mouthporn.net
@justarandombrit on Tumblr
Avatar

Theatre Kid In Training

@justarandombrit

They/Them - Minor - Mainly Starkid stuff - Starship 🔛🔝 - Number one Firebringer defender - Spies Are Forever has consumed my entire brain - It's Starkid, Innit? changed my brain chemistry - So did SAF London
Avatar

I've been on Tumblr for a couple weeks now, and I thought I should probably do an introduction post, so here you go!

Hello! I don't really have an online name, so just go with whatever, but, like my username implies, I am British (fuck the Tories, Larry for PM!!). I use they/them (and he/him sometimes) and I'm a minor. I'm bi-oriented but aro-spec and if I think about my gender too hard my brain starts hurting.

My main fandoms are: Most Starkid musicals (the AVPM series will be tagged with tw H*rry P*tter + I'll try to trigger tag anything related to R*bert M*nion), Tin Can Bros (especially Spies Are Forever), Doctor Who, (recently) Dead Boy Detectives, Community and (once in a blue moon) BBC Ghosts, Ride The Cyclone, Good Omens and the Buffyverse. (I'm also a fan of vexillology, cartography, bryology, etymology and general linguistics, but I hardly ever post about that)

This blog mainly consists of art, shitposts and me keyboard smashing about Hatchetfield. (Nothing inappropriate or NSFW, other than some mild swearing)

(No specific DNI, but if you're like... Openly hateful you'll probably be blocked. My opinion on every discourse (especially especially shipping discourse - ship and let ship) is pictured below ↓

I think that's about it? Have a nice day / night / afternoon tea and I'd appreciate you checking out this blog!

(I can't believe I've been on this site for a year already)

Avatar
Avatar
chirabella

I’m sitting in a coffee shop right now, and there’s a teenage boy and girl (I’d say about 16-17) sitting at the next table over. At first I thought they were on a date, but actually the exact opposite is happening - no, not a breakup. I mean they’re talking about the fact that they both have a crush on the same girl. Currently they’re very earnestly debating whether they should ask her out one after another or if they should go together like in that one episode of Community.

Update: They are now flipping a coin to see who gets to go first 😭

Oh shit I think the girl they were talking about just came in? It doesn’t look like they planned to meet up, because the girl (she won the coin toss) went bright red and is trying to hide behind her purse.

Update: She turned them both down 😔

(Her reasoning was that they’re all in the same friend group and she doesn’t want to blow things up if there’s Drama, which is fair enough. Honestly, all three of them are being super mature about this.)

Avatar
reblogged

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

Avatar
tbbackus

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

Avatar
agatharights

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

Avatar
soulpunchftw

This is wild from start to finish

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger

My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.

i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show. 

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.

Avatar
cinder-ember

During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?

Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.

The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.

Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.

Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.

Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.

Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.

Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.

Sunday Night:  Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.

Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.

Avatar
fat-hippie

I was in Twelfth Night during high school and we were lucky enough to have identical twin girls playing Viola and Sebastian. Due to the blocking in the first half of the play, their characters didn’t appear on stage together but rather almost consecutively one after the other for a majority of the first act.

It was awesome because when people saw the play and didn’t know the girls were identical twins, it literally looked like it was one actor doing multiple, uber fast costume changes.

One of our first performances was for our peers and it was a big school so lots of people didn’t know the twins. This - for some reason - was also the performance they chose to record.

Listening to the confusion of the audience during the playback was fantastic and completely topped by the moment Viola walked off stage left just as Sebastian walked on stage right and someone right beside the camera goes “OH WHAT THE FUCK” so loudly it drowned out everything else.

The best thing? That was the copy of the play that was made available for purchase by family and parents. Haha.

Oh my god. I went to one of the Spiderman shows where he flew out above the audience and then got stuck and had to awkwardly hang there for about 10 minutes, but these stories are brilliant.

okay so, my senior year of high school and I’m part of the stage crew for Peter Pan. There’s a scene where Hook and Smee are searching for Peter and the Lost Boys. Now the theater department at my high school isn’t very well funded (in the southern USA, football is king), so the sets we managed to make were pretty kickass for the money we had. We had a structure painted like a big tree stump for the entrance to the Lost Boys’ hideout. You could climb to the top of it, but also go inside it through a trap door that we kept locked up during most of the play.

It’s like our third show and everything has been going surprisingly well. Hook and Smee climb to the top of the “tree trunk”, supposedly looking for Peter and not knowing they’re standing above his hiding spot the whole time.

Turns out someone didn’t close the trapdoor properly, because the second Hook steps on it, he plunges through the thing. He’s able to catch himself, but he’s got his ass and one leg dangling through this hole where it’s like a ten foot drop to the ground. All of us stage crew are literally two feet away from him offstage, just gaping at him because???? Y'all this fall looked BAD. Looked like my dude did the splits in mid air. The whiplash caused his fucking wig to come off. The audience is dead silent, all of us backstage are dead silent, the director is like already looking up how to treat a broken groin.

