Stop making people feel bad for liking things that make them happy

whenever you start to think or say something negative about yourself just imagine one of your favorite characters busting into the room out of nowhere to grip your shoulders and look you directly in the eyes while saying “that’s not true” and whenever you try to argue they just list off something positive about you and kiss your forehead or cheek then in your momentary daze and confusion they literally pick you up and carry you off to get ice cream

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If I hear the phrase “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” one more time I think I’m gonna puke.

Telling someone who struggles with feelings of inferiority that they’ve allowed that to happen to themselves is just about the worst possible way to help them.

I know I reblogged this just the other day, but I’m reblogging it again to add that if you say people are oppressed because they don’t think positively enough, you can pretty much fuck yourself with several chainsaws, is what you can do.

Why is it the worst possible way to help them? Because you’ve essentially removed the blame from the cause and turned that person into the cause for why they feel inferior. A bully is bullying you and won’t stop no matter what you do? The quote implies it’s your fault for feeling inferior and removes the blame from the bully. There are other ways to boost a person’s self-confidence—victim-blaming is not one of them.

If I hear the phrase “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” one more time I think I’m gonna puke.

Telling someone who struggles with feelings of inferiority that they’ve allowed that to happen to themselves is just about the worst possible way to help them.

Why is it the worst possible way to help them? Because you've essentially removed the blame from the cause and turned that person into the cause for why they feel inferior. A bully is bullying you and won't stop no matter what you do? The quote implies it's your fault for feeling inferior and removes the blame from the bully. There are other ways to boost a person's self-confidence—victim-blaming is not one of them.

This is your daily reminder that self-indulgence can be a form of self-care.

That ‘because it makes me feel better’ is a completely valid reason to do something.

That if something makes you happy then it is not pointless or a waste of time.

That if doing something makes you feel better then it is not something that is unproductive to do.

And that doing things that make you feel okay is just as important as anything else.

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I wish I could have little print outs of this and give them to all the dudes who feel entitled to have access to me on the bus, at cafes, and when I’m just walking/biking around and won’t leave me alone even when I pointedly will not respond to them, won’t make eye contact or switch seats to get away from them. 

I have an issue with this.

If you’re wearing headphones? Okay, that I understand. I can understand body language and if she is indeed facing away from the general public I wouldn’t bother the person, male or female.

However, I like to be friendly and social. I don’t want to be afraid to interact with human beings. I know this is hyperbole but the last box on the first part bothers me a lot.

If I think a girl looks really nice in a dress, I would want to tell her. Okay maybe not the dress thing but if I see a guy or girl reading my favorite book or wearing a super cool Doctor Who hoodie or something I would want to say something.

People shouldn’t live their lives afraid of being snapped at when trying to make friendly conversation with a person.

I think this is less of a commentary on someone who just wants to be friendly versus someone who out and out feels entitled to talk to a girl, even though all other social cues points to the fact that she explicitly does not want to make conversation or engage in any way. If someone complimented what I was reading or doing or wearing at a coffee shop (provided they did it in a non creepy way) I would be flattered, but sometimes one would rather err on the side of caution. As Margaret Atwood puts it, to paraphrase, “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid that men will kill them.” 

it’s the fear of far greater harm than humiliation that makes women take this stance, and even though you might have the best of intent, some people won’t be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt for whatever reason, and you need to respect that, and to respect their space. 

I’ve had lots of lovely conversations with strangers who were dudes, but they were respectful enough to be able to read social cues and to stay a safe distance away, and that was cool.