bitches love me for my whimsical nature

Could never get a dick piercing. What if I get near a strong magnet and it rips my thang asunder

To all my American friends, the time is now.

Please, execute a BOMBARDMENT. Call your representatives!

me: wow, i love wading in these swampy waters. surely i am safe from any creatures that wish to bite me

the patient alligator:

chuckling indulgently.. oh go on... i suppose a LITTLE bit of monica in my life wouldn't hurt

Hi, everybody :3

I recently read W.I.T.C.H. comics for the first time, before that I only watched the series as a child. I’ve never drawn on this universe before. And so, having received a huge dose of impressions, I drew our favorite guardians for the first time in my life.

For me, this comics is very important, because for a very long time I couldn’t bring myself to draw what I like. This story inspired me to finally pick up a stylus, and I’m going to show the result of this inspiration in further posts.

*trying to call a woman beautiful but i've forgotten how to engage other humans in conversation* girl, you remind me of architecture

he/they delilah whats it like in new y. actually. i worked a long shift today i dont feel like finishing this post. sorry you know how it is

everybody in the club get earnest

sensitive white boy freaking it genuine style on the dance floor

I’ve been playing so much sudoku. You have no idea how much sudoku I’m playing. Every time I close my eyes I see the grid. I’m making moves in my sleep. 179432568. 653897124. 824516937. 915683742. 246175893. 387249615. 561724389. 498351276. 732968451. This morning before I was fully awake I was playing sudoku in my head. I rise with the dawn. I’m a warrior of numbers. You’re nothing to me.

The iron fortress of my mind is like the torment nexus for Arabic numerals 1 through 9. No puzzle forged against me shall prosper. I’m the square’s strongest soldier. You can’t even count, bitch. If sudoku was a drug I’d be in rehab, except I wouldn’t, because I never quit. There are 81 squares in the sudoku board and that means there are at least 81 things that are more important than you. Now get the fuck out of my sight.

I wasn't finished yet. I'm scribing numbers you haven't even heard of. I play so much sudoku in my brain I can't tell if I actually played sudoku this morning, or if I just thought about it really hard. I asked the lady at the checkout counter if she had any more sudoku puzzles. She said "i'll check in the back." She went to the back, and she never came back. I'm like a cave fish. I'm losing senses I don't need. I'm adapted to my environment. I don't know who I am anymore

how fucking sinister is this. i cant imagine the emotion i’d feel if i saw someone wearing a jet black baseball cap with a propeller

i just bought the hat

the hat has arrived

Love in its purest form

guy who makes a spreadsheet to figure out if his crush likes him back

t-shirt that says "i'm not the step dad" and that's all it says

"well then what are you?" i couldn't tell ya! but i sure know what i'm not

the step dad

my favorite grandpaism of all time is when he said "every time i learn a new person's name i forget the name of a fish." that shit has stuck with me for years. what did he mean by that