The kid who was playing Hook was like a fuckin sophomore and he KILLED it. He gave himself a second to catch his breath, never broke character, just looked up at his castmate and growled “Smee, you fool, help me up!”. He ended up playing off the wig thing as an embarrassing comedic bit for Hook, and the play went on. He was completely fine. It was the best thing I’d ever seen.

Avatar
squidspawn

There was an infamous performance of the opera Don Giovanni where in the last act Giovanni was suppose to be dragged into hell via trapdoor but the overweight actor got stuck, leading someone from the audience to shout: “Hey everyone, Hell’s full!!” 

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before but the Lefou story has me in tears every time.

As someone who did Tech stuff in High school for 4 years, Lefou!

I was a costumer on a stage version of Titanic, and in the scene where the women and children are getting in the lifeboats, one of the men (who was supposed to be saying goodbye to his wife he knows he will never see again because his is about to die), realized his fake mustache was falling off and instead of playing it cool… he rips it off his face, and hands it to his wife with the line “Something to remember me by”…it was the funniest thing that I have ever seen in my 8 years in theatre, the entire cast lost their shit laughing at the most dramatic moment possible

I am laughing so hard I’ve been crying for ten minutes. Thank you

I don’t have anything to add other than I saw a recording of a community (I think) production of Into The Woods and the Milky White prop died too early and everyone stares dumbly at the fallen over cow.

I think Jack ran over and adlibed something about, “I know it’s hard but don’t give up, Milky White!” while righting the prop.

My high school had a rogue director who seemed to choose obscure shows on purpose, and had us do a theatrical adaptation of one of the old Pink Panther movies, where I was incongruously and rather insensitively cast as the Chinese bodyguard, Cato (I am very female and very white).

Anyway, during one scene, I was supposed to be handed a ticking package that was very clearly a bomb sent by the villain. I would gingerly run offstage with the thing held at arm’s length before there was the sound of an explosion and a large puff from our smoke machine. Well, one night the smoke machine malfunctioned before the package even got delivered and smoke started filling the stage. Inspector Clouseau, without missing a beat, started ranting about how I was always burning his dinner.

During a college production of Jesus Christ Superstar, the cross started to tilt during the crucifixion scene. All of us in the audience were holding our breath, willing it to stay in place, but to no avail. The cross, with Jesus firmly attached, keeled over ¾ of the way through the scene. The actor (who wasn’t hurt, thank goodness) continued on as if nothing had happened. Unfortunately, the next line was, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Yeah, we all lost it.

I wanted this thread of hilarity to never, ever end.

As both an actor and stage manager, I completely believe all of these.

One time we were doing a production of newsies, and the crutchie actor straight up forgot to bring out his crutch. Like this dude jogs out onto the stage and right as he goes to say a line about oh my leg is bad! His eyes widen. He pauses. He stares at jack. Jack stares at him. They’re in a silent battle of how to fix this terrible mistake. I just yeet the crutch at him, bonking him in the head. Silently, and with the straightest face I think I’ve ever seen from this guy, he picks up the crutch, looks up to jack. And then, then he says the words that have been immortalized in my mind. With his clearest, most newsie accent, he starts “I was gonna say that I have a bad leg. But due to this crutch from the heavens I don’t think that’s the problem. I think God may have failed at aiming however because I now have a concussion and that makes me have a bad head” and he gave me the dirtiest glare before the scene continued as if nothing had happened

Avatar
fruity-phrog

you know what i WILL add to this

a school performance I was in once involved a few people being on stage and then two people come onstage, one walking a dog. My friend was the one walking the dog, my brother was the other person. We had one of those toy dogs on a leash to bring on, it seemed very simple and easy. I took my place at the side of the stage and after a few moments of the lights awkwardly being up and no one walking on, I could hear our director hissing “where’s the dog-” because apparently they’d misplaced the dog. After a few more moments of improvising basic stage directions, my friend walked on holding the leash and my brother crawling on all fours as the dog. The audience must have assumed it was just how we were supposed to do it but I was so so very unprepared to see that sight, and could barely hold it together.

Avatar

where is that renaissance painting with those two fellers and a giant fucking random skull on the floor that looks like it was accidentally stretched out in photoshop

somebody please explain

Someone once told me it’s like that because it was designed to be hung in a stairwell so the skull pops out as you walk past.

…I guess it works but you have to be at a pretty sharp angle

There was a whole trend at one point where artists would include something in their paintings (usually a skull, for whatever reason) that’s super distorted in just the right way so that it looks normal if you hold the painting up to a convex/concave mirror. I have absolutely no idea why. But I think that’s what’s going on here.

