people who know the next letter of the alphabet without singing the song are terrifying

Someone's upset.

ah, yes the gentle loner who occasionally unleashed violent acts towards neighbors and women  he knew

i find it so sad that he smiles less and less as the years go on. this picture really is worth a thousand words. :(

When I read something factually incorrect and it has hundreds of likes and shares

A lot of people actually don’t know that while shooting this scene, Matt LeBlanc hurt his forehead by banging it on that painting, and had a lump that couldn’t be covered up by makeup so they delayed the Friends series finale for five weeks as a result.

Is "nothing allowed to be funny anymore", is that what's really happening? I think you mean "I like to tell jokes that are at least a little bit mean in their own way, and sometimes people find these jokes at least a little bit mean in their own way". To the people that get offended by people getting offended, if your comedy is only funny because it's offensive, then don't be upset if someone finds it offensive but not funny.

If you incorporate an offensive aspect into well constructed jokes, I'll probably laugh at them but I wouldn't blame anyone who found themselves unable to appreciate the mechanics of the joke because of the offensive aspect.

If you're making a joke at anyone's expense, it's an offensive joke, deal with it.

Offensive jokes offend people.

Complicated, I know.

every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself

so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead

now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here

the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family

eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again

Hillary Clinton is trying so hard to be relatable and is failing in every way possible