their website, where you can also find this info), who've been working towards making the original Mario Maker for the Wii U have every level cleared

They though this level, named Trimming the Herbs, would be impossible for a human and would stay uncleared, because it was clear tested using a hardware cheats, something though to be impossible for the Wii U until the creator admitted to using them 7 years later, so the team decided to not count the level due to this

However, the person playing in this video, Sanyx91SMM2, after 100 hours of practice and attempts, managed to beat it without any tools on April 5th 2024, becoming the first to ever truely clear the level, days before the servers shut down

To signify this, team 0% decided to make the completion percent on their website say 101%, treating it like the secret final boss of Mario Maker

Team 0%: we're going to beat EVERY SINGLE LEVEL before they turn off the servers

Team 0%: okay we beat them all except one. That one is too hard. Maybe the creator cheated?

The creator: yeah I cheated. Sorry.

Team 0%: okay then we've beaten all the legitimate levels, just not this one cheat level that no one can beat.

Team 0%: nm we just beat it