Avatar
crtter

In case anyone’s curious, here’s what it looks like when you walk past it irl:

It does have a 3D effect to it! It’s pretty neat, guess it would be even more impressive to people from the 14th century.

honestly, people just looking at the skull are missing the real deal here

You can read any implied text you see in this thing, even the book, that’s how detailed it is. Look at the painting on those letters!

jesus christ you’re just showing off now, Hans!

HANS OH MY GOD

anyway, the skull apparently had some meaning about the transcendence of death, you can only see it clearly when you can’t see the world clearly and vice versa, but man, I’m all about the detail in this guy’s shit

No, I think you’re missing the real deal here

as an art historian, i think this is the best post on tumblr

Avatar
reblogged

I feel like we as a fandom aren't talking enough about the fact that Betelgeuse is around 600 light-years away and has been a red giant for a good bit now.

I don't imagine it'd be very fun for Ford to look up at the night sky and stare at the small red dot he was born by, knowing that there's always the possibility that the star and his home are gone and he has no idea yet.

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
apolladay
Anonymous asked:

Shipcourse tw ⚠️

Antis, do you believe proshippers when they say proship just means anti-harassment? Do you consider yourself pro-harassment or anti-harassment¹?

  • I don't believe them, I think they're lying. I'm pro-harassment.
  • I don't believe them, I think they're wrong but not lying². I'm pro-harassment.
  • I believe them. I'm pro-harassment.
  • I don't believe them, I think they're lying. I'm anti harassment.
  • I don't believe them, I think they're wrong but not lying². I'm anti-harassment.
  • I believe them. I'm anti-harassment but still don't consider myself proship (why?)
  • Proship/Neutral/Uninvolved button

1: For the purposes of this poll Anti-harassment means without exceptions, while pro-harassment includes those who may not actively harass but does not consider it bad in all circumstances, and those who consider themselves "neutral" on harassment.

2: Wrong but not lying = They believe they are telling the truth when they say it, they are wrong about it but they truly believe it.

* explain why in the tags/comments

1: For the purposes of this poll Anti-harassment means without exceptions, while pro-harassment includes those who may not actively harass but does not consider it bad in all circumstances, and those who consider themselves "neutral" on harassment.

2: Wrong but not lying = They believe they are telling the truth when they say it, they are wrong about it but they truly believe it.

Avatar
Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
apolladay
Anonymous asked:

USAmericans: Assuming someone is generally on the same side of politics as you, do you respect their political opinions* more or less if you find out they didn't vote (by choice, not because they can't)? Did YOU vote in the 2024 election?

  • I respect someone's political opinion more if they don't vote, I didn't vote
  • I respect someone's political opinion more if they don't vote, I voted
  • I respect someone's political opinion the same regardless if they vote or not, I didn't vote
  • I respect someone's political opinion the same regardless if they vote or not, I voted
  • I respect someone's political opinion less if they don't vote, I didn't vote
  • I respect someone's political opinion less if they don't vote, I voted
  • Not USAmerican/Can't vote/Results

*This is not about if you agree with them, just if you're willing to hear them out more or less if you find out they didn't vote.

* I respect someone's political opinion the same regardless if they vote or not, I didn't vote

** I respect someone's political opinion the same regardless if they vote or not, I voted

This is not about if you agree with them, just if you're willing to hear them out more or less if you find out they didn't vote.

Avatar
Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
apolladay
Anonymous asked:

People who aren't from the UK or Ireland, do you know what bonfire night is?

  • Yes, and I partake in it, and I know the story behind it
  • Yes, and I partake in it, but I only know part of the story behind it
  • Yes, and I partake in it, and I do not know the story behind it
  • Yes, and I know the full story behind it
  • Yes, but I only know part of the story behind it
  • Yes, but I don't know the story behind it
  • No
  • See results/I'm from the UK or Ireland

Sorry this is late Anon. Curse of the full inbox I'm afraid. I do know what bonfire night is though and I'm Canadian - H :)

Avatar
Avatar
Avatar
valtsv

bro quit shielding me from danger with your body you're going to make the audience think we're gay

brooooo i'm serious stop pushing me up against the wall when you confront me about how reckless and foolish i am don't you realize how homoerotic that looks

no bro don't offer to follow me wherever i may go even to the ends of the earth that's so gay haha

Avatar

My lips are so chapped that they're hurting

Not yet, no.

No I’m sorry are you fucking COLOUR BLIND?? ITS CLEARLY RED

ITS BLOOD ORANGE RED OKAY ITS RED BASED THO LITERALLY COLOUR OICKED FORM A RED PALETTE

ORANGE IS A SHADE OF RED! STILL ORANGE

CHILDRENS HOSPITALS WOULD REVEL KN THIS COLOUR

NO THEY WOULD NOT

Don’t even think about it buddy

If this gets more than 120 notes I will scream

I'm going to start a new extinction event

ORANGE

A REDDY ORANGE, BUT ORANGE NONETHELESS

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net