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Living Contradiction

@jujumacaroni / jujumacaroni.tumblr.com

Hi, I'm Joe! 23 human years. Perverted unbalanced drama queen with psychotic tendencies. Only sober when asleep, socially awkward at all times. Reblogging shit, Welcome to Night Vale, Harry Potter, weaboo stuff, Ghibli, all things that exist (and do not exist). Links to other accounts on nav bellow, I'm also on YouTube! Please follow, I often follow back. :D
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NMB48 Kinoshita Momoka’s Kiteiretsu ‘My time as a kenkyuusei where I held strong against unreasonable demands’

~Choker~

I know it just seems like a collar, but to me it’s an item to which I have very strong memories attached. After passing the NMB48 auditions, it was an item that I used to wear sometimes, however I was yelled at by a certain staff member to 'take it off’. 
Even while thinking that they had no reason to control my clothing I wore outside of work, I took it off obediently. 
Afterwards, even though I was being obedient, the same person started saying to me again 'you’re not idol-like at all’. 
Even though I said I would quit because of this comment, my application to quit was rejected. 
This exchange happened numerous times, until I snapped. I made up my resolve that I may be fired for it, and I started wearing lolita fashion to handshake events. 
That person must have given up on me, they never said anything to me regarding my clothing again. 
When I was a kenkyuusei, there were times when I wasn’t allowed to eat my bentou along with the members who had been put in a team. 
Because of these experiences, I can now deal with most unreasonable demands which are thrown at me.
I’m glad that I started as a kenkyuusei*. I really, honestly think so now.

Translator’s Notes:

* = Momoka was one of the few first generation members who wasn’t promoted to original Team N, so by this she means that she’s glad she started out as a kenkyuusei first. This wasn’t mentioned explicitly in the text but I thought I’ll put it here for background information.